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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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1 hour ago, Extremebeginner said:

Well I need your hugs not just today but going forward too. It is very tough to see a way forward at points but things can change positively and quickly. Try not to think about giving up but changing something. Remember this is an illness affecting our brain, and we are conditioned to believe our brains…. Its hard to imagine a better life or place but maybe you can think of it as possible

Am in a very dark place right now it’s a good thing I don’t live alone 

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4 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Let the person you live with know what you are going through right now, if they dont already. You need to have somebody close to you physically, who can at least accept what is happening.

Everyone knows no one understands well one does 

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Up in the wee hours of the morning.

I have an assignment I want to finish, but gotta go with my brother to the hospital this morning.  He would never go with me or care about me if I was in his shoes.  But he was really sick recently..  And I have that caretaker personality.

Make sure my nephew gets safely to school.  

I could cry all day if I had the energy. So, that's how I feel right now.

Wait, i did have some prayers answered.  I'm just needing that extra oophmf.  Now I"m rambling.  😕

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I had one of those nights last night... I was trying everything to get off to sleep.... Hypnosis, meditation, etc etc.. I eventually got to sleep when everyone in the apartment block started waking up and making loads of noise.... So today may be a tricky one to get through. I don't have too much to get done but there's a family thing this eve I may bow out of 🤔

Wishing everyone a good day 🌻

Edited by Nightjar
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Yeah it's one of those days where I say I'm not sure if I slept great!😒There's nothing I can do about it.  There's nothing worse than having someone in your house.  I guess the only thing I can really to do is dress like a bear when he comes then he won't be thinking about how much of a mess the place is.  He'll be focused on the weirdo dressed like a bear.🤔

Edited by sober4life
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Good morning everyone 😀

A special Good morning to Nightjar 😁

It is 5 am Tuesday morning and I am about to go to bed.  Earlier I slept for three hours then woke up and did some chores. 

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12 minutes ago, sober4life said:

Yeah it's one of those days where I say I'm not sure if I slept great!😒There's nothing I can do about it.  There's nothing worse than having someone in your house.  I guess the only thing I can really to do is dress like a bear when he comes then he won't be thinking about how much of a mess the place is.  He'll be focused on the weirdo dressed like a bear.🤔

Who's coming today sober? 🤔

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22 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Who's coming today sober? 🤔

The man that's going to install the windows.  I just had my deer friends clean up outside.  They get so close if the wall didn't exist I could reach out and touch them.  They do such a good job out there they probably make it so I have to mow about 3 times less a year.

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17 minutes ago, sober4life said:

The man that's going to install the windows.  I just had my deer friends clean up outside.  They get so close if the wall didn't exist I could reach out and touch them.  They do such a good job out there they probably make it so I have to mow about 3 times less a year.

Wow, I've gotta get me some of those 😁 I seriously need to mow my lawn.... I'm losing motivation with it 😬

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15 hours ago, evalynn said:

Trapped in a brain fog. I been feeling foggy a lot lately, which I guess is an improvement over barely being able to keep my eyes open, but in a way is less enjoyable. I'm awake but my mind can't focus on anything. I'm bored but too tired and lazy to do anything. I don't know how to snap out of it. 

I don't know, maybe the coffee is hurting rather than helping. It's one of my little daily rituals that I actually enjoy lately though. Maybe I should replace it with herbal tea. 

Good to see you evalynn... I don't know if coffee helps brain fog or not 🤔 Maybe cut down a little bit and see if you feel any better? 

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Hey guys, hope y'all are having a good day. I'm guessing you might be coz its quite quiet here 🤔

Anyways, I didn't get the house I offered on... I'm not all that upset about it though. I would much prefer to be in a quieter spot 🤔

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Got to leave the house on a weekday so even though it was for a short time…that is enough to at least make me feel a tiny bit better. Could be why I got a bit more work done today too knowing I was going to go out.  The workload is still a mess though and no closer to being sorted out but that is up to my boss as I don’t have the desire or motivation to care about it or want to help.

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On 4/5/2022 at 12:07 AM, monicott17 said:

It is available…but not certain I would qualify for several reasons. I used to be able to handle things and multitask…pretty well actually but the combo of working from home and the workload being a sloppy, disorganized mess has ruined that. I also don’t really feel any connection to my co-workers or boss or care much about the company as a whole. Management isn’t really friendly or responsive and plays favorites for sure.

Still better to try qualifying than getting fired for physical violence towards coworkers' necks

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Well went to the dentist today got a tooth pulled hurts like you wouldn’t believe but it’s better then that tooth hurting 

i feel like am on to much meds can’t tell if it’s a bad or good thing yet waiting for my body to get use to it

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Morning everybody. I don't know what happened last night... I looked at the clock at 4am and then looked again and it was 7...I don't know if I was awake between those hours or not. Very strange. Anyway, tired today but I'm hoping I'll feel well enough to enjoy a day out. 

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That's how it is for me every night.  I could really say I'm not sure if I slept or not every night because I have no focus at all really.  I think I'm still here because of my manic episodes.  The episodes take a half dead mind and body along for the ride whether it wants to go or not.

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On 4/4/2022 at 12:23 PM, sober4life said:

The sad answer is the entire time humans have existed they have made society think certain people are a danger to the rest of society so they can justify locking them away somewhere and making money from it.  It's not just mental health.  It's the prison system and nursing homes as well.

yeah but people with mental illness is shown as worse

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32 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

yeah but people with mental illness is shown as worse

Believe me I know how you feel.  Mental illness is really the only medical condition where you have to pretend it doesn't exist as much as you possibly can.  Every time anyone has asked me how are you?  I've said I'm ok and lied about it every time.  It's absurd!  If I have a broken arm or broken leg I sure don't have to grimace and use them anyway.  It's why I'm moving toward going off the grid because I can be myself here.

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How do I feel right now?  at this moment, very sad, as my cat that I had for 14 years died on Sunday.  I did some research and it looks like that the steroid which literally kept him alive for I guess the last 6 years, may have also worn away his muscles which led to his constant falling and his eventual passing.  I guess.

Makes me feel less guilty, as i feared the steroids killed his heart, but it didnt.  I guess i did the best i could, as i listened to the doctors and constantly sought updated advice as how to help him best.  i asked soo many questions, and did what they said.  drove hundreds of miles trying to find his special food.

 

i miss him a ton, sometimes i feel like im dieing on the inside, but each day is a little better.

hopefully by this weekend ill feel almost normal.  we will see.  trying hard to NOT look at photos of him.

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