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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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5 minutes ago, monicott17 said:

November 1 is when one of the local radio stations went to 24-7 Christmas music. I can easily avoid it but just the idea of it and the fact it makes most people happy to hear that while it is the opposite for me. I dislike Christmas music, decor…all of it. It makes me even more sad, anxious and depressed than I already am. 

The time change and getting dark at 5:00PM plus the absolute misery that is winter in my locale…no wonder why I have been so miserable of late.

I enjoy Christmas cartoons every year.  I'll pretend I don't have them all on DVD and cry through them all about 10 times a year.  I like National Lampoon's Chrismas vacation too.  I feel a need for those things every year but the same music every year is annoying I'll be honest.  I don't want to hear it.

 

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I have avoided the medication topic with my therapist as long as possible because I was so unsure about it but I am afraid I am pretty close to the “point of no return”. He doesn’t push it in any way and totally leaves it up to me. I can barely function anymore. I am sad, angry, anxious and nothing brings me joy or happiness. I just go through the motions and I really can’t take much more. I think I have to at least try something, no meds in the past have done much but it hurts too much to keep living this way. And since I struggle so bad during the holidays and winter, things are only going to get worse I am afraid.

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35 minutes ago, monicott17 said:

November 1 is when one of the local radio stations went to 24-7 Christmas music. I can easily avoid it but just the idea of it and the fact it makes most people happy to hear that while it is the opposite for me. I dislike Christmas music, decor…all of it. It makes me even more sad, anxious and depressed than I already am. 

The time change and getting dark at 5:00PM plus the absolute misery that is winter in my locale…no wonder why I have been so miserable of late.

I share your sentiments.  I don't mind the music but they play the same songs day after day and that’s what drive me bananas. 

I also hate how all the holidays have been so commercialized.  A lot of people are only interested in what you are going to give them. 

Holidays are meant to show gratitude and thanks for our lives,  our higher power, and helping others.

As for the time changing I'm really having to prepare for readjustment.  But we'll make it. 

 

Edited by lindahurt
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11 minutes ago, monicott17 said:

I have avoided the medication topic with my therapist as long as possible because I was so unsure about it but I am afraid I am pretty close to the “point of no return”. He doesn’t push it in any way and totally leaves it up to me. I can barely function anymore. I am sad, angry, anxious and nothing brings me joy or happiness. I just go through the motions and I really can’t take much more. I think I have to at least try something, no meds in the past have done much but it hurts too much to keep living this way. And since I struggle so bad during the holidays and winter, things are only going to get worse I am afraid.

I understand how you feel about taking meds.  I use to skip days of taking my medications and it just left unstable and unpredictable.   I had a hard time managing the rapid mood swings.  So I decided to take my medications which gave me some degree of control.  Though I still struggle l am a happier person overall. 

Perhaps discussing medication therapy as an option with your doctor might be a good idea.

 

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Good morning everyone 😀.  I have been reading all your posts.  I have not been able to respond because I am so exhausted and busy with family issues.  I hope everyone have a pleasant day 😀

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6 hours ago, sober4life said:

I enjoy Christmas cartoons every year.  I'll pretend I don't have them all on DVD and cry through them all about 10 times a year.  I like National Lampoon's Chrismas vacation too.  I feel a need for those things every year but the same music every year is annoying I'll be honest.  I don't want to hear it.

 

I also like National Lampoon’s Christmas vacation.   Fun stuff.  Yes we need new music. 

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18 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Morning everyone. I had a really rough night last night. I'm so lost at the moment. Anxiety is bad. I have no anchors except for toxic family 😬 

I'm feeling like I have to move even though I don't want to. I feel too ill with anxiety to do it but if I don't, I'll be stuck in this situation where my sleep is being disturbed at my place and I'm forced to stay with toxic family members.

I was at mom's for two months. Last night was the second night I was back at my place. Man, it was rough. I'm just so lonely and anxious without my cat and stressed about having to move... On a positive note, if I get started with moving again, at least things will be moving in a more positive direction(?) 

What do I do guys? We all know how stressful moving is, but staying here feels just as stressful(!?) 

I hope you had a better night.  
What are your options as to moving?

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Hi guys, just a quick one while I have a minute.... Hope everyone is doing ok and better than I am.... I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired today.... At least I can have a moan here. I can't really anywhere else...... 

Please god, let this current breakdown eff off as soon as poss 😬

Have the best day possible everyone 🙆‍♀️

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10 hours ago, duck said:

I hope you had a better night.  
What are your options as to moving?

Cheers. It was a bit better but I wish I could get more sleep. It's been very poor.... 

Moving wise, I'm gonna concentrate on getting mine sold but I'll start looking for another place as soon as it's sold. 

I'll stay with mom if I can't find somewhere yet..... I'm considering the countryside, but also the next town and anything good in this town... I did see a really good house for sale in the countryside today 🤔

 

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Exhausted. In bed very early. Nervous because my neighbours are out and they’ll most probably wake me up when they come back in. After three nights back here I'm on the verge of going back to mom's.. I don't think I can stand it anymore. 

Please god, let me be able to look back on this as a bad memory soon and please god let me get a decent amount of sleep tonight 🙏

Goodnight DF family 💙

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5 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

Didn't get much sleep, very bad dreams, very vivid....a lot of anxiety and OCD. and constantly crying so my day is not going that great.........I hope people have a good weekend. 

Hope your weekend is good too ladysmurf. Do you have any plans? For me, it's day by day,  depending on how much sleep I get. 

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Just now, Nightjar said:

Hope your weekend is good too ladysmurf. Do you have any plans? For me, it's day by day,  depending on how much sleep I get. 

Not really. I have so much anxiety  and i barely slept. No one understands me, people keep saying in my family "things will get better" and I've been hearing that for decades, but I always feel anxious, ocd, depressed, and nothing really changes. i might have a good day here and there, but other than that, nothing too exciting... i wish i would find some relief and feel a little better, to be able to handle my symptoms a little better, but i haven't been able to. Eventually i will head to the wrong path for my sanity..

I hope you guys have a good weekend

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2 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

Not really. I have so much anxiety  and i barely slept. No one understands me, people keep saying in my family "things will get better" and I've been hearing that for decades, but I always feel anxious, ocd, depressed, and nothing really changes. i might have a good day here and there, but other than that, nothing too exciting... i wish i would find some relief and feel a little better, to be able to handle my symptoms a little better, but i haven't been able to. Eventually i will head to the wrong path for my sanity..

I hope you guys have a good weekend

I have terrible anxiety too. I have to take it day by day and don't even try to make long term plans. My life is far from normal. 

I wouldn't wish this on anyone and I'm sorry that you're going through this too. Just know that we understand :hugs:

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10 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

I have terrible anxiety too. I have to take it day by day and don't even try to make long term plans. My life is far from normal. 

I wouldn't wish this on anyone and I'm sorry that you're going through this too. Just know that we understand :hugs:

it's gotten so bad over the years, that my blood pressure has been impacted, and my physical body... my primary doctor keeps telling me to find ways to relax, and stuff, but it's not working...none of the medications i've tried have helped and i dont know what to do anymore..the doctors want to look into ketamine and tms for me..it's like my last hope.....although i dont know if i can afford that stuff or even if my insurance pays it.. i just want to give up  , after so many years not being able to find some normality, it's just getting too much.

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36 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

Didn't get much sleep, very bad dreams, very vivid....a lot of anxiety and OCD. and constantly crying so my day is not going that great.........I hope people have a good weekend

Too bad, What do u usually dream about?

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14 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

it's gotten so bad over the years, that my blood pressure has been impacted, and my physical body... my primary doctor keeps telling me to find ways to relax, and stuff, but it's not working...none of the medications i've tried have helped and i dont know what to do anymore..the doctors want to look into ketamine and tms for me..it's like my last hope.....although i dont know if i can afford that stuff or even if my insurance pays it.. i just want to give up  , after so many years not being able to find some normality, it's just getting too much.

Well, I'm sure you've heard all of the advice about exercise, yoga and meditation. These things help me but they're not a cure....Also, spirituality is helpful to me...It gives me a reason to bear the suffering lol. I would recommend checking out eckhart tolle and Byron Katie's books or youtube videos. Maybe worth a try? 

I can only recommend the things that have helped me a little bit... Also,  having a pet to love has helped me tremendously.... I haven't got one currently and it's torture...I'm so lonely. I have to wait till I've moved 😔

Nature helps me a lot too.. Do you like walking/sitting in nature? 

Apologies if you've heard it all before. I can only share the things that have been helpful to me. Hugs :hugs:

Edited by Nightjar
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