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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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2 hours ago, Nightjar said:

I'm at pretty much my all time low. I called the doc this am and cried down the phone. Actually having a doc call back is a bit of a miracle so I must be ill. Lol. 

Anyway, he gave me antidepressants to help with my severe anxiety. In 22 years I've avoided them but now I'm picking them up tomorrow. I haven't taken them since I was 20. Not 100% sure I'm taking them but pretty certain. 

I'm such a 'natural is best' type person and here I am going down this road. Let's just say that all of the many difficulties of my adult life have led to this point. I won't be able to start tomorrow but maybe the next day. I'm scared of them, of worsening symptoms. Any reassurance is very welcome right now 🌻

I'm on 450 mgs. of bupropion and it works for me.  After being on 300mgs. for a long time my psychiatrist increased it to 450 mgs. and I can tell a big difference in my disposition.

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Hi LindaHurt. I am very new to this specific Depression Central Forum. I'm assuming that the typical back and forth dialog is not how this is supposed to work here? I want to make some comments/replies, but not sure if I should...?

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36 minutes ago, MidAgeDad said:

Hi LindaHurt. I am very new to this specific Depression Central Forum. I'm assuming that the typical back and forth dialog is not how this is supposed to work here? I want to make some comments/replies, but not sure if I should...?

It's fine that's how it always is here in this section.  It's always a conversation section.  If you are able to help someone or have anything at all you want to say about anything of course we want to hear it.

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1 hour ago, MidAgeDad said:

Hi LindaHurt. I am very new to this specific Depression Central Forum. I'm assuming that the typical back and forth dialog is not how this is supposed to work here? I want to make some comments/replies, but not sure if I should...?

 

27 minutes ago, sober4life said:

It's fine that's how it always is here in this section.  It's always a conversation section.  If you are able to help someone or have anything at all you want to say about anything of course we want to hear it.

Hi MidAgeDad,

I concur with sober4life.  You just jump in and share whatever thoughts are on your mind.

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4 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Anyway, he gave me antidepressants to help with my severe anxiety. In 22 years I've avoided them but now I'm picking them up tomorrow. I haven't taken them since I was 20. Not 100% sure I'm taking them but pretty certain. 

I sure hope it helps you. I am not familiar with medications and avoid them whenever I can. But if it provides relief for you maybe it is worth a shot. Wish you best of luck 💫

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8 hours ago, sober4life said:

Fate or whatever thought it stopped me for sure this time but I proved I can open a can with one working hand.😘

I can open a pickle jar with my bare hands.

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One of the worst things I find when I'm struggling is the pressure family members put on you to 'do this' 'do that'. Can I just be me? And be allowed to be what I am right now? 

If I could feel accepted as I am I could relax a whole lot more. The pressure is stressing me out. 

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13 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

One of the worst things I find when I'm struggling is the pressure family members put on you to 'do this' 'do that'. Can I just be me? And be allowed to be what I am right now? 

If I could feel accepted as I am I could relax a whole lot more. The pressure is stressing me out. 

Yeah why is family the hardest.  They should be the most comforting.  It should be the easiest to be ourselves around them but it's not that way even if they are good well intentioned people it's still oh no here they come.  Me around family is usually scared to death.  Me around the general public is more like Tom Green.

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9 hours ago, Nightjar said:

One of the worst things I find when I'm struggling is the pressure family members put on you to 'do this' 'do that'. Can I just be me? And be allowed to be what I am right now? 

If I could feel accepted as I am I could relax a whole lot more. The pressure is stressing me out. 

Hi Nightjar,

I really love the point you've made in this post.....accepting you as you are.  I have worked really hard to let family, friends, acquittances know that I am who I am and I love being me.  I used to let others control and pressure me into making commitments I did not want to make, or do things their way.  I've learned to say no and set boundaries.

Through many years of seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, I learned to love myself and see the goodness within me.  Its ok to be me.  Even in the mist of all the challenges of dealing with Bipolar 1, GAD, PTSD, Eating Disorder, and Glaucoma, I still love and accept who I am as a unique, imperfect person on this earth.  Oh, that's not to say that there aren't times when I don't like myself.  On the contrary, there are many times when I disapprove of my decisions and actions after the fact.   

By nature I'm an introvert and my twin brother(deceased) was an extrovert.  My mom use to praise him for being what she called "outgoing".  Well, I'm outgoing and an introvert and that's ok.  I enjoy solitude.  People want to make you feel like you are not normal.  What is NORMAL?  I no longer let anyone getaway with judging me because I don't do things like them or everyone else.  I love being different and there are so many of my acquaintances who would love to build a closer relationship with me.  But I keep most at a distance.... trust issues. 

I just love to see people who are not afraid to be themselves..... whatever that might mean.  Yes, I suffer with mental illness but its still ok to be different, to be me.

Embrace yourself.  Its ok to be you.

 

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10 hours ago, Nightjar said:

One of the worst things I find when I'm struggling is the pressure family members put on you to 'do this' 'do that'. Can I just be me? And be allowed to be what I am right now? 

If I could feel accepted as I am I could relax a whole lot more. The pressure is stressing me out. 

i think this is something all of us can relate to, problem is family does not understand and way too often do not even try to, only thing that helped me is something not everyone can do, i  ceased contact with most of them, yes it was incredibly hard at first but was what helped in the long run

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10 hours ago, Nightjar said:

One of the worst things I find when I'm struggling is the pressure family members put on you to 'do this' 'do that'. Can I just be me? And be allowed to be what I am right now? 

If I could feel accepted as I am I could relax a whole lot more. The pressure is stressing me out. 

Hi Nightjar,

Nope its not just you.  My deceased mother used to tell me something like if you just get off your lazy a-- & do something,  you wouldn't have time to be depressed. And I still have family members that roll their eyes at me when I talk about the depression/anxiety.  From the therapist, I learned that I do what I need to do for me even if that means I don't get out of bed all day. I don't have the problem the people aka family have the problem. Yep it is hard when you have to deal with how you feel and the people around you have a negative attitude towards you.  Some days I like to fantasize about having the family that understands me, some days that's how I get thru the day.  I really like those days.

Take care of yourself 

 

 

 

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after being sick and feeling like i was dying for a week finally i am beginning to feel better, also after all the heart tests they finally addressed my original complaint, turns out my shortness of breath issues boil down to allergy triggered asthma, so i am now on meds for that and for the heart palpitations, YAY more drugs, not, but if they work i guess it's ok

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Great,mom and I went shopping since I needed new work clothes and she wanted a new dress.I was nice to her,I decided the dress she picked and told me thank you.Wanted to give back for supporting me being genderfluid and seeing I came out a much happier daughter.Bought me some new clothes too

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1 hour ago, surfcaster said:

after being sick and feeling like i was dying for a week finally i am beginning to feel better, also after all the heart tests they finally addressed my original complaint, turns out my shortness of breath issues boil down to allergy triggered asthma, so i am now on meds for that and for the heart palpitations, YAY more drugs, not, but if they work i guess it's ok

Awesome surfcaster!  l am glad the problem was defined and is now being treated.  There's nothing like good news to make life just a little bit more barrable, considering all the other health issues we encounter. 

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24 minutes ago, HollyMG said:

Great,mom and I went shopping since I needed new work clothes and she wanted a new dress.I was nice to her,I decided the dress she picked and told me thank you.Wanted to give back for supporting me being genderfluid and seeing I came out a much happier daughter.Bought me some new clothes too

That's absolutely wonderful, Holly.

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I feel ok.  Binging on American Greed and lounging on the couch.  One day I feel great.  The next I may feel emotionally paralyze and  can't leave the house for any reason.  Most of the day is spent on the couch snoozing.  I just go with the flow and deal with as best I can.  That's how it is with me managing bipolar 1 as a rapid cycler.

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On 10/14/2021 at 5:55 AM, Nightjar said:

Still reeling from yesterday's news. My buyer basically pulled out after a month and now I have to start from scratch. Didn't get much sleep which is so annoying, I did well the night before. This is such a struggle. I'm a bit of a zombie today so I'm taking it as easy as I can. Hope everyone is having a better day than me 😘

Oh no!  This is awful!   I don’t know what to say.   Sorry to hear. 😢

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On Friday I did over ten thousand steps. I went to pick up a rental car and there was a delay so I walked around the neighborhood and then later in the evening I walked again.  
 

on Saturday it rained all day and I had a virtual funeral to attend so I did not walk. 

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3 hours ago, duck said:

Oh no!  This is awful!   I don’t know what to say.   Sorry to hear. 😢

Thanks duck. It's probably for the best. I'm too ill for that kind of stress this year... I'm keeping my fingers crossed for next year but more than anything, I just want to feel better 🌻

How are things? 

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Well, I looked into a few different drugs to treat my condition (raging adrenaline) and they all cause side effects of sleeplessness which is my main concern 😬 So... Not so sure about taking them now. 

Anyway, I booked in for a massage in a couple of days and I somehow need to find the energy to prepare for it... Shaving, wash hair etc. I had about 4 hours sleep last night... Pushing through is gonna be tough. 

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