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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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Annoyed. I'm been feeling annoyed all day and I've been ruminating and verbally eviscerating obnoxious people in my head all day. Some days I just feel like I really hate people, but I don't feel obligated to educated every ignorant or irritating person I have the misfortune to come upon. 

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Yeah at a time when they're finally admitting there are aliens I know they are lying because we don't even want to be here.  All they would have to do is turn on the tv to any channel or go on social media for 10 minutes and they would say nope I'm not going there.

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Really down…going to be a long day. I haven’t been doing well of late and we just got a dose of winter..very cold and snow and I don’t handle that well to begin with so on top of all my other misery…ugh!

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2 hours ago, monicott17 said:

Really down…going to be a long day. I haven’t been doing well of late and we just got a dose of winter..very cold and snow and I don’t handle that well to begin with so on top of all my other misery…ugh!

sorry you're feeling so down, been right there with you the past month or so, as far as the snow we are getting our first of the year today maybe 10 inches but i'm ok with that, keep your head up and keep plugging away

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Feel like I'm not getting anywhere with things today... Lots to do for a second viewing but it's hard to keep everything clean when you're using it 😬 

Tired and irritable & lots to do = eurgh. 

Edited by Nightjar
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5 hours ago, monicott17 said:

Really down…going to be a long day. I haven’t been doing well of late and we just got a dose of winter..very cold and snow and I don’t handle that well to begin with so on top of all my other misery…ugh!

Sorry to hear.  I hope things improve for you soon.   I hate winter especially when it gets very cold and tons of snow.   

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2 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Feel like I'm not getting anywhere with things today... Lots to do for a second viewing but it's hard to keep everything clean when you're using it 😬 

Tired and irritable & lots to do = eurgh. 

Hope the showing went okay 👍 

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1 hour ago, duck said:

Hope the showing went okay 👍 

Thanks, it's not till Thursday but I always start prepping days in advance. I'm moving out for two days now that I've cleaned everything 😂 Everything has to be immaculate ✨

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52 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Thanks, it's not till Thursday but I always start prepping days in advance. I'm moving out for two days now that I've cleaned everything 😂 Everything has to be immaculate ✨

It sounds like a nightmare.  If I was looking at a house would I expect everything to be perfect?  Of course not.  Would I think they would expect everything to be perfect?  No but it would be so hard to ever stop my mind.  People walk into a house and see things they like and also see possiblilities for the future and they're going to see that whether there are some dirty dishes or whatever else but it's so hard.  Mom and I got lucky selling the last house.  Someone helping us move furniture to this place pretty much agreed to buy the old house out of the blue.  It was completely unexpected.  We got so lucky.  Anyway I'm proud of you for all the work you have put into getting your independence.  I hope you get a wonderful house out in the country like this place.

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10 minutes ago, sober4life said:

It sounds like a nightmare.  If I was looking at a house would I expect everything to be perfect?  Of course not.  Would I think they would expect everything to be perfect?  No but it would be so hard to ever stop my mind.  People walk into a house and see things they like and also see possiblilities for the future and they're going to see that whether there are some dirty dishes or whatever else but it's so hard.  Mom and I got lucky selling the last house.  Someone helping us move furniture to this place pretty much agreed to buy the old house out of the blue.  It was completely unexpected.  We got so lucky.  Anyway I'm proud of you for all the work you have put into getting your independence.  I hope you get a wonderful house out in the country like this place.

Thanks sober. Yes, its been such a long old road.... It would be so good to get it done and dusted. And to stop dusting lol... I would say that in the UK when you show a house it is expected to be immaculate. We are perhaps on our own with that one. The Englishman's home is his castle and all that and.... SPOTLESS ✨✨✨

It's time for me to get ready for bed now and it makes me so uncomfortable to know that the neighbours are likely to be angry at me for running taps etc. Not that its late, its only 22:20 but they get up really early. Its hard. Anyway, I'm staying at mom's for a couple of nights from tomorrow which will give me a bit of space from it. 

Nite all 😘

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I made the same mistake everyone else in my family made.  I pushed myself as hard as I could for my whole life and now I'm rundown completely.  All of my joints feel worn out.  My back is gone.  I don't know.  I try to keep some hope but I don't have much that's for sure.

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On 1/2/2022 at 5:04 PM, duck said:

I went to Costco this morning. It was very busy.  Parking was difficult to find and carts were unavailable.  I still enjoyed it.  
 

Then we went to Wendy’s for breakfast 😀

I’m so jealous, all our stores were forced closed Sunday…. I think Wendy’s was open though….

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I’m having a bit of a meltdown at the moment. And again it is a bunch of small things (including my extreme weather OCD) that has triggered me this time. And I am on my own because I can’t talk to anyone other than my therapist because no one close to me gets it…they might act like they care and throw out a bunch of empty words and pladitudes which feel pretty pointless and hurt more than they help most of the time. 

 

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I’ve been dealing with a lot of existential dread. This existential crisis is really robbing me of sleep and just living life. My depersonalization has also gotten worse. I just feel like I’m hanging by a thread 😞 

im trying to save up money so I can see a physicist and get medicine and some therapy. I just wanna live like a normal personal. Idk why dying and loosing a love one keeps me up so much. We all age, we all experience lose and are going to die one day. Those are all the common experience of being human. For some reason it just makes me feel so alone and awful. 

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11 hours ago, sober4life said:

I made the same mistake everyone else in my family made.  I pushed myself as hard as I could for my whole life and now I'm rundown completely.  All of my joints feel worn out.  My back is gone.  I don't know.  I try to keep some hope but I don't have much that's for sure.

The body can fix itself, or so we're told... I don't understand how some people get stronger the harder they push, while others wear out. It's not even clear they do anything differently, as with long-distance runners (some of whom have the knee cartilage of teenagers and others that of 100-year olds).

There are probably ways to push your hardest in a "good" way to undo damage. Maybe this differs from person to person. I've no idea whether anyone really knows, though a physical therapist might be someone good to ask.

 

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My issue is I've always felt the same age so I've always acted the same age.  If there is work to be done I jump into it full tilt until it's done like I'm still 18.  Other people see that too.  Oh he will do it and they use me into the ground.  I am basically someone that will do absolutely anything myself if possible.  I never hire anyone for anything unless it's a last resort.  Maybe there is a point where I need to be smart and realize I can't do everything on my own anymore.

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I am having breakfast at 2 pm Tuesday.   I am trying to take it easy.  The extreme cold weather and covid is keeping me indoors.  

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I had a good day today once I'd got started. Before that I was wondering how I was gonna get anything done.... Felt low on energy.. Anyway, somehow managed to pull it together and get some yard work done..Also went to therapy which I'm enjoying a bit more after my trust issues eased a bit 😂

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I went to the BMV to get my yearly sticker for the car.  I swear every time I go there there is someone that smells like they've been drinking alcohol for a week.  It amazes me you would go there like that?

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Tired. Got my second viewing tomorrow. Got a few jobs to do at the house. Maybe if I get them done earlyish I can get myself to the park for half an hour/an hour today 🤔

Could do with a really good rest day with nothing to do.. I'll try and rest more tomorrow. 

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