Jump to content

How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

Recommended Posts

9 minutes ago, Svenetc said:

It does not fit anywhere...so I post here I suppose .... 

Hi all, I just wonder and maybe it is off topic. But I wonder - do you decorate your houses and homes when you feel all down and depressed ? I used to decorate for all the holidays when there was a whole family. Now that it is just me and my cats I have no desire - although I miss it. Granted my cats would love decorations ( especially a Christmas tree ) and my youngest son would not mind even though he is 16 ,but love a great ambient surrounding. But it seems like I lost interest doing it for myself. If you do decorate, does it elevate your spirit? or ... Does it take you down memory lane and you sink deeper into being sad and depressed ? I hesitate to try and find out. But Halloween is here, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years just in sight. Thanks

I don't go crazy with decorating.  If I see something I like I get it.  Usually I say yeah people will really think I'm strange if I have that and that's why I get it.  Decorating because it's a certain time of the year doesn't really appeal to me.  I would rather be myself and stand out and make this place my own all year.  I'm absolutely the person that would show up wearing a pirate hat just because I feel like it.  I think just go shopping and finding treasures out there at stores that you didn't expect to get at all that you like.  That makes you feel good.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think the only times I'm happy are when I'm done doing something or that feeling you get when you know you're almost done doing something.  Those are the only times I feel good.  I don't enjoy doing anything anymore.

Edited by sober4life
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, juno_writes said:

Just feeling really really sad about my Dad today. He's barely been eating. I want to do something little in his honor, something to tell him about... think I'll make one of the recipes he used to make and bring him some.

That sounds great juno, I hope he gets better.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

8 hours ago, Svenetc said:

It does not fit anywhere...so I post here I suppose .... 

Hi all, I just wonder and maybe it is off topic. But I wonder - do you decorate your houses and homes when you feel all down and depressed ? I used to decorate for all the holidays when there was a whole family. Now that it is just me and my cats I have no desire - although I miss it. Granted my cats would love decorations ( especially a Christmas tree ) and my youngest son would not mind even though he is 16 ,but love a great ambient surrounding. But it seems like I lost interest doing it for myself. If you do decorate, does it elevate your spirit? or ... Does it take you down memory lane and you sink deeper into being sad and depressed ? I hesitate to try and find out. But Halloween is here, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years just in sight. Thanks

Hi Sven. I don't use to decorate anything honestly, not even for Christmas. But that's me, maybe it helps in your case.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I don't know whether I should try and go home today. I feel like I want to. I'm sick of being in someone else's space. Just scared if I do go home I won't be able to sleep again.

My life feels like complete chaos at the moment. You could argue that I should be used to it by now but the overwhelm feels rough no matter how many times I've felt it before. 

Not enough sleep last night but not surprising since yesterday my head was spinning by the afternoon. I spent too much time alone at my mom's. I think if I'd been out I could have avoided the overwhelm 🤔

 

Edited by Nightjar
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 10/4/2021 at 1:23 AM, duck said:

We like having you on this forum 😀

thank you , and i enjoy being on here with you guys, because you get me more than the doctors ever will, but i dont know if i can do this forever.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am very very overwhelmed. Social media and phone affects me a lot plus all the things happening in my life, but my self control is bad and my self esteem is getting worse. I have bad things n also opportunities happening to me but I’m so overwhelmed I’m falling apart 😞 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Have an appointment to get an echocardiogram. I am struggling to prepare to leave the house. Considering cancelling it. Doc didn't seem super concerned, but ordered it anyways to cover all bases. Lead time for new appointment is a month and a half. I just want to stay home, work on my album, and feel my depression through my art. I haven't worked on it in about 2 weeks, today is the first day i felt the urge to work on it again. right now i'm at about 50/50. Still have close to an hour to decide.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

I am very very overwhelmed. Social media and phone affects me a lot plus all the things happening in my life, but my self control is bad and my self esteem is getting worse. I have bad things n also opportunities happening to me but I’m so overwhelmed I’m falling apart 😞 

It's very hard to find something in this life that just adds to life.  So much of what makes us feel better replaces life and it ruins us.  Social media is like the news they keep us worked up.  Our fear and our anger is what makes them money.  They don't care what they do to us.  They don't care if they ruin the world as long as they keep getting richer and richer.  I'll be honest I've been escaping life for so long I don't have any real interests anymore and I have no idea how to live normal life anymore.

Edited by sober4life
Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, sober4life said:

So much of what makes us feel better replaces life and it ruins us. 

👆my life right now. My Dad's dying, and (in down time when not helping) I am wasting time on THE stupidest online crap. I'm replacing life, which is painful, with something else because it feels better. And to a point, ok, escape can be healthy sometimes. If I could play a game and check out for an hour and come back, no problem. But at this point very little holds my attention enough to be an escape. So I ramp it up and do things like go on political twitter and go looking for things to piss me off, because I'd rather be pissed off than brokenhearted. And of course that just adds stress, anger, and fear at a time when there's already too much -- why isn't it obvious? Honestly, because it's compulsive. I do see how people get sucked into online addictions... guess I am those "people" 🙄 

I don't want to look back and regret spending time and energy on things that not only aren't helpful but run me down more. One of the other things that can still hold my attention is coming here and being reminded how everyone is going through something (and good wishes tonight to all who are 💕). I will try to come here instead, or just sleep, or distract myself with podcasts and cat videos or a mindless drive... 

I need to be here for my family. I need to make decisions with a clear head. 

Edited by juno_writes
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, bellerose said:

Ended up getting to the appointment. 10 min late but they’ll still be able to see me. It was tough to leave, but I know it’ll be worth it. 

Congrats onto that bellerose, at some points, these are really big achievements.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, juno_writes said:

👆my life right now. My Dad's dying, and (in down time when not helping) I am wasting time on THE stupidest online crap. I'm replacing life, which is painful, with something else because it feels better. And to a point, ok, escape can be healthy sometimes. If I could play a game and check out for an hour and come back, no problem. But at this point very little holds my attention enough to be an escape. So I ramp it up and do things like go on political twitter and go looking for things to piss me off, because I'd rather be pissed off than brokenhearted. And of course that just adds stress, anger, and fear at a time when there's already too much -- why isn't it obvious? Honestly, because it's compulsive. I do see how people get sucked into online addictions... guess I am those "people" 🙄 

I don't want to look back and regret spending time and energy on things that not only aren't helpful but run me down more. One of the other things that can still hold my attention is coming here and being reminded how everyone is going through something (and good wishes tonight to all who are 💕). I will try to come here instead, or just sleep, or distract myself with podcasts and cat videos or a mindless drive... 

I need to be here for my family. I need to make decisions with a clear head. 

That's okay juno. I know what you mean, I do also involve reading all kind of crap sometimes, and I'm honest to myself enough to see that I'm just trying to create "a different feeling" than feeling sad and worthless. Sometimes I seek to get angry at something. It's better than crying sometimes, idk. What I can say, try not hitting yourself for doing that, it's normal to seek for "peace of mind", even if it means to get angry, sometimes that's all the peace we can get. I know it sucks... but the mind drives that way, is the only it can do sometimes to put us away of painful thoughts.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

14 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

thank you , and i enjoy being on here with you guys, because you get me more than the doctors ever will, but i dont know if i can do this forever.

:hugs:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, juno_writes said:

👆my life right now. My Dad's dying, and (in down time when not helping) I am wasting time on THE stupidest online crap. I'm replacing life, which is painful, with something else because it feels better. And to a point, ok, escape can be healthy sometimes. If I could play a game and check out for an hour and come back, no problem. But at this point very little holds my attention enough to be an escape. So I ramp it up and do things like go on political twitter and go looking for things to piss me off, because I'd rather be pissed off than brokenhearted. And of course that just adds stress, anger, and fear at a time when there's already too much -- why isn't it obvious? Honestly, because it's compulsive. I do see how people get sucked into online addictions... guess I am those "people" 🙄 

I don't want to look back and regret spending time and energy on things that not only aren't helpful but run me down more. One of the other things that can still hold my attention is coming here and being reminded how everyone is going through something (and good wishes tonight to all who are 💕). I will try to come here instead, or just sleep, or distract myself with podcasts and cat videos or a mindless drive... 

I need to be here for my family. I need to make decisions with a clear head. 

I’m sorry Juno about your Dad 😞 Just wanna say apart from your dad, what u wrote is almost exactly what I feel. I just want to escape, every single minute of the day when my mind starts wondering, I just want to escape from what i am forced to do (which is live) n the consequences is what u mentioned..u just put into words what’s always on my mind.. I think I should start accepting my reality sucks and just cry then maybe I won’t have the desire to escape so much.. I dunno.. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 10/5/2021 at 6:22 PM, sober4life said:

Decorating because it's a certain time of the year doesn't really appeal to me.  I would rather be myself and stand out and make this place my own all year

Thanks sober 🙂 I am actually the same way. I do not decorate because it is a certain time or holiday. I used to pick up stuff at random and use it to decorate. Irritated the hell out of people sometimes but who cares. For example I bought a palm tree and my cat back when chewed off all the leafs ... 5 years later I still had that tree with no leafs but a rope light. I am weird like that. I used to buy fabric and fishing line and create an artificial cloud on my ceiling. All stuff I used to do and never felt weird or bad. Now it is just strange because my kids come here and my house looks the same all year around. No decorations anymore and no personality. Just like me. One event took all out of me and I try to shake that off for almost 2 years now ... That is why I am in here. And all of you are very inspirational. I am thankful for that 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

I am very very overwhelmed. Social media and phone affects me a lot plus all the things happening in my life, but my self control is bad and my self esteem is getting worse. I have bad things n also opportunities happening to me but I’m so overwhelmed I’m falling apart 😞 

I'm feeling overwhelmed too :hugs:Have you gone back to you mil's? Is that why things have worsened? 🤔 It really sucks to be at the mercy of unkind people when you have nowhere else to go..

I'm in the same boat. If I had more money then at least I could get some counselling. But then who am I kidding? I only seem to have enough energy to get the housework done and keep myself just about presentable 🤔

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, juno_writes said:

guess I am those "people" 🙄 

Why do we beat ourselves up when we are struggling the most? 🤔 You don't deserve punishment juno, you deserve some reassurance - you're doing a great job 💯

Have you been getting on with betterhelp? 🤔

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...