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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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Had grief from narc mom this afternoon and it sent me into a tailspin.... I'm already coasting along the edge of a breakdown. It doesn't matter to her. She would never back down. I can't take any kind of stress and her freak outs freak me out like nothing else.. 

I'm hoping that my sleep will be ok 🤞

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5 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

im not a big fan of yoga, but i like hiking and walking, however i can't right now. i developed some symptoms from my drug that  I was on, and I think they are permanent they told me. My BP, OCD, anxiety is out of control. I cant focus to read. and I can't stand up to walk sometimes I get dizzy or too high BP . Also other physical symptoms the drug left me with, that I dont think Ill have a normal life anymore.

Sorry to hear about all those symptoms. I really hope that they're not permanent as it would be a shame not to be able to hike anymore. I hope that you can find some solace and relief in something 💙

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3 hours ago, duck said:

Good morning everyone 😀

How are you all doing?   I just had a shower and I am feeling better.   Maybe short term but I will take it. 

Glad you feel a bit better duck. I had a rough night with poor sleep. I think I was actually doing better with sleeping at my mom's house. Being ill and alone is very difficult. 

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Sometimes the anger I have from this illness (because it has destroyed my life all these years) makes me so mad and take it out on people I care about. Like I give them attitude or ignore them. I really hate this illness. I've told my doctor repeatedly that I hope something changes soon because I don't want to live like this forever. 

 I hope you guys had a good weekend.

Yes hiking relaxes me and I hope I can continue to do it in the future

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On 11/7/2021 at 6:56 AM, pdh said:

What will u do with those yarns?

This year I have gotten back into crocheting'  I have 5 large notebooks of free patterns I got online.  And I hope I will have enough soft baby yarn to make baby blankets, booties, mitts & hats for a couple of family support groups near me.

Crocheting, especially a complex pattern helps to shut off the negative thoughts that creep into my head very often.

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1 hour ago, nojoy said:

This year I have gotten back into crocheting'  I have 5 large notebooks of free patterns I got online.  And I hope I will have enough soft baby yarn to make baby blankets, booties, mitts & hats for a couple of family support groups near me.

Crocheting, especially a complex pattern helps to shut off the negative thoughts that creep into my head very often.

This is great nojoy.  This is definitely a great hobby to divert those negative intrusive thoughts.

It  sounds like you have advance skills in crocheting.  Awesome!  I love to crochet too but I'm limited in my skills.  I know how to make hats and quits.

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18 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Glad you feel a bit better duck. I had a rough night with poor sleep. I think I was actually doing better with sleeping at my mom's house. Being ill and alone is very difficult. 

I am so sorry to hear.  Sleep is very important to us.  Maybe you can spend a day or two at your mom’s place every week?    

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4 hours ago, nojoy said:

This year I have gotten back into crocheting'  I have 5 large notebooks of free patterns I got online.  And I hope I will have enough soft baby yarn to make baby blankets, booties, mitts & hats for a couple of family support groups near me.

Crocheting, especially a complex pattern helps to shut off the negative thoughts that creep into my head very often.

That’s awesome!   I don’t have any hobbies.  Maybe that’s why I am struggling so much.   I will have to learn something soon 😀

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3 hours ago, duck said:

That’s awesome!   I don’t have any hobbies.  Maybe that’s why I am struggling so much.   I will have to learn something soon 😀

 

3 hours ago, duck said:

That’s awesome!   I don’t have any hobbies.  Maybe that’s why I am struggling so much.   I will have to learn something soon 😀

You may begin by reading something which calms the mind. I like general books like philosophy, self help, spiritual books, science fiction by Authors such as Carl Sagan.

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7 hours ago, nojoy said:

This year I have gotten back into crocheting'  I have 5 large notebooks of free patterns I got online.  And I hope I will have enough soft baby yarn to make baby blankets, booties, mitts & hats for a couple of family support groups near me.

Crocheting, especially a complex pattern helps to shut off the negative thoughts that creep into my head very often.

Wow, that's amazing. A productive and creative activity it is. Eagerly waiting to see the pics of what you make out of it.

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16 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

Sometimes the anger I have from this illness (because it has destroyed my life all these years) makes me so mad and take it out on people I care about. Like I give them attitude or ignore them. I really hate this illness. I've told my doctor repeatedly that I hope something changes soon because I don't want to live like this forever. 

 I hope you guys had a good weekend.

Yes hiking relaxes me and I hope I can continue to do it in the future

Anger is something makes everyone bad, one who hears it and one who utters it. If we can learn not to react it would be of great help. I know its not easy. I keep concentrating on my breath when I recognize anger or irritation inside me. Do u read too?

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22 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Glad you feel a bit better duck. I had a rough night with poor sleep. I think I was actually doing better with sleeping at my mom's house. Being ill and alone is very difficult. 

Sorry to hear you could not sleep well. I know it is very hard to be ill and alone. Praying things will get better for you.

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5 hours ago, pdh said:

Anger is something makes everyone bad, one who hears it and one who utters it. If we can learn not to react it would be of great help. I know its not easy. I keep concentrating on my breath when I recognize anger or irritation inside me. Do u read too?

i love reading but i can't read right now. i can't concentrate.....too many health problems and i can't concentrate on anything....well I have anger because I can't live my life without this illness always bringing me down. I try to do something good and it might last a few months I might feel better, and then i fall apart again.and become worse...typically im not an angry person, i just dont like the idea of suffering all my life..and not being able to do things i enjoy

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The latest person who can't help: the betterhelp therapist I've been paying out of pocket for, who suggested tonight that i find an in-person trauma therapist. she thinks someone else may be able to offer methods she can't via telehealth, something other than talking? around and around we go. already spent hours and hours finding her when nothing else was available. if she can find something local and affordable that i overlooked, awesome, but... really? feeling lost

Edited by juno_writes
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19 hours ago, pdh said:

 

You may begin by reading something which calms the mind. I like general books like philosophy, self help, spiritual books, science fiction by Authors such as Carl Sagan.

Thank you pdh.  I seem to enjoy cold cases.  I will try your suggestions. 

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19 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

i love reading but i can't read right now. i can't concentrate.....too many health problems and i can't concentrate on anything....well I have anger because I can't live my life without this illness always bringing me down. I try to do something good and it might last a few months I might feel better, and then i fall apart again.and become worse...typically im not an angry person, i just dont like the idea of suffering all my life..and not being able to do things i enjoy

I understand what u r going through. Even I am unable to concentrate these days. Somehow I end up with  browsing the internet meaninglessly. If we are in a "good" company we feel happy and seem to do "right" things. I guess seeking like minded friends will help.  Do u get to meet ur friends often?

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