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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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7 hours ago, Nightjar said:

So I got rejected for a freaking house share because I don't have a job 😳 I mean I couldn't ask for less when it comes to accommodation. And it was a no. Its a bloody good job I wasn't counting on that. 

Is there any way you can prove(financial statements) you're able to pay your part of the share, job or no job?

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

Happy Easter everyone!  I have to admit it.  It's been a pretty good day.  Candy and TV.

happy easter to you also, saw my daughter today and it was pleasant, better day then in a long time

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8 hours ago, Nightjar said:

So I got rejected for a freaking house share because I don't have a job 😳 I mean I couldn't ask for less when it comes to accommodation. And it was a no. Its a bloody good job I wasn't counting on that. 

sorry to hear this, you've been struggling with this and did not need this bomb drop,  did they give any input other then because you don't work, i mean if you have the money what does it matter

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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

Happy Easter everyone!  I have to admit it.  It's been a pretty good day.  Candy and TV.

Happy Easter Sober!  I am doing so so. Still feeling ill.  We had snow this morning.

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1 hour ago, surfcaster said:

happy easter to you also, saw my daughter today and it was pleasant, better day then in a long time

Glad to hear you saw your daughter today.  😀 Happy Easter!

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4 hours ago, SummerinBerlin said:

Had a very uncomfortable family meal and couldn't get out fast enough. All so oblivious, self- centered and negative. Now crying and numb at the same time-weird.

Look on the positive, you survived even if now you are crying and numb. What made it uncomfortable, your family doesn't accept you for who you are? Standards are out of reach? They just dont understand you? Welcome to the forum and feel free to write down how you’re feeling, so we can understand you and support you through tough days. Whatever you are comfortable with writing

 

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Took a couple years more than expected,  but "churches packed full by Easter" finally materialized. I got KFC takeout to celebrate, but managed to overdo it with the champagne.

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I was able to get a new password. Didn't think I would because I thought I had registered under a different email. Relieved! Also listened to music a while, and just soaked in what I was being told. Life is a journey. Not pleasant at times, but if we step back a bit, we can better assess what people are really saying. Doing better.

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Feeling intense shame and hopelessness. The future is so bleak. I am so ashamed of what I have "accomplished" in life. I know my friends think I am pathetic and weird. COVID ruined a life that I was just starting to pick up the pieces of.

I can't just off myself because people depend on me. People who put their own needs first and could care less about what sacrifices I've had to make. This is torture.

And yet I know I shouldn't complain. People have it much worse. Just makes me feel even more like a jerk.

But this all feels like a prison, has felt like this for many years. I'd rather just get the chair at this point.

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3 hours ago, Kogent5 said:

Feeling intense shame and hopelessness. The future is so bleak. I am so ashamed of what I have "accomplished" in life. I know my friends think I am pathetic and weird. COVID ruined a life that I was just starting to pick up the pieces of.

I can't just off myself because people depend on me. People who put their own needs first and could care less about what sacrifices I've had to make. This is torture.

And yet I know I shouldn't complain. People have it much worse. Just makes me feel even more like a jerk.

But this all feels like a prison, has felt like this for many years. I'd rather just get the chair at this point.

So sorry to hear you are feeling awful.  Your feelings are your feelings.  You are important just like everyone else.  HUGS

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The high temperature for today is 39 degrees.  What does that mean in this state of Ohio?  It means the 80 degree days are coming.🤨Am I bipolar or does the crazy weather here just mess me up all the time?

Edited by sober4life
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9 hours ago, Handon Frypan said:

I was able to get a new password. Didn't think I would because I thought I had registered under a different email. Relieved! Also listened to music a while, and just soaked in what I was being told. Life is a journey. Not pleasant at times, but if we step back a bit, we can better assess what people are really saying. Doing better.

I'm so glad you were able to get a new password and are feeling better. Good on you!

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16 minutes ago, sober4life said:

The high temperature for today is 39 degrees.  What does that mean in this state of Ohio?  It means the 80 degree days are coming.🤨Am I bipolar or does the crazy weather here just mess me up all the time?

I think it's a Midwest thing. 30s to 60s in hours. Snow to melting same day. You never know, especially this time of year.

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11 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Look on the positive, you survived even if now you are crying and numb. What made it uncomfortable, your family doesn't accept you for who you are? Standards are out of reach? They just dont understand you? Welcome to the forum and feel free to write down how you’re feeling, so we can understand you and support you through tough days. Whatever you are comfortable with writing

 

Thanks for the reply. I, like some here, come from a dysfunctional family, including abuse, untreated mental illness, over controlling and enmeshment. I've had to set boundaries for my mental well-being. One parent resents the boundaries and can be nasty, hyper-critical and negative. I am connected by a sense of duty, not love. I attend family functions mainly to see niece's and nephews. There is another family member who only has one topic to discuss and it's always negative/complaining. I have excused myself from the room to get away as this person won't accept trying to change the subject. None of them know what I'm going through as I feel I can't trust them, and mental illness is taboo anyway. Think I've written enough for now. Thanks for caring. 

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Hi guys. Tired but I had some energy till this point which is good. I tidied up the garden at my place, got my stuff organised and did a load of washing. 

.. I'm gonna hang that out once the spin cycle has finished and that be it for me for the rest of the day with a bit of luck. Gonna try to chill as much as possible at narc mom's, though its not easy at her place when its busier than Andy Warhol's factory 🤔

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4 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Hi guys. Tired but I had some energy till this point which is good. I tidied up the garden at my place, got my stuff organised and did a load of washing. 

.. I'm gonna hang that out once the spin cycle has finished and that be it for me for the rest of the day with a bit of luck. Gonna try to chill as much as possible at narc mom's, though its not easy at her place when its busier than Andy Warhol's factory 🤔

Glad you had energy to be busy, that seems like a good way to not over think too much, besides keeping tidied up is good

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2 hours ago, surfcaster said:

Glad you had energy to be busy, that seems like a good way to not over think too much, besides keeping tidied up is good

Thanks, y'know, I've realised lately how much tidying helps my mood.. I've always known I like it but it's helped me through my darkest times, weirdly enough 🤨

How are you doin today surfcaster? 

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3 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Thanks, y'know, I've realised lately how much tidying helps my mood.. I've always known I like it but it's helped me through my darkest times, weirdly enough 🤨

How are you doin today surfcaster? 

Fair i guess, seeing my daughter lightened my mood some, meds are leveling off, running out of stuff to pack so i guess im about ready

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15 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Thanks, y'know, I've realised lately how much tidying helps my mood.. I've always known I like it but it's helped me through my darkest times, weirdly enough 🤨

How are you doin today surfcaster? 

I like cleaning and tidying up too.  I actually like mowing or really making anything I own look better.  I like handwashing the car.  It's always made me feel better to do those things.  

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9 hours ago, sober4life said:

The high temperature for today is 39 degrees.  What does that mean in this state of Ohio?  It means the 80 degree days are coming.🤨Am I bipolar or does the crazy weather here just mess me up all the time?

60 F is okay for me.  Anything above that drives me crazy.   

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On 4/17/2022 at 3:45 PM, SummerinBerlin said:

Had a very uncomfortable family meal and couldn't get out fast enough. All so oblivious, self- centered and negative. Now crying and numb at the same time-weird.

Sore to hear.  Family meals are challenging.  HUGS 🤗 

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