duck Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 18 hours ago, anon22ae said: Happy holidays to all... whether it be Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or even winter solstice celebration! May 2022 and after be happier (or at least less painful) than 2021 and before. Thank you! I text and called a few relatives for Christmas. I hope everyone is doing well. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evalynn Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 Cowardly. I told myself I'd call my aunt and great uncle yesterday, and talked myself out of it when the time came. And I'll probably not call them on New Year's either, because I absolutely hate calling people--its so awkward and uncomfortable for me, no matter if I know they'd appreciate it. 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 Great uncle so mom or dad's uncle. I don't even have any idea who any of my great uncles are. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DialAForAlan Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 Lost. I want to talk to Alan for hours and hours and hours. Just - be wrapped in his arms while telling him all my secrets and pain and everything in between - knowing for sure he won't reveal any of it to anybody for any reasons whatsoever. ...but I can't and it hurts just as much as knowing he's not around anymore. I know there are a lot of people who talk to their lost loved ones as though they were still alive, but it just wouldn't be the same since I want (or maybe even need) to hear his voice. Voice clips and past interviews only help so much. ...sorry, I know how dumb this is. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 Still having a hard time but am still here do I guess that’s good even though it don’t seem okay to me 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 Very tired and sleepy. Very cold now. My car is not starting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Extremebeginner Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 Its one small thing at a time, so it can be hard to see progress but yes being with us and talking about how crappy you might feel is progress, believe me, and others. We are all here for each other,…. Hugs 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Extremebeginner Posted December 26, 2021 Share Posted December 26, 2021 Just now, duck said: Very tired and sleepy. Very cold now. My car is not starting. Dude, please get out of the car, call 911. We will miss you, your friends or family will too. I’m not suggesting you go jogging to warm up but please get out of car. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted December 27, 2021 Share Posted December 27, 2021 So i need help am really thinking about hurting myself and very paranoid and also have a plan I don’t know what to do no one understands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Extremebeginner Posted December 27, 2021 Share Posted December 27, 2021 CherryApple, please call one of the Suicide Prevention lines, I have used them in the past and they have trained specialist who can assist you in real time to avoid you making a serious decision. They will listen and help you in real time. If you cant find the number for your local organization then 911 will help you get immediate assistance. Which country or state are you in. I’ll find you the number to call. PM me if you need. help is here but can take time to get to you. I don't want to lose anybody at this time of year, it hurts in so many incidious ways. I want to help you. I’m sure others do to. There can be a light at the end of this tunnel. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
monicott17 Posted December 27, 2021 Share Posted December 27, 2021 Not doing well. Demoralized to my core right now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted December 27, 2021 Share Posted December 27, 2021 I feel like the Walmart greeter I saw today. He was waving at everyone with a fake smile and someone asked him how he was doing and he cussed the customer out. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sonrise Posted December 27, 2021 Share Posted December 27, 2021 I feel like crap. Had 3 days off from work to spend Christmas with family. Did just that and met my new one week old grandson too. But here's the rub. I took very little enjoyment out of all of it. It's like I just go through the motions. I'm there and try to act like I'm enjoying myself, but I bet it's pretty obvious that I'm not. Then a little argument with my wife and I'm off the deep end. It's like screw it, I don't even want to be here any more. I don't have the nerve to **** myself although I wish for death almost every day. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted December 27, 2021 Share Posted December 27, 2021 (edited) 22 hours ago, Extremebeginner said: Dude, please get out of the car, call 911. We will miss you, your friends or family will too. I’m not suggesting you go jogging to warm up but please get out of car. Thanks for your support! I am not in the car. I tried to start it but the battery was dead …..some kind of electrical drain issue plus the brutal I am inside Edited December 27, 2021 by duck 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted December 27, 2021 Share Posted December 27, 2021 5 hours ago, sober4life said: I feel like the Walmart greeter I saw today. He was waving at everyone with a fake smile and someone asked him how he was doing and he cussed the customer out. I thought Walmart no longer had greeters. Maybe it’s only in Canada. I guess. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted December 27, 2021 Share Posted December 27, 2021 8 minutes ago, duck said: I thought Walmart no longer had greeters. Maybe it’s only in Canada. I guess. There is someone standing there which is basically the one that's there to stop you if the alarm goes off but some stand there and some say hi. It's right next to the bathroom. I would probably just hide in there if I was the greeter. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon22ae Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 7 hours ago, sober4life said: I feel like the Walmart greeter I saw today. He was waving at everyone with a fake smile and someone asked him how he was doing and he cussed the customer out. You've got to admire his honesty, though! 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evalynn Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 Relieved and annoyed. You know it doesn't take much to stress me out, and my husband thought someone stole mail from our mailbox, which included meds for him and lotion for me. That turned out not to be the case--the mailman put our mail in someone else's box and ours in theirs, which is still pretty annoying. It's not the first time this has happened. 'At least that's over. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surfcaster Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 it feels like my soul is empty, my head is overfull, my heart is broke and i don't want to be here, other than that i'm great 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 On 12/26/2021 at 1:58 PM, DialAForAlan said: Lost. I want to talk to Alan for hours and hours and hours. Just - be wrapped in his arms while telling him all my secrets and pain and everything in between - knowing for sure he won't reveal any of it to anybody for any reasons whatsoever. ...but I can't and it hurts just as much as knowing he's not around anymore. I know there are a lot of people who talk to their lost loved ones as though they were still alive, but it just wouldn't be the same since I want (or maybe even need) to hear his voice. Voice clips and past interviews only help so much. ...sorry, I know how dumb this is. That not dumb I watch YouTube videos that some one in my family posted just to hear her voice and I go to where she is now and talk to her 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 I don't want to go to therapy today and I don't know what to say. I don't want to go anymore. I feel very judged. What do I say in a text? How do I word it? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 18 minutes ago, Nightjar said: I don't want to go to therapy today and I don't know what to say. I don't want to go anymore. I feel very judged. What do I say in a text? How do I word it? Good day Nightjar! Therapy can be difficult. I always feel I am judged so I discuss it with my therapist. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 17 minutes ago, Nightjar said: I don't want to go to therapy today and I don't know what to say. I don't want to go anymore. I feel very judged. What do I say in a text? How do I word it? I don't want to do therapy anymore. I feel very judged. It's time for me to move on. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 (edited) I agree therapy can be difficult. It's like having another family member.. I feel like I'm explaining myself and justifying myself for her benefit when really I just don't wanna discuss certain things. Anyway, I decided I'm going to go today because I said I would and I want to stick to my word. If I'm gonna cancel I can do it with notice so it'll be fairer and less bad karma. If I could have anything from a counsellor I guess it would be unconditional love To be allowed to just be and talk about whatever I want. That's just not gonna happen with your average therapist. I do believe there are some people who can offer that but they are a rare breed. Edited December 28, 2021 by Nightjar 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Epictetus Posted December 28, 2021 Share Posted December 28, 2021 Feeling okay today. Grateful for that. Wish this SARS-CoVID situation would just go away for good. Hugs to everyone here! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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