How do You Feel Right Now? #12

[JD4010]

2 hours ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Am just tired 

also

i hate me 

You just typed what I feel like too. Sorry you're feeling that way.

[cherryapplez2020]

16 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

You just typed what I feel like too. Sorry you're feeling that way.

Well hell am sorry you feel that way to

[sober4life]

3 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Can never be free from the ruling class.

It will never end.  People all seem conditioned to keep it going.  If things are bad we have to go out and vote they say.  I say tell me one positive thing any of them have done for us.  I can't think of one thing.

[sober4life]

5 hours ago, JD4010 said:

You just typed what I feel like too. Sorry you're feeling that way.

I hate myself too.  This time of year helps to remind me of how much of a loser I am.  I've always been very sick but the world doesn't see that or care about what I've gone through for one second.  They just see an idiot that hasn't accomplished anything in life.

[cherryapplez2020]

Headache is pretty much gone

[Nightjar]

Current state: Worried. 

[monicott17]

15 hours ago, sober4life said:

It will never end.  People all seem conditioned to keep it going.  If things are bad we have to go out and vote they say.  I say tell me one positive thing any of them have done for us.  I can't think of one thing.

Amen to this. One of the things I am most concerned about right now is where things might be headed…especially where I live. The people in charge here are the worst of the worst.

[Nightjar]

Ugh. Bad day today. When my favourite guru can't cheer me up, nothing can. Lots of anxiety going on, irritability and tiredness. I did my best with the day but I'm not sure what would have helped. 

Head's been spinning and despairing about what the hell I am supposed to do with myself and my life. This move and my noisy neighbours are stressing me out beyond belief. I feel so angry towards them. I don't know where to go. I don't know what to do. I feel so isolated and I'm scared to move away and feel more isolated but I don't feel like I want to stay here. There's nowhere I wanna be in this city. 

I'm in therapy but I feel like it's for her benefit more than mine. I feel like I'm satisfying her curiosity. I don't feel any better or clearer about my situation. She directs the sessions and asks me questions about stuff I don't want to talk about. While my main concerns go undiscussed and I hand over my money. I also feel like she's judging. 

To rub salt into the wound, I went for a walk today and felt like crying after I was jumped all over by two dogs and covered in mud

I'm longing to feel cared for. To have a partner take me out somewhere in the car is deeply missed  I hate being this alone. 

Edited December 18, 2021 by Nightjar

[sober4life]

I feel the same way.  I feel very alone.  I need someone in my life that I can love that loves me.  It's what I need in my life now.  It has to happen for me to be happy in this world.  There are people in my life but they don't care.  I tell them the same things a million times and they forget about it even important things that of course they should remember.

[Nightjar]

2 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I feel the same way.  I feel very alone.  I need someone in my life that I can love that loves me.  It's what I need in my life now.  It has to happen for me to be happy in this world.  There are people in my life but they don't care.  I tell them the same things a million times and they forget about it even important things that of course they should remember.

Being alone is the worst Every loss has been more and more painful for me. God knows what will become of me. I hope you're doing better than me today sober. I'm at rock bottom

[sober4life]

I'm ok.  I know fighting with everything when you feel nobody cares is very hard.  I keep doing it because I know I'm going to find someone out there that does care.  This house was mom's dream.  Making this place my dream as well has kept me alive I think.  I hope you find a peaceful house out there that you love too @NightjarIt helps.  It makes a world of difference fighting for a place you care about so much.

[sober4life]

7 hours ago, monicott17 said:

Amen to this. One of the things I am most concerned about right now is where things might be headed…especially where I live. The people in charge here are the worst of the worst.

They all play the same game the snake oil salemen used to play.  They come out of nowhere.  I mean did you ever hear of most of them before they ran for office?  They promise to solve all of your current problems and do nothing but take advantage of people and get rich and leave town.  I mean do you really know what happens to most of them when they're out of office?

[surfcaster]

15 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Current state: Worried. 

i feel ya, my current state also

[duck]

On 12/17/2021 at 2:08 PM, JD4010 said:

I want to live like Bubbles on Trailer Park Boys, but I'm about to end up like Ricky. And my car is a lot smaller than the huge 1975 Chrysler Ricky sleeps in.

Bubbles .  That was an interesting show ! You can still do it.  I can come join you But you like cold weather and I warm weather so we have to compromise.

[anon22ae]

5 hours ago, sober4life said:

They all play the same game the snake oil salemen used to play.  They come out of nowhere.  I mean did you ever hear of most of them before they ran for office?  They promise to solve all of your current problems and do nothing but take advantage of people and get rich and leave town.  I mean do you really know what happens to most of them when they're out of office?

It's also become truly disturbing how each side refers to the other as depraved, disgusting, even evil. Could it be that both sides are right? It's increasingly looking this way, at least for some of the particularly egregious examples that tend to make the news.

[duck]

I am still feeling physically ill.  I am not sure what to do.  I guess I could go to a different doctor tomorrow or Monday IF I can find one.  Many clinics have closed permanently.  We have one of the worst health care systems in the western world.  Doctors are not accepting new patients.  

[nojoy]

I have reached the point of acceptance.  I will never be happy=go=lucky but I have more further away from the black hole.  As my niece used to say to questions about life: 'whatever'.

[Evergreenforst4]

On 12/17/2021 at 4:34 PM, sober4life said:

It will never end.  People all seem conditioned to keep it going.  If things are bad we have to go out and vote they say.  I say tell me one positive thing any of them have done for us.  I can't think of one thing.

I might be in the minority here but I think it is better to be on the good side of the ruling.

Thankfully it is not as extreme as like a king that goes yay or nay for like whether someone lives in a palace or is dungeon but I dont go out of my way to crititicize them unless it is a very good reason. Governing millions of people seems profoundly difficult to me.

[sober4life]

10 hours ago, anon22ae said:

It's also become truly disturbing how each side refers to the other as depraved, disgusting, even evil. Could it be that both sides are right? It's increasingly looking this way, at least for some of the particularly egregious examples that tend to make the news.

Both sides are right but people are getting sick of the blame the other side for everything game and like you they're realizing both sides are right.  The person that wins most of the major elections for the next 3 or 4 years will pretend to be everyone's best friend and pretend to care about everything they care about.  I'm fighting for you they will say like a recent election.  You know then everyone will realize they didn't do anything and the next person that runs will say how much they hate the person in office now every time they speak and then back the other way.  It never ends.

[duck]

5 hours ago, nojoy said:

I have reached the point of acceptance.  I will never be happy=go=lucky but I have more further away from the black hole.  As my niece used to say to questions about life: 'whatever'.

Oh nojoy!  I am so sorry you are going through a difficult time.  I am praying things improve for you.  

Are you planning to go to Atlanta for Christmas?  I hope I did not get you mixed us with someone else. 

[duck]

19 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Being alone is the worst Every loss has been more and more painful for me. God knows what will become of me. I hope you're doing better than me today sober. I'm at rock bottom

Good afternoon Nightjar!  I hope you are feeling a tad better.  

[Nightjar]

25 minutes ago, duck said:

Good afternoon Nightjar!  I hope you are feeling a tad better.  

Thanks duck. I'm doing better today. How are you today? 

[cherryapplez2020]

Meh headache gone depression here to stay for awhile talk to doctor tomorrow 2 weeks and I’ll be off of my anxiety med so there’s that still not doing good with it being changed but it will get better I hope also get to see my kids in January so there’s that also my son is turning 13 and I can’t believe it seems like just yesterday he was 7 

[Nightjar]

Wish I could stop spinning out. I was ok when I had company today but since I've been by myself again I've started spinning out. It's mostly about moving. I want to move away but the thought of being an hour away from my only support is freaking me out. 

[sober4life]

19 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Wish I could stop spinning out. I was ok when I had company today but since I've been by myself again I've started spinning out. It's mostly about moving. I want to move away but the thought of being an hour away from my only support is freaking me out. 

I'm what people would call ok when I'm around people too but the more I have to put on an act for them the more I crash and spin out when I'm alone.  They talk about being balanced.  That's my balance I guess.  I need the same amount of insane as I need sane.I know how you feel though anyone is better than nobody at all.  It's a scary feeling when you feel like there is genuinly nobody at all in life.