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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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15 hours ago, lindahurt said:

Hi Nightjar,

I really love the point you've made in this post.....accepting you as you are.  I have worked really hard to let family, friends, acquittances know that I am who I am and I love being me.  I used to let others control and pressure me into making commitments I did not want to make, or do things their way.  I've learned to say no and set boundaries.

Through many years of seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, I learned to love myself and see the goodness within me.  Its ok to be me.  Even in the mist of all the challenges of dealing with Bipolar 1, GAD, PTSD, Eating Disorder, and Glaucoma, I still love and accept who I am as a unique, imperfect person on this earth.  Oh, that's not to say that there aren't times when I don't like myself.  On the contrary, there are many times when I disapprove of my decisions and actions after the fact.   

By nature I'm an introvert and my twin brother(deceased) was an extrovert.  My mom use to praise him for being what she called "outgoing".  Well, I'm outgoing and an introvert and that's ok.  I enjoy solitude.  People want to make you feel like you are not normal.  What is NORMAL?  I no longer let anyone getaway with judging me because I don't do things like them or everyone else.  I love being different and there are so many of my acquaintances who would love to build a closer relationship with me.  But I keep most at a distance.... trust issues. 

I just love to see people who are not afraid to be themselves..... whatever that might mean.  Yes, I suffer with mental illness but its still ok to be different, to be me.

Embrace yourself.  Its ok to be you.

 

So well said!!! Even at my age I am still struggling to be exactly what you described...not even close yet!

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On 10/15/2021 at 11:36 AM, nojoy said:

I think I would rather have my therapist or psych doctor say those words than a family member.  When I hear family say something like those words. I feel that I'm being patted on the head while the family member rolls his/her eyes. At least when a trained person says something like that, I feel that they have an understanding/knowledge of how difficult life is for me. 

i find it worse either way...no one gets it.

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4 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Well, I looked into a few different drugs to treat my condition (raging adrenaline) and they all cause side effects of sleeplessness which is my main concern 😬 So... Not so sure about taking them now. 

Anyway, I booked in for a massage in a couple of days and I somehow need to find the energy to prepare for it... Shaving, wash hair etc. I had about 4 hours sleep last night... Pushing through is gonna be tough. 

I took Zoloft for years.  It didn't help with sleep.  It woke me up like a cup of coffee.  

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10 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Well, I looked into a few different drugs to treat my condition (raging adrenaline) and they all cause side effects of sleeplessness which is my main concern 😬 So... Not so sure about taking them now. 

Anyway, I booked in for a massage in a couple of days and I somehow need to find the energy to prepare for it... Shaving, wash hair etc. I had about 4 hours sleep last night... Pushing through is gonna be tough. 

Maybe the sleeplessness will subside eventually.  Some side effects do.  You have to weigh the pros and cons and talk it over with your doctor.  Finding the right combination of drugs for treatment is a trial and error process.

Keep pushing through Nightjar.  There's nothing like a good massage.  Lol, I'm feeling a little envious.

Edited by lindahurt
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7 hours ago, sober4life said:

I'm a strange person.  If you talked to me right now I would sound like Oscar the Grouch even though I'm watching Frosty the Snowman and Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer this morning.:unsure:

sober4life, you are so funny.  If I was feeling a little low your words would lift my spirit, lol.

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13 hours ago, duck said:

On Friday I did over ten thousand steps. I went to pick up a rental car and there was a delay so I walked around the neighborhood and then later in the evening I walked again.  
 

on Saturday it rained all day and I had a virtual funeral to attend so I did not walk. 

I'm impressed....ten thousand steps and walking the neighborhood.  Keep it up.  Exercise is so important and provides some degree of relief to help improve our mood.

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9 hours ago, KidSurvivor2011 said:

I feel a neverending sadness. My aunt and the suicide hotline drove me away. I've lost the will to keep going. I can't take it anymore. Just make it stop already. Seriously, enough. I'm sick of this.

 

- KS

Its true KidSurvivor2011.  Dealing with anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues is never-ending.  You have to look deep within yourself and find inner strength from somewhere.  Why?  Because your life is worth fighting for even when you feel like you are drained of everything and just want to leave this world.  Its those dark dark down in the pit days that drains us the most.  I try to tell myself that this will past and it eventually does.  So hang in there and try to find a support group you can attend and draw from their strength.  Remember, you are no alone.  DF is here and we won't drive you away.  Sending you a hug.

Lindahurt

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On 10/16/2021 at 6:23 PM, surfcaster said:

after being sick and feeling like i was dying for a week finally i am beginning to feel better, also after all the heart tests they finally addressed my original complaint, turns out my shortness of breath issues boil down to allergy triggered asthma, so i am now on meds for that and for the heart palpitations, YAY more drugs, not, but if they work i guess it's ok

Glad you are feeling  better. Also glad you discovered the  source  of the  shortness  of  breath.

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On 10/17/2021 at 1:17 AM, duck said:

On Friday I did over ten thousand steps. I went to pick up a rental car and there was a delay so I walked around the neighborhood and then later in the evening I walked again.  
 

on Saturday it rained all day and I had a virtual funeral to attend so I did not walk. 

Keep it up, Duck! I've been walking more recently. Still in dreadful shape but one has to start somewhere.

Sorry you had to attend a funeral though. 😞

Edited by JD4010
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13 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Bit shaky inside. Hopeful that I get to my massage ok and that it's gonna help.... Nervous about covid stuff.. Life is not exactly a breeze is it? 😬

I hope you enjoy it.  I've never had a massage before.  Honestly if I was able to go to get a massage or go to a chiropracter it might help.🤔

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Bit shaky inside. Hopeful that I get to my massage ok and that it's gonna help.... Nervous about covid stuff.. Life is not exactly a breeze is it? 😬

Wishing all goes well with today.  Enjoy the massage.

Had the two covid shots, take plenty of vitamin c, wear mask, use sanitizers.  Hope these measures will keep covid at bay for me.

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52 minutes ago, Runes_Rabbit said:

Today? Bad. I want to stand in the middle of a meadow - alone - surrounded by wilderness, and just. Scream.

You know Rabbit, sometimes it good to just scream and let out all those raging emotions we sometimes keep balled up inside.

I hope the next day will be a better one for you.

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4 hours ago, sober4life said:

I hope you enjoy it.  I've never had a massage before.  Honestly if I was able to go to get a massage or go to a chiropracter it might help.🤔

It was good. I got some feeling of safety from it which is exactly what I need right now. It's a lot of preparation because it's full body so your whole body needs to be sparkly, clean and groomed.. Also, it's not cheap... But if you can scrape the money together, it's well worth it 🤔

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2 hours ago, lindahurt said:

Wishing all goes well with today.  Enjoy the massage

Thankyou. I was a little late but they were really nice about it. I liked the lady, thank god. It's a lot to pay out when you get bad vibes from someone. All in all, it was good 👌

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