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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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Work is likely going to be a nightmare this week and given my current high levels of anxiety and depression combined with my total lack of motivation…I have no idea how I am going to handle it.  My family is not really helpful or supportive in any meaningful way either. 

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36 minutes ago, monicott17 said:

Work is likely going to be a nightmare this week and given my current high levels of anxiety and depression combined with my total lack of motivation…I have no idea how I am going to handle it.  My family is not really helpful or supportive in any meaningful way either. 

Gah. What a horrible situation to be in. All I can say is, I'm very familiar with all aspects of it.

Hope it gets better for you soon.

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I actually had a good day last Monday. Most things went my way and I got things accomplished. I went to bed pleased.

BIG MISTAKE

The rest of the week was one long avalanche of sh!t that just wouldn't stop. I'm buried underneath a massive pile and I don't know how (or even if) I'm going to climb out of it.

The moral of the story is never think stuff might be going your way. It isn't.

Edited by JD4010
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I know how you feel.  I'm given something good in life as a trick.  It's bait in a trap.  That's all it is and every time I get caught in the trap.  I believe other people get good things and have good days and that's it.  For me it's meant as something to lure me into a trap.

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2 hours ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Yes nothing is helping 

Sorry to hear that. Try this breathing technique if you like.

breath in through deep the nose to a count of 4.

hold it for 4 and then exhale, fully for 6.

repeat twice…. It can help

hugs in abundance

 

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29 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

I actually had a good day last Monday. Most things went my way and I got things accomplished. I went to bed pleased.

BIG MISTAKE

The rest of the week was one long avalanche of sh!t that just wouldn't stop. I'm buried underneath a massive pile and I don't know how (or even if) I'm going to climb out of it.

The moral of the story is never think stuff might be going your way. It isn't.

Reminded me of this parable, taken from the internet 

Once upon a time, there was a little sparrow who decided to be different from all the other birds by not flying south for winter. Needless to say, it soon got so cold that the little bird reluctantly started south anyway. As he flew along, the little bird grew cold and ice formed on his wings which caused him to fall to the ground in a barnyard. A cow wandered by and shit on him. This may seem terrible, but it warmed the poor bird and thawed the ice so that the bird began to chirp and sing. A cat wandered by, heard the noise, and dug through the manure until he found the bird and ate him. The moral of this story is:

  1. Being different makes you cold, lonely, and gets you shit on.

  2. Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.

  3. Everyone who digs you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.

  4. If you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.

 

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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

My life story is doing my best every day but my best not being good enough.  It's a life spent in quicksand.  I can fight enough to have my head out so I can breathe.  Maybe I should just quit fighting.

Yes, it's sort of like impostor syndrome in my case, except what if I'm a real impostor? One can only wish for better luck in terms of genetics and whatever else produced one's talents and abilities (or lack thereof).

Nonetheless, there's always the hope you can find something where you're better than everyone else. I'm still searching! If it exists, let's hope it can be found before it no longer matters.

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35 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

The moral of the story is never think stuff might be going your way. It isn't.

Yes, it's unfortunate, but anything seeming to go my way is always highly suspect. It's more a source of anxiety than happiness. Many would say just go with the flow and take the good with the bad, except the good tends to be false hope and the bad tends to blindside.

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3 hours ago, monicott17 said:

Work is likely going to be a nightmare this week and given my current high levels of anxiety and depression combined with my total lack of motivation…I have no idea how I am going to handle it.

Is disability available where you live? Working is only suitable for people who can multitask multiple "most urgent top" priorities under pressure in a fast-paced environment

Edited by iWantRope
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i am beginning to think that some of this is by design - that some of us were essentially thrown out of life without our knowledge.  That some of us may have been isolated by others choices, that we were not aware of .  That maybe, just maybe, the paranoia is justified, and it really did happen to us.  I am beginning to think that therapists, counselors, and others really are the enemy, and that it was by their instruction to our loved ones, that so many of us have found ourselves isolated, alone, and without hope.  It is so, very, wrong.  

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Just wanted to say thank you all for being you and a hug for anyone who needs it 

am close to ending it all talked to a friend didn’t help talked to one more friend didn’t help talked to crisis didn’t help I just don’t know what am going to do therapist isn’t in the office tomorrow or Tuesday so that’s out just talked to the med doctor got med changes I can’t handle this like seriously what’s the point

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19 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Hugs duck.. How are you doin? 🤔

Good morning Nightjar!  Good morning everyone!  😀

I hope you get a house soon.  I am filling out this complex form insurance sent me.  I will take a break and go to bed now.  4:30 am Monday morning my time.  

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2 hours ago, duck said:

Good morning Nightjar!  Good morning everyone!  😀

I hope you get a house soon.  I am filling out this complex form insurance sent me.  I will take a break and go to bed now.  4:30 am Monday morning my time.  

Wow, that was. 12pm my time 🤔

Thanks for the good wishes.. Hope your form gets done soon and you can put your feet up 🏝️

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I'm feeling better today.  Tomorrow they are coming here to give me estimates for the windows I need replaced.  I told my brother it shows how much I hate people being here when the one window wasn't even shutting all the way all the years I've been here.  I've had it covered with tape and sheet plastic all these years.:ermm:

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41 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I'm feeling better today.  Tomorrow they are coming here to give me estimates for the windows I need replaced.  I told my brother it shows how much I hate people being here when the one window wasn't even shutting all the way all the years I've been here.  I've had it covered with tape and sheet plastic all these years.:ermm:

Yeah, done that once then switched to shrink film and just left it on forever

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10 hours ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Just wanted to say thank you all for being you and a hug for anyone who needs it 

am close to ending it all talked to a friend didn’t help talked to one more friend didn’t help talked to crisis didn’t help I just don’t know what am going to do therapist isn’t in the office tomorrow or Tuesday so that’s out just talked to the med doctor got med changes I can’t handle this like seriously what’s the point

I know that feeling,  do what you need to do to stay well, even if that means going to the hospital 

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16 hours ago, iWantRope said:

Is disability available where you live? Working is only suitable for people who can multitask multiple "most urgent top" priorities under pressure in a fast-paced environment

It is available…but not certain I would qualify for several reasons. I used to be able to handle things and multitask…pretty well actually but the combo of working from home and the workload being a sloppy, disorganized mess has ruined that. I also don’t really feel any connection to my co-workers or boss or care much about the company as a whole. Management isn’t really friendly or responsive and plays favorites for sure.

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19 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I actually had a good day last Monday. Most things went my way and I got things accomplished. I went to bed pleased.

BIG MISTAKE

The rest of the week was one long avalanche of sh!t that just wouldn't stop. I'm buried underneath a massive pile and I don't know how (or even if) I'm going to climb out of it.

The moral of the story is never think stuff might be going your way. It isn't.

I can definitely relate. It seems for me if there is one thing that is ven remotely good…there is 4 or 5 bad things right along with it. Especially of late…nothing seems to be going right for me.

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27 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

why are we seen like a danger to society? 😰

The sad answer is the entire time humans have existed they have made society think certain people are a danger to the rest of society so they can justify locking them away somewhere and making money from it.  It's not just mental health.  It's the prison system and nursing homes as well.

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I'm struggling this eve. I've had yet another email to say that things haven't been resolved with my sale and time is running out. I'm worried again that the whole thing will fall through.. I have a whole new crop of grey hairs from all of this and if it was any easier I'd be sorely tempted to rent.... But that doesn't seem any easier!! 

Maybe I should find a nice little cave somewhere... On top of that, I'm just tired... Sleep wasn't great last night and the news etc was very depressing this eve. 

Still, wishing you all a better time of it and sincerely hope you are having a better afternoon/evening 🙏

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Trapped in a brain fog. I been feeling foggy a lot lately, which I guess is an improvement over barely being able to keep my eyes open, but in a way is less enjoyable. I'm awake but my mind can't focus on anything. I'm bored but too tired and lazy to do anything. I don't know how to snap out of it. 

I don't know, maybe the coffee is hurting rather than helping. It's one of my little daily rituals that I actually enjoy lately though. Maybe I should replace it with herbal tea. 

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I guess that's how coffee affects me too.  It doesn't make me better mentally really.  It just makes it so I have to go while I'm in bad shape so I make mistakes all the time and wonder what I did earlier today or yesterday.  What happened to this or that all the time.  It's faster stumbling around the house.

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17 hours ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Just wanted to say thank you all for being you and a hug for anyone who needs it 

am close to ending it all talked to a friend didn’t help talked to one more friend didn’t help talked to crisis didn’t help I just don’t know what am going to do therapist isn’t in the office tomorrow or Tuesday so that’s out just talked to the med doctor got med changes I can’t handle this like seriously what’s the point

Well I need your hugs not just today but going forward too. It is very tough to see a way forward at points but things can change positively and quickly. Try not to think about giving up but changing something. Remember this is an illness affecting our brain, and we are conditioned to believe our brains…. Its hard to imagine a better life or place but maybe you can think of it as possible

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