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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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trying not to beat myself up for not doing anything yesterday.  I just feel overwhelmed by everything I need to finish & can't figure out what to do first. Also knowing that at some point I will get distracted when I see something else in another room that I should do. Been awake since 5 & thinking I could have done alot in the 3 hours I've been awake. Yep, overthinking is what I do best.

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2 hours ago, nojoy said:

trying not to beat myself up for not doing anything yesterday.  I just feel overwhelmed by everything I need to finish & can't figure out what to do first. Also knowing that at some point I will get distracted when I see something else in another room that I should do. Been awake since 5 & thinking I could have done alot in the 3 hours I've been awake. Yep, overthinking is what I do best.

I face this situation quite often. Picking the easiest one and finishing gives me a satisfaction. Unfortunately, the difficult ones always remain undone and I get depressed because of that. I console myself stating atleast I got the easier ones done.

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4 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

also what are peoples thoughts on holiday and mental illness?

I don't know what the answer is.  Is it better to go to a holiday and let it mess you up for a week or more or is it better to hide and let the darkness take you into a deep hole?  

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Pretty stressed. I'm probably going to have to take on care for two sick parents this week as sis likely to be AWOL.... Lots of long drives back and fore to hospital and various other duties... It's not much fun but I'll deal with it best I can I guess. 

 

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17 hours ago, nojoy said:

trying not to beat myself up for not doing anything yesterday.  I just feel overwhelmed by everything I need to finish & can't figure out what to do first. Also knowing that at some point I will get distracted when I see something else in another room that I should do. Been awake since 5 & thinking I could have done alot in the 3 hours I've been awake. Yep, overthinking is what I do best.

Hi Nojoy,

I am sorry beat yourself up. It is the weekend so I would not be too hard on yourself. Sometimes people need time to decompress instrad of work all the time.

For me usually if I feel good I can output a lot more so I use the good to my benefit, when I feel down sometimes it is just one of those days where you do not get much done, I would just small goals as it better to reach even a small simple goal.

When I have bad days I just try to do damage control and sometimes it is possible to turn a bad day around. It can be something like needing a nap, coffee, a vitamin, hydration, a good meal, some exercise or sunlight. I have had a couple days like that where they are bad but can be turned around or try again next day.

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1 hour ago, nothing_man said:

Hating me and the world today. Some thoughts about wishing to die. No will, and am about to grab a job. Tomorrow I have two interviews, and here I am, not caring about sleep nor food. Don't care about a thing today, just left my mind wander on negative stuff.

Hi nothing_man,

I like your avatar drawing. You should try to eat and drink if you can. Sometimes when I feel down I like to eat apples or vegetables. Simple foods can help when you do not feel good, sometimes I try bitter foods as well like lemon and honey if I feel unwell.

Going for walks or hikes or late night music can help clear your mind if you worry about the interview.

I hope it goes well for you

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11 minutes ago, Evergreenforst4 said:

Hi nothing_man,

I like your avatar drawing. You should try to eat and drink if you can. Sometimes when I feel down I like to eat apples or vegetables. Simple foods can help when you do not feel good, sometimes I try bitter foods as well like lemon and honey if I feel unwell.

Going for walks or hikes or late night music can help clear your mind if you worry about the interview.

I hope it goes well for you

Hi Evergreenforst4,

Thank you. It's too hard today, to face this thoughts, I don't even have the energy to do that, to eat or go for a walk. I'll lie in bed now, hoping to fall asleep. I hope tomorrow I feel better. Thanks for the wishes and advices. I hope you're doing good.

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13 minutes ago, nothing_man said:

Hi Evergreenforst4,

Thank you. It's too hard today, to face this thoughts, I don't even have the energy to do that, to eat or go for a walk. I'll lie in bed now, hoping to fall asleep. I hope tomorrow I feel better. Thanks for the wishes and advices. I hope you're doing good.

Thank you,

I am actually doing really good. I got a new girlfriend. I have been pretty lucky.l, I was only single for like a week and she is like a chief nurse or something.

There is always hope things can get better. I recently saw Hamilton musical which was about the founders of America and I realized that they actually had a lot obstacles but keeping a vision and a dream is important.

Just dream big if you have no energy to do anything just keep dreams alive. Theres so many great people in history who dreamed even though at the time they did not have happiness with them.

Ive been let down a lot in life but I got myself one nice outfit. My whole small paycheck I was gon a get a suit of armor when I got my job lol and get food for my family.

Just sell it to them you got this interview in the bag  I think you can do it. Good luck.

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16 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Pretty stressed. I'm probably going to have to take on care for two sick parents this week as sis likely to be AWOL.... Lots of long drives back and fore to hospital and various other duties... It's not much fun but I'll deal with it best I can I guess. 

 

Sorry to hear Nightjar.  I hope you feel better today.  

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56 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I think I'm probably in the final chapter of my life.  The mind and body are toast.  My dreams are usually my mind trying to convince me to leave the world.  It's done and why wouldn't it be?

Isolation will make anyone feel like this. If you can, try to take steps towards being around people more.. Volunteer work/work /club/meetings/groups.... This is my advice to you and me both 😘

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On 12/5/2021 at 8:54 AM, ladysmurf said:

also what are peoples thoughts on holiday and mental illness?

The holidays are worse for me.  I grew up with a mother who could find fault with everything every holiday,  birthday, special occasion. The anxiety I felt was like walking on eggshells.  So I hate to see them come around. Since my mother died, no one recognizes me on christmas, birthdays or mother's day. It is a very depressed time.  I've been thinking of not celebrating chrismas. Just hiding behind closed doors.  I have written a letter to my daughters about this & will make sure the grandkids do get something from me.  And if I have the money (plane, hotel), I am thinking of going to Atlanta & my niece may join me.  

Someone told me that I needed a ME day. I'm taking a ME week.

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4 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Isolation will make anyone feel like this. If you can, try to take steps towards being around people more.. Volunteer work/work /club/meetings/groups.... This is my advice to you and me both 😘

I'm not well enough to have a full life this time of year.  I can do the bare minimum as far as society goes and hope there's enough brain left to get me to spring.  I'm smart enough to know that one of these winters my time will run out and there's not a thing I can do about it.  Nobody cares about what happens to me in real life.  What there was someone here for my birthday and the guys that did the roof and family came to see the roof.  That's pretty much it all year as far as peole being here.  If that's the story why should I even want to be here anymore?

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11 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I'm not well enough to have a full life this time of year.  I can do the bare minimum as far as society goes and hope there's enough brain left to get me to spring.  I'm smart enough to know that one of these winters my time will run out and there's not a thing I can do about it.  Nobody cares about what happens to me in real life.  What there was someone here for my birthday and the guys that did the roof and family came to see the roof.  That's pretty much it all year as far as peole being here.  If that's the story why should I even want to be here anymore?

Sorry sober. I shouldn't be giving you advice. I was obviously trying to help but sometimes, I know that giving advice is the worst thing you can do. I just felt that we were in a similar situation and maybe we needed a similar solution 🤷‍♀️ It's me that I think needs to meet people more.... Not so easy with the covid situ though 😬

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It's happened again. Buyer number 2 has pulled out 🙄 Apart from that today went as well as possible I guess. I took mom to her appointment at the hospital, got some supplies while she was at her appointment, then picked her up again and brought her home. Anxiety has been high today as I've been negotiating anxiety inducing roads and not having the down time that I need. 

On the positive side, sis is back on board with helping the olds and I won't have to do it all myself, thank god 🙏

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On 12/5/2021 at 8:54 AM, ladysmurf said:

also what are peoples thoughts on holiday and mental illness?

I have bad Seasonal Affective Depression. I was never a big fan of the holidays and everything assoicated with it growing up but now…ugh. It is awful for me and combined with very little daylight/sunlight and the miserable weather we have here..it is even worse.

At a past job for several, I was guilt tripped/kind of forced  by my psycho boss into doing all kinds if holiday related things both during work and off hours and that has also soured me even more on the holidays.

I wonder if I lived someplace warmer and nicer, if I could handle it somewhat better? I have to think so since my current locale is so awful.

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I have seasonal affective depression as well.  Honestly I don't think I've ever enjoyed being around anyone in person.  My whole life has been hell and especially everything I have been through on my own I don't feel like performing for people that don't even deserve to see me again as awful as they've been.  I don't enjoy being around people ever.  Holidays force me to "perform" and put on a fake bitter smile.  I hate life and I hate pretending I like it and I hate pretending I'm enjoying myself.  I'm never enjoying myself.  I'm always uncomfortable and can't wait to leave no matter where I'm at.

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I got the job 🥲 . Rescued myself during the day, put together, did some breathing exercises, took a cold shower, and put the better face. The job is a challenge, gotta face new things, I even have to guide some fellows. I hope strength follows me. Now that I'll have an income, I can go back to therapy and to the gym, both will improve my health overall.

One of the places I thought for cheering is here, in a way, you're my family, we're on the same ship. I hope you're having a great day, "one more time around, might do it, one more time around, might make it".

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