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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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I have the uncanny ability to spin out even when I am around my support system. Middle of a conversation I will just let my mind go where it goes, thankfully I can control my mouth, so people fell that i disconnect but wouldn’t know for sure. 
maybe I should tell them?, maybe its better they just think Im zoned out. 

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On 12/19/2021 at 5:15 AM, Nightjar said:

Being alone is the worst 😔 Every loss has been more and more painful for me. God knows what will become of me. I hope you're doing better than me today sober. I'm at rock bottom 🥺

Something you & Sober should understand

People will only be around you if you have something they want, or want you to do something for them. The moment you don't have or do it for them anymore, they gone.

Edited by iWantRope
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8 hours ago, duck said:

Are you planning to go to Atlanta for Christmas?  I hope I did not get you mixed us with someone else. 

Hey duck,  my plan was to go to Atlanta but with my brother's current  mental state & his daughter-in-law having a chemo treatment on Dec 23,  I feel like I'm needed more here & money is a bit tight.  But I have decided that when my 2 daughters & oldest one's  family leave after dinner on the 25th I am heading to the local beach for an hour of walking & quiet.  That will be my new tradition.

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My anxiety is through the roof. Poor sleep last night so woke up feeling like crap again with ongoing anxiety. I don't know if I should attempt to get to town today as planned. I still have gifts to get. Also cards to send. This year, might be the year that some folks don't get anything from me. They might be offended but illness doesn't care about that. Besides the fact that if they are not in my daily life to hand a card over to, is it really so important that they get one? 

 

Edited by Nightjar
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13 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

I have the uncanny ability to spin out even when I am around my support system. Middle of a conversation I will just let my mind go where it goes, thankfully I can control my mouth, so people fell that i disconnect but wouldn’t know for sure. 
maybe I should tell them?, maybe its better they just think Im zoned out. 

Yeah, I know what you mean. People can see it, I think.. Better to say, oh, sorry, I zoned out for a minute there I think than to feel weird and self conscious for doing it 🤔

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On 12/17/2021 at 6:34 PM, sober4life said:

It will never end.  People all seem conditioned to keep it going.  If things are bad we have to go out and vote they say.  I say tell me one positive thing any of them have done for us.  I can't think of one thing.

I posted this on my Faceberg page earlier: "Re: Voting...Even trained rats will stop pushing the lever when turds are dispensed instead of food pellets."

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On 12/18/2021 at 8:03 PM, duck said:

Bubbles 🤣.  That was an interesting show ! You can still do it.  I can come join you But you like cold weather and I warm weather so we have to compromise.

Best thing would be a big van or RV.

I love that show. Bubbles is my hero. He even likes cats.

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On 12/19/2021 at 12:41 AM, duck said:

I am still feeling physically ill.  I am not sure what to do.  I guess I could go to a different doctor tomorrow or Monday IF I can find one.  Many clinics have closed permanently.  We have one of the worst health care systems in the western world.  Doctors are not accepting new patients.  

How are you feeling today, Sir Duck?

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On 12/18/2021 at 6:43 PM, sober4life said:

They all play the same game the snake oil salemen used to play.  They come out of nowhere.  I mean did you ever hear of most of them before they ran for office?  They promise to solve all of your current problems and do nothing but take advantage of people and get rich and leave town.  I mean do you really know what happens to most of them when they're out of office?

Yep! Their first and foremost priority…line their pockets and everything else, including doing to job they were elected to do takes a back seat. As I have said, the people in charge in my locale are beyond horrible. Even other nearby places are doing things the right way while they continues to make things more difficult because they crave power and total control of everything and everyone. Scary to say the least. Also, makes me even more anxious and depressed because I want to get of this place so bad (for lots of other reasons also) but there is no way it can happen…and I cannot handle that. 

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I’m feeling dissapointed tonight, as our government has basically locked everything down again due to concerns over the virus. I know they are trying to protect us as they see right, but I feel that there is insufficient provision for the side effects. Mental health in this province has deteriorated beyond belief, trying to see a therapist now is a wait of 6 weeks minimum and a price increase from 80$ to 135$ per session. I have chosen to forgo therapy now as it is too expensive, and far less effective than herbal remedies.

this combination of medication and herbs allows me to close my eyes and ignore things for an hour or two. We keep getting told that the situation is critical. I know I am critical, and thankful to many youtubers who have put together online therapies and humour. I’ve had my vaccines and covid itself, however I am frightened as to how this ends. 

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I know I'm not surprised how most things have gone so far but I have no idea how our governments are going to get beyond the virus.  I think the virus is going to be here forever like the flu but how do they transition from constantly trying to make us scared to death to basically saying ok this is here forever you're on your own now?

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I've suffered from intrusive thoughts since my late teens and most, if not all, of them are racist in nature.

It's gotten worse in the last three years - to the point where I'm afraid to be out in public because I never know if I can keep my mouth shut when I'm anxious or something. Sometimes I don't even trust myself around my family anymore.

Honestly, I'm afraid I'm going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person and get harmed.

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20 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I'm feeling slightly less depressed than usual today. Let's hope I didn't just jinx it.

Sitting in a library using the wi-fi. My other home away from home, along with the laundromat.

The library is the best place to be as far as I am concerned 🙂

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