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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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34 minutes ago, Extremebeginner said:

I look back at my childhood, quite aways back now and dream of going back to when I was 10 or twelve, hanging around with friends, with a bike and a ball, staying out until it was too dark and then some, having fun. The only thing needing charging or connecting was me. There might have been a handwritten message regarding where we would hang out tomorrow. There were still problems back then, bullying, fighting, little gangs etc but it wasn't driven by money, it was about who was the ‘hardest’. We had fun, now I fear the problems have worsened, across more competitive platforms, humans stopped having fun, and became greedy or left behind

Is my thinking misguided

I don't think your thinking is misguided...I tend to see things the same way. Some of it is probably nostalgia, but life was certainly simpler in those days. I miss just hanging out with friends and doing things together.

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15 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Did you change meds recently? They put me on a sleeping pill which gave me the sweats,  headaches, nightmares, like i never had before. Some meds are intolerable for some people, just thought i would mention my experience there……

Same meds.   No change.  I have been on the same meds for five years.  
 

How are you doing?  

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I spend the whole day sleeping.  So tired.   I finally got up around 5 pm and phoned my internet provider for a discount.   The rep reduced my monthly bill from $147 to $74 plus taxes.    I am happy about this.  

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Well I'm not doing too bad. I don't like this patchy sleep that I've been having but I guess I'll take it over no sleep 🤔

I had a bad taste in my mouth last night after spending time with moody, negative relatives. I would go so far as to say they were spitting poison they were so bitter. Yuk.

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Yeah a lot of my party was me sitting here watching tv like I usually would while they were all arguing about politics and religion at the table.  Me I was watching the Smurfs.  I don't just look back at my childhood.  I play the part of an adult for as little time as I possibly can and then get back to acting like a child as soon as I can.  Maybe I should go back to the park and play basketball this year.  Who says I can't?  

Edited by sober4life
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Just woke up.   I called my aunt in Ohio and wished her happy birthday.  Then I called my friend Greg and wished him the same.   
I still feel awful.  I don’t want to speak to anyone.   I cancelled my therapist appointment for Monday.  I don’t want to speak to her either because therapists do absolutely nothing.   
Snowstorm here.  Spring was here last week now it’s winter again.    
 

Hugs for anyone who needs one. 

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@duck

Sorry to hear that you still feel awful. I have to say that I agree with you about therapists. I think most of the time they have more problems than we do and a superiority complex to boot 🤔

I know some people find them helpful and I expect there are some brilliant therapists out there but I suspect most of them are a bit crap. Lol 😂

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It messes with me big time because there is always a lot bothering me and others all others in real life never seem to change no matter what's going on but they're just playing the same acting game I am.  I don't know which way I really want things to be.  Everyone is fake all the time.  Would it be better if everyone was completely honest all the time?  I think maybe we've gone too far in our existence with everyone putting on a show that if everyone became their full selves all the time tomorrow the shock would be too extreme to handle.🤔

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I swear the pain is to bad right now I feel so alone and dune I can’t handle this I been taking ativan to help deal with the pain doctor isn’t going to be happy about it maybe she should have called Thursday she’s damn lucky I don’t live alone

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3 hours ago, anon22ae said:

Wishing I could be out of the rat race so that Monday would be just a day, as opposed to something to dread every week.

I wish you win the lottery and you get out of the rat race.  Did you know most heart-attacks occur on Sunday nights?  People don't want to go to work hell the next day.

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6 hours ago, watalife said:

Still coughing from the dusty vacuum explosion this morning. 

Hope you feel better soon.  That's a lot of dust.   

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7 hours ago, anon22ae said:

Wishing I could be out of the rat race so that Monday would be just a day, as opposed to something to dread every week.

I hear you! Sunday nights are some of the worst anxiety times I have. And I know for most, Sundays are supposed to be a fun, relaxing day but it isn’t for me because the dread and anxiety begins to creep in and ruins it.

Today is already off to a not so great start and yes, the coffee tasting awful is a reason why. It is the little things that irk me so much.

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Sunday nights suck. They are actually Monday eve. So we essentially have Saturday for our weekend, and then Monday eve, where anxiety increases throughout the day because of the dread of Monday. Wage slavery.

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I don't think I ever sat in peace.  I can stand to sit here for about 30 seconds before my mind goes off a cliff and makes me miserable.  Then all of my dreams are me trying to get home to mom.

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I've had a pretty good day by myself but this evening has been slow torture, like being stretched out on a rack 🤔

I'm still waiting for my house sale to be finalised and to find out if I'm a step closer to freedom from this. I had to bite down on my lip hard this evening because the insults and bitter sarcasm hurled my way were relentless... At one point I was just looking at narc mom and thinking 'You are horrible.' Yep,  I was pretty much seething with resentment. 

Ugh,  it's not a nice feeling. 

Fingers crossed that I may catch a break soon 🙏

Hugs for everyone and a good night 😘

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Up, down, happy, sad - totally messed up.

It's been just over two weeks since I was told my ex has passed away.

Separated for just over three years, haven't spoken with her at all in that time - divorce was getting ugly as they just kept asking for more spousal support. 

I thought I had cried all I could after the Separation, but now that she is gone the grief is overwhelming.

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44 minutes ago, user1492 said:

Up, down, happy, sad - totally messed up.

It's been just over two weeks since I was told my ex has passed away.

Separated for just over three years, haven't spoken with her at all in that time - divorce was getting ugly as they just kept asking for more spousal support. 

I thought I had cried all I could after the Separation, but now that she is gone the grief is overwhelming.

Sorry to hear you are going through a difficult time.  we are here for you.  Post as often as you wish. 

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