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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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Anxious and sad. Been another long week with a number of disappointments and letdowns. My family members just don’t seem to get it or honestly care at all much despite how many times I have tried to express my thoughts and concerns. 

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2 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Hey surfcaster 😁 how you doin? 

i'm surviving, no sense in complaining, getting real close to settlement and moving in to the new house at the end of the month and this recent episode really made it harder, i now have like 2 weeks to scramble and get things done, have to somehow keep the stress of it all from causing me to shut down again, that would be bad if i missed settlement because i was away.

but any way the morning sun looks beautiful rising over the bay, how are you today, anything good for you on the housing front

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31 minutes ago, surfcaster said:

i'm surviving, no sense in complaining, getting real close to settlement and moving in to the new house at the end of the month and this recent episode really made it harder, i now have like 2 weeks to scramble and get things done, have to somehow keep the stress of it all from causing me to shut down again, that would be bad if i missed settlement because i was away.

but any way the morning sun looks beautiful rising over the bay, how are you today, anything good for you on the housing front

Yes, I understand how stressful this is. When you say away, do you mean in hospital? Worse case scenario, could your wife get you to settlement while/if you were away? I found comfort in thinking that family could take over if I became too incapacitated to pack... 

In the end, I got it done anyway. Now I'm just waiting. We have long delays for all sorts of reasons and no offers I've made have been accepted.... I may be forced out of ownership at this rate. I'm almost resigned to the fact... 

Today, I'm tired as I spent a lot of the night worrying 🤪 but I'll do my best to make the most of the sun. 

Hope your day goes well 😎

 

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I guess my Seasonal Affective Depression isn’t just due to winter weather. It is cold and overcast and earlier there was some snow falling…wasn’t sticking though. This is like the 3rd or 4th weekend in a row of terrible weather and I am feeling it. My recent struggles have been amplified by the poor spring weather we have been having.

Saturdays are usually the one day per week where I am sort of okay and “functional”. Not sure about today, been extra anxious of late and dealing with the “time of the month” symptoms right now. I will be going to lunch today and unfortunately since I wasn’t able to go at any point this week, have to go to the store which is likely to be a crowded nightmare. Having company later that I am now uncomfortable being around…kind of nervous about it because of some recent realizations I have come to.

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8 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Why is it I start worrying about climate change at 2 o clock in the morning? 🤔

You probably had important things to do today too like me.  Why do we start worrying when we need to sleep?  Our mind always tries to find a way to torture us.  I'm convinced my mind wants me to fail.

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

You probably had important things to do today too like me.  Why do we start worrying when we need to sleep?  Our mind always tries to find a way to torture us.  I'm convinced my mind wants me to fail.

What have you been up to today sober? 😊

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I don’t know why I’m still in this marriage. I’m so alone. He obviously doesn’t love me anymore. I’m still living in his mum’s house, and she obviously hates me. For my daughter? Is it worth it? Do I still love him or is it all an act? I’m so hurt whenever he says he don’t love me. Do I not appreciate everything he has done for me? I feel I can’t go on anymore; I don’t want to go on anymore. I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate saving money for a house that is not build yet. Yet I still have to keep going. I hate God. I’m raised to believe in Him, supposedly everything that happens is good for me. I hate myself. How to love myself. I can’t yet I have to keep going 😞 I’m supposed to be grateful. But I hate myself. 

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11 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Yes, I understand how stressful this is. When you say away, do you mean in hospital? Worse case scenario, could your wife get you to settlement while/if you were away? I found comfort in thinking that family could take over if I became too incapacitated to pack... 

In the end, I got it done anyway. Now I'm just waiting. We have long delays for all sorts of reasons and no offers I've made have been accepted.... I may be forced out of ownership at this rate. I'm almost resigned to the fact... 

Today, I'm tired as I spent a lot of the night worrying 🤪 but I'll do my best to make the most of the sun. 

Hope your day goes well 😎

 

Try to stay towards ownership as long as you can, here in the states the market is beginning to turn for the good of the buyer a bit, 

Had a fair day packing stuff, mostly never unpacked from last move to the temporary place in November, 

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Yeah ownership is hard maybe one of the hardest things I've ever done because everything that comes up you have to take care of it but it's mine so I take care of it and take pride in it.  This is the first place I've ever loved.  This place probably saved my life.

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On 4/15/2022 at 4:38 AM, Extremebeginner said:

Sorry to see you back with the same old crowd around you. I stay away from all platforms except df, everybody out there is only seeking your attention with dramatic content and claims. Either stay on the fun stuff, cooking, or whatever it may be for you, or just stay on df with a little Candy crush maybe. Go for a walk, take a deep breath and let us know what you’ve been up to. Hugs

Thanks for your reply. I’ve been trying to get rid of depression in different ways but seems it always come back so I guess I just have to learn to live with it. Thanks for hug. I really needed it! ((Hugs back))

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15 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

I don’t know why I’m still in this marriage. I’m so alone. He obviously doesn’t love me anymore. I’m still living in his mum’s house, and she obviously hates me. For my daughter? Is it worth it? Do I still love him or is it all an act? I’m so hurt whenever he says he don’t love me. Do I not appreciate everything he has done for me? I feel I can’t go on anymore; I don’t want to go on anymore. I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate saving money for a house that is not build yet. Yet I still have to keep going. I hate God. I’m raised to believe in Him, supposedly everything that happens is good for me. I hate myself. How to love myself. I can’t yet I have to keep going 😞 I’m supposed to be grateful. But I hate myself. 

Sorry to hear you are dealing with  so much. If he is actually saying he doesn’t love you, then that is sounding like your marriage is over. Counselling may help with the actual breakup if it is unretrieavable. I know this will sound repetitive but you have to look after yourself first, and a breakup may strangely assist with this. The other details, custody, construction etc will wash out in the talks that lead to divorce, but you will know that they are the practical side. The emotional side will be dealt with.

DG, dont hate yourself, it seems others are trying to make it seem your fault. I’m not judging, but its not all your fault. The relationship isn't working and that means both of you and the external influences all come into play. Make the decision to leave him, the dynamics will change and you will be able to be free to make the necessary decisions for you. Wont be easy but you will be moving forward, hopefully to a place where you start to feel good about yourself again.

i speak with experience in a hard relationship break up. This is your life, you need to live it following your beliefs and values, to get your head above water. Hugs

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So I got rejected for a freaking house share because I don't have a job 😳 I mean I couldn't ask for less when it comes to accommodation. And it was a no. Its a bloody good job I wasn't counting on that. 

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4 hours ago, Nightjar said:

So I got rejected for a freaking house share because I don't have a job 😳 I mean I couldn't ask for less when it comes to accommodation. And it was a no. Its a bloody good job I wasn't counting on that. 

Rejected by the bank or the seller, how bizarre!

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