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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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3 hours ago, Nightjar said:

I'm feeling overwhelmed too :hugs:Have you gone back to you mil's? Is that why things have worsened? 🤔 It really sucks to be at the mercy of unkind people when you have nowhere else to go..

I'm in the same boat. If I had more money then at least I could get some counselling. But then who am I kidding? I only seem to have enough energy to get the housework done and keep myself just about presentable 🤔

Nope I’m at my parents place and I still feel overwhelmed. Just shows I’m the problem and not my mil causing the problem. I was Overwhelmed with work, housing, emails, people, just everything. I’m a bit better now but still afraid of what tomorrow will bring, always afraid. 

I hope u do get the help u need NJ. Not all counselling is helpful. Sometime we just need to be around people who say the right things to help us cope :hugs:

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7 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

Nope I’m at my parents place and I still feel overwhelmed. Just shows I’m the problem and not my mil causing the problem. I was Overwhelmed with work, housing, emails, people, just everything. I’m a bit better now but still afraid of what tomorrow will bring, always afraid. 

I hope u do get the help u need NJ. Not all counselling is helpful. Sometime we just need to be around people who say the right things to help us cope :hugs:

I'm afraid too.. People are my biggest stressor, but also what I crave the most. I long for support.. As for that.. It's been a long time coming lol. I have the feeling that when I eventually get some I won't need it any more 😕

Present company excluded. DF has been good to me 😇

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17 hours ago, nothing_man said:

That's okay juno. I know what you mean, I do also involve reading all kind of crap sometimes, and I'm honest to myself enough to see that I'm just trying to create "a different feeling" than feeling sad and worthless. Sometimes I seek to get angry at something. It's better than crying sometimes, idk. What I can say, try not hitting yourself for doing that, it's normal to seek for "peace of mind", even if it means to get angry, sometimes that's all the peace we can get. I know it sucks... but the mind drives that way, is the only it can do sometimes to put us away of painful thoughts.

Anger - even fear - is more energizing than sadness. It can keep away the painful thoughts when we have to function, so I do see why that impulse kicks in. Just can't afford to get lost in it.

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14 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

I’m sorry Juno about your Dad 😞 Just wanna say apart from your dad, what u wrote is almost exactly what I feel. I just want to escape, every single minute of the day when my mind starts wondering, I just want to escape from what i am forced to do (which is live) n the consequences is what u mentioned..u just put into words what’s always on my mind.. I think I should start accepting my reality sucks and just cry then maybe I won’t have the desire to escape so much.. I dunno.. 

It's been a while since I've been able to cry. Not sure how much is can't vs won't (who wants to focus more on feeling bad when they already feel so bad), but when I push myself to let go and feel things it feels like touching a flame and pulling back. But then I escape instead, which comes with its costs. I'm sorry that you're feeling some of that too. :hugs:

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12 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Why do we beat ourselves up when we are struggling the most? 🤔 You don't deserve punishment juno, you deserve some reassurance - you're doing a great job 💯

Have you been getting on with betterhelp? 🤔

Thank you. 💛 Beating myself up takes too much energy, so I'm trying not to do that, but also trying not to waste too much energy in other ways. A friend who went through a crisis a few years ago talked about how carefully she guarded her time and energy then. It sounded very kind to herself, actually. That's my goal, to spend it wisely as much as I can.

Got a betterhelp appt tomorrow. Still feeling it out, since the first appts have some formalities. I can't keep up the cost a long time, but it's a worth a try right now. They do have income-based discounts, if that might make it more accessible for you? I think the cost is also less if you don't sign up for video calls, though I really wanted the face-to-face part at least right now.

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Currently spinning out from latest NM harassment. I was chilling out nicely before that. Man, I hope I can survive this time with a nerve intact 🤞

If I do, I only have you guys to thank 🙏

Ps. What does 🙌 mean guys? 

Edited by Nightjar
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33 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Currently spinning out from latest NM harassment. I was chilling out nicely before that. Man, I hope I can survive this time with a nerve intact 🤞

If I do, I only have you guys to thank 🙏

Ps. What does 🙌 mean guys? 

I know how you feel.  I just got through the same thing.  I need to be able to get through it without it affecting me because I don't see any way to avoid it completely.  I have to figure out how to deal with it without it breaking me.  I think 🙌 is like when people raise both hands at a concert.  Do I understand it no.  Would I do it no I would feel uncomfortable around people doing it because it doesn't make sense to me.

Edited by sober4life
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7 minutes ago, sober4life said:

  I need to be able to get through it without it affecting me

I'm working on this in a kind of CBT way eg. Looking at the thoughts that I find overwhelming and trying to go through them one by one. Then, when I've identified the stressful thoughts,  I try to come up with some less stressful thoughts to counteract them.

It does help with the spinning 😘

G'nite folks. 

Edited by Nightjar
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4 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Currently spinning out from latest NM harassment. I was chilling out nicely before that. Man, I hope I can survive this time with a nerve intact 🤞

If I do, I only have you guys to thank 🙏

Ps. What does 🙌 mean guys? 

I take 🙌 as hallelujah, yay, celebration.

Your CBT strategy sounds like a good way to get a little mental distance from your mom and separate her issues from yours.

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Just now, duck said:

headaches two days in a row, no shower for three days,   No energy to do chores. 

Hope you feel better duck.  Any headache that lasts over a day gets real uncomfortable for me too.  I live alone so the three-day shower rule doesn't apply here. 

Bulgakov

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On 10/7/2021 at 6:16 PM, sober4life said:

It's hard not to hate myself today.  An hour and a half and 3 checks.  That's how long it took for me to fill out one bill.

I do the same thing.  That's why I changed all my utility bills over to auto-pay.

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4 hours ago, Steve P said:

I do the same thing.  That's why I changed all my utility bills over to auto-pay.

I did that too.  This is a once a year bill.  The only other option was to call and pay by credit card and the woman that answers the phone is awful.  Why do you use them then?  If I only talked to people I get along with I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone.  I wouldn't even be able to talk to myself anymore.

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