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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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12 hours ago, monicott17 said:

I honestly do not know if therapy will end up working for me in the long run but for right now, it is one of the few things keeping me going. My current therapist is good and is really the only person I can talk openly with…without being mocked or judged. He’s given me the time and space I need to decide about meds and isn’t pushy in any way. I think my current miserable work and living situation is why I keep at it but I am not sure if things were even slightly better on those fronts if therapy would be worth it. There are many things that I am a “lost cause” on and  cannot be fixed by therapy or anything really. One, in particular has haunted me nearly all my life but I can’t/won’t talk about it for a number of reasons.

Can you apply for Short Term Disability/Long Term Disability?  Having said that being on disability have it’s own set of problems.   You have to beg doctors and therapists to fill forms on a regular basis and the insurance company which pays you will harass you for the first five years.   

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10 hours ago, duck said:

Can you apply for Short Term Disability/Long Term Disability?  Having said that being on disability have it’s own set of problems.   You have to beg doctors and therapists to fill forms on a regular basis and the insurance company which pays you will harass you for the first five years.   

Not sure I would qualify for a number of reasons. The thought of quitting my job has been creeping into my mind more and more of late. I could do it without having another job lined up and be okay for a bit. That is a big decision though and I struggle with even the smallest of decisions plus I don’t really have any support or anyone to confide in. My job is terrible and my motivation is virtually non-exsistent so something has got to give here.

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Well maybe someday I can get through the day without some kind of problem or distraction that completely ruins my mood and concentration. Today’s was particularly bothersome and is something I know I will dwell on for awhile because nothing is going to be said about it and because it involves people I see on a regular basis and who I at least felt comfortable around and mostly enjoyed their company. Guess the feeling was not mutual. 😢 

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I'm paranoid so at first being on my own I think everyone is watching.  Nobody is watching unless maybe if I'm dancing naked in front of the window.  I'm on my own for the rest of this so what do I want to do?  You know what's worse believing everyone is watching or knowing nobody is watching?

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I'm paranoid so at first being on my own I think everyone is watching.  Nobody is watching unless maybe if I'm dancing naked in front of the window.  I'm on my own for the rest of this so what do I want to do?  You know what's worse believing everyone is watching or knowing nobody is watching?

If you know you are paranoid, are you really paranoid? 🤔

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43 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Goodnight loves 😘

Good night Nightjar !

 I just got up.  Headache and sweating all night.   Third night in row.  I am worried about this. Sweating and headaches could be a sign of a impending heart attack.  I saw my doctor two weeks ago and my bp was okay.  Who knows.   Maybe I will feel better as the day goes on.   Spring is here. We have had a full week of sunshine.  

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Hey duck. Try not to worry yourself more than necessary, I hear what you are saying but there are other possible causes too. Anxiety being an obvious one, just trying to put your mind at ease. You know if you tap your phone hard five times I think, then it will auto call 911. Maybe somebody can correct me on this tip??

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2 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Hey duck. Try not to worry yourself more than necessary, I hear what you are saying but there are other possible causes too. Anxiety being an obvious one, just trying to put your mind at ease. You know if you tap your phone hard five times I think, then it will auto call 911. Maybe somebody can correct me on this tip??

Thanks Extremebeginner!   I am still feeling sick.  No energy and extreme exhaustion. This is different from anything I have experienced before.   How are you doing?   Tell me some exciting stories if you have any 😀

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19 minutes ago, duck said:

Thanks Extremebeginner!   I am still feeling sick.  No energy and extreme exhaustion. This is different from anything I have experienced before.   How are you doing?   Tell me some exciting stories if you have any 😀

Nothing too exciting, but I do remember stepping out of an aircraft in Grande Prairie and wondering if the pilot has landed at the North Pole by mistake. I remember being thankful for a safe landing in the blizzard and -40 deg temperature, but then wishing we had turned around and gone south…. Lol

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5 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Nothing too exciting, but I do remember stepping out of an aircraft in Grande Prairie and wondering if the pilot has landed at the North Pole by mistake. I remember being thankful for a safe landing in the blizzard and -40 deg temperature, but then wishing we had turned around and gone south…. Lol

Thank you for that story.  It make me smile.  😁BTW Grand Prairie is a five hour drive from where I live.    Unfortunately,   I have never been there.  

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5 hours ago, sober4life said:

It was exciting when I saw 2 ducks on my walk instead of one today which means baby ducks are coming.  I know this is what I'm thinking about on a Friday night?🥱

Thank you Sober !  I love ducks.   We used to have them when I was a kid. 😀

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21 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I haven't been doing well at all lately.  Am I well enough to do this life on my own?  Nope but you never say that.  You just keep going until it all blows up in your face.

We are well enough until we are not.

the present moment is particularly hard, even the mentally fut are suffering with covid, politics, police overreach, war, inflation etc. dont give up hope that this wont change, it will. 
i feel low since Christmas and many others I know face to face, are struggling. Together we all have each others back

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On 3/18/2022 at 2:00 PM, Nightjar said:

If you know you are paranoid, are you really paranoid? 🤔

Probably, but you're not paranoid if everyone is really out to get you. This also brings to mind the notion that you can't have impostor syndrome if you're a real impostor, as in my case...

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Yeah the people that make it through this year will survive this nightmare.  Maybe there's just a time where I say I don't want to do this anymore.  Yeah next year about this time if I'm still alive I'll probably make it.  Sure I'll be covered in boot prints and tire tracks from all of the big businesses barely breathing in a ditch but hey I'm here.  Why do I even want to be a part of a world that's so evil?

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I look back at my childhood, quite aways back now and dream of going back to when I was 10 or twelve, hanging around with friends, with a bike and a ball, staying out until it was too dark and then some, having fun. The only thing needing charging or connecting was me. There might have been a handwritten message regarding where we would hang out tomorrow. There were still problems back then, bullying, fighting, little gangs etc but it wasn't driven by money, it was about who was the ‘hardest’. We had fun, now I fear the problems have worsened, across more competitive platforms, humans stopped having fun, and became greedy or left behind

Is my thinking misguided

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22 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Nothing too exciting, but I do remember stepping out of an aircraft in Grande Prairie and wondering if the pilot has landed at the North Pole by mistake. I remember being thankful for a safe landing in the blizzard and -40 deg temperature, but then wishing we had turned around and gone south…. Lol

Sounds like stepping into heaven to me. 🙂

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