Jump to content

How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

Recommended Posts

Am not okay family is being umm not understanding how I feel and think I should just stop the feelings of wanting to d** but I still do have those thoughts but it don’t matter I don’t matter I just don’t want to live right now so people don’t have to worry or deal with me anymore 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Very cold lately. I think my heater doesn't work and I was convinced by the maintenance crew that it does. Today I napped for about three hours. I also ate a fair amount. I feel some shame at all this.  I feel vaguely uneasy right about now. Kind of a lump in my throat, but I'm not precisely sure why. Tomorrow was to be for grocery shopping. Now? Hopefully wheelchair maintenance that is now desperately needed after dropping bolts who knows where downtown coming back from the ballet. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am sleeping every two hours.   I wake up and do chores but after two hours I get very tired and have to rest.  I then fall asleep for two hours.   It’s a crazy cycle.   
 

I will be home for Christmas because of COVID and extreme cold weather.   
 

Hugs for those who need one.  
 

Good day Nightjar 😀

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Am not okay family is being umm not understanding how I feel and think I should just stop the feelings of wanting to d** but I still do have those thoughts but it don’t matter I don’t matter I just don’t want to live right now so people don’t have to worry or deal with me anymore 

Family, holidays etc and understanding that sufferring from a mental health problem is a mix that will lead to negative thinking. We will all still worry about you, even your friends here on DF. All you need to do is worry just about yourself, ignore everything anybody else thinks and do small steps that you, just you will enjoy, or at least be distracted. This time of year is challenging, so make sure you eat and drink a little and give yourself credit for getting through each challenge. I feel you can do this, do you think I can help you. Hugs

Link to comment
Share on other sites

26 minutes ago, duck said:

I am sleeping every two hours.   I wake up and do chores but after two hours I get very tired and have to rest.  I then fall asleep for two hours.   It’s a crazy cycle.   
 

I will be home for Christmas because of COVID and extreme cold weather.   
 

Hugs for those who need one.  
 

Good day Nightjar 😀

I’ll take a bro hug, thanks, and send you one back. Im licked down for Christmas again, so will be having a ball. Hope they can keep the electricity on long enough so I can listen to music all day.
Good morning all

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, duck said:

I am sleeping every two hours.   I wake up and do chores but after two hours I get very tired and have to rest.  I then fall asleep for two hours.   It’s a crazy cycle.   
 

I will be home for Christmas because of COVID and extreme cold weather.   
 

Hugs for those who need one.  
 

Good day Nightjar 😀

Good day duck! 😁

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Angry.. I went to bed angry over a late night text from a family member. And I'm angry again today over the same thing.. So angry I'm contemplating cancelling plans for tomorrow with that family member.. I'm tired and stressed. I can't control my anger. 

I hope the sleep will take away your anger. It usually does to me.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 hours ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Am not okay family is being umm not understanding how I feel and think I should just stop the feelings of wanting to d** but I still do have those thoughts but it don’t matter I don’t matter I just don’t want to live right now so people don’t have to worry or deal with me anymore 

I guess we need to worry only about yourself and not worry that others worry about you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Slept (or passed out) in a wrong position and still have ribcage pain... bruised or broken ribs, perhaps, or who knows what. The doctor is out, like all doctors during this time, and urgent care is too expensive... so I guess it'll be interesting over Christmas.

Happy holidays to all (even though it's a day or so early)!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Angry.. I went to bed angry over a late night text from a family member. And I'm angry again today over the same thing.. So angry I'm contemplating cancelling plans for tomorrow with that family member.. I'm tired and stressed. I can't control my anger. 

I know how you feel.  It's very hard to cancel plans with family but it's also very hard to continue down this road of misery we've been on.  We need peace!  We need rest!  The holidays are supposed to be happy not a nightmare!  Sorry I'm angry too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Angry.. I went to bed angry over a late night text from a family member. And I'm angry again today over the same thing.. So angry I'm contemplating cancelling plans for tomorrow with that family member.. I'm tired and stressed. I can't control my anger. 

sorry nightjar,

you can't control what someone else says to you but you can control how you react to it and how angry you let it get you, try not to let their poor communication issue ruin your happiness, let most of it go and don't dwell on it, a week from now nothing said will even matter,  easier said i know but still words to try to live by.

have the best holiday you can my friend, you deserve it

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As usual, I worked myself up into near panic mode, and then everything went fine. So now it's back to worrying about going to my sister's tomorrow night and then my dad's the next morning. It's not that I don't want to spend time with them, it's the driving and the insomnia. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 12/23/2021 at 12:05 AM, cherryapplez2020 said:

Am not okay family is being umm not understanding how I feel and think I should just stop the feelings of wanting to d** but I still do have those thoughts but it don’t matter I don’t matter I just don’t want to live right now so people don’t have to worry or deal with me anymore 

Life is hard enough living with depression, but family can make it worse.  They just don't get it.  And when we try to explain it, they still don't understand. They don't get that we cannot turn off the feelings of depression & wanting to end the pain to because it hurts so bad.  

Families like ours on the forums, understand what we feel because we have also lived the pain you feel.  I think that our biological families don't understand because they are afraid of depression.  They are afraid to acknowledge our feelings & how that will change their own lives. 

My brother has yelled at me the times I have been called to go check on him.  He wants everyone to mind their own business & stop overreacting.  In the past I would've said fine & walked away.  Now each time, I reminded him that people care about him.  I also said that he should be glad that he has friends & family who care because I don't have anyone who sees that pain I live with and all anyone  cares about me is what they can get. 

You are braver & stronger than you think. take care & know that we understand & care about you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I feel good today.  The second covid shot knocked me down pretty hard for a few days but just like it did with my uncle when you finally feel good you feel really good.  I was angry for a few days because I felt like I was trying to do the right thing and still everything was going wrong like usual but I feel good now and I don't regret getting the covid shots.  I want to fight with everything in me and get through these hard times.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My crazy anger subsided but I've been in a hell of a mood today. I attended the family event but I wanted to be there like a hole in the head. I did a fairly long drive today aswell but thankfully I wasn't too anxious.....Hopefully it'll be easier from here though I'm very tired. I hope I don't have to do dishes tomorrow 😭

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...