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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

Yeah I know.  They all rip us off.  When all the registers go to self checkout though I bet all of our food will be cheaper.  I almost got through that sentence without laughing.

Yeah, I been getting extra free stuff that way for years. Self check out is the bomb.

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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

possible to have a healthy relationship with a friend or family member where both people are getting something positive from the relationship

my sister has depression and maybe bipolar she said. but she has understood me, seen the worst in me. cleaned up after me. she loves me. i love her. we are equals.

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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

I could pretty much go to the grocery store dressed as a bear without any fear because I'll never see them again who cares.

Once during a very severe manic and psychotic episode, I woke up under a bush on the state capital grounds in austin, tx.I had been robbed and beaten because i was living on the street with $2700 lizard boots and two cell phones, a leather harley jacket, carhart jeans, and bikini underwear. Now I had no pants and no bikini just a tiny weenie. So I got up, and my t-shirt kinda was long enough to hide my nakedness. I walked 20 blocks to the soup kitchen where i knew they also had pants and shoes. yeppers peppers i was bare ass naked with no shoes in austin, tx walkinig down the street. I got to the soup kitchen and people were staring at me. i just smiled and held my head up tall. they gave me a pair of sweatpants and some tennis shoes that actually fit. AND I got to get some bread and soup.

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How do people stay sane in this world. You know there's something whether it's drugs or some other bad thing.. Nobody is staying straight. They can't.  What a horrible horrible drawn out sad existence.  

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On 9/24/2021 at 3:41 AM, Nightjar said:

Good morning duck! Thankyou... Sleep isn't great but could be worse. How are you doing today? 🤗

I have a cold so I am in a grumpy mood 😀 I should be okay in a couple of days. 

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On 9/24/2021 at 5:32 AM, sober4life said:

I keep hanging on because of wacky principles I have I guess.  That's about it.  You feel like a strong fighter for a long time but at a certain point you realize your life is like a plane going down into the ocean.  All I'm really doing is hanging on for the final inevitable crash.

Hang in there Sober!  We like you.  👍😀

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On 9/24/2021 at 3:40 PM, JD4010 said:

I've almost run out of money. There's a new homeless encampment set up in a park not too far from here. I often go by it on the way to do my pointless errands.  Right now they are probably feeling relatively OK because it's not too hot nor cold. Soon though, it will be snowing and getting down below 0F.  I have a pair of thickly insulated overalls that could probably keep me from freezing to death. This could well be the year where I find out.

Oh no.   I hope things improve for you soon.  I would hate to see you living outside.  

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Laying here listening to the heavy rain, it's incredibly heavy!

Managed to buy the lumber I need for the next repair on this place, now I just need to find the energy and motivation!

 

 I hope everyone is doing well this weekend!

 

 

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The pain is worse than it's ever been.  I've been burning brush for almost 10 hours now.  I realized I wasn't well enough to do it about 2 hours in so I spent about 4 hours trying to put it out more than anything.  I hate having to burn every single year to clean the place up.  It's not safe at all to have a big fire in your yard but you have no choice.  You have to do it every single year.  Every single time scares me to death.  It always gets way out of control and I barely am able to even do it.  I hate it!

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

It's not safe at all to have a big fire in your yard but you have no choice.  You have to do it every single year.  Every single time scares me to death.  It always gets way out of control and I barely am able to even do it.  I hate i

Sorry you feel that way and deal with it anyway. I love fires.... small or big. I it is burnable I set it on fire. I have a big yard and my fire pit is way away from house or other things. It has just a calming and entertaining effect on me. Sorry it is not your "game" especially if you can hardly handle it to begin with. Get some rest and ease you mind 💫

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4 hours ago, sober4life said:

The pain is worse than it's ever been.  I've been burning brush for almost 10 hours now.  I realized I wasn't well enough to do it about 2 hours in so I spent about 4 hours trying to put it out more than anything.  I hate having to burn every single year to clean the place up.  It's not safe at all to have a big fire in your yard but you have no choice.  You have to do it every single year.  Every single time scares me to death.  It always gets way out of control and I barely am able to even do it.  I hate it!

stay safe please,  what are you burning under brush or just branches and stuff fires can get out of hand quickly, sounds like you're well aware of that though, i would be way too nervous to even try doing that, 

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8 hours ago, surfcaster said:

stay safe please,  what are you burning under brush or just branches and stuff fires can get out of hand quickly, sounds like you're well aware of that though, i would be way too nervous to even try doing that, 

The thing that made things the worst was the pine tree on the bottom of the pile.  It's been a nightmare since I got here as far as burning goes.  I wouldn't be surprised if all or most of this property was a cow pasture at one point so nothing grows well here.  I'm constantly taking down trees.  When you have no money you have to take it all down here and burn it here.  There's no other way.  You know those creepy places that always seem to be windy like old cemeteries?  That's what it's like here.  It's always windy so that makes things even worse.

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This is really dumb but dating scares me and not just because of the ongoing pandemic. I suffer from anxiety and it sometimes gives me a fatal case of verbal diarrhea.

My biggest fear is that I'll meet a girl and have that happen to the point where I propose on the first date. And if that does happen, how do I recover from it?

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I feel dead inside. I ended things with my friends with benefit yesterday but my hurt isn't even about him. It's more like the hope I had. I liked him but I knew it wouldn't go any further than that. I knew that from the start. He was very honest with me and I knew what I was signing up for. In the back of my mind I really wanted a relationship with him to get my mind off of my ex. FYI it didn't work. It helped distract me from my ex from time to time but I still anyways thought about her regardless. I don't recommend trying to distract yourself with another person. You just end up getting heartbroken twice...at the same time. I hope one day I can get over all the people in my past. I know deep down I'm not over her because I haven't fully accepted it even though it's been 5 years. Because I truly loved her and we were best friends since childhood. FYI I don't recommend ever dating your best friend either. Please learn from my mistakes to save yourself the heartache.

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19 hours ago, Svenetc said:

Sorry you feel that way and deal with it anyway. I love fires.... small or big. I it is burnable I set it on fire. I have a big yard and my fire pit is way away from house or other things. It has just a calming and entertaining effect on me. Sorry it is not your "game" especially if you can hardly handle it to begin with. Get some rest and ease you mind 💫

People won't believe me.  I've never really been religious but since I've been on my own I believe more and more.  Mom was at the bed with me when I was sick.  Also when things get really bad in my life butterflies always show up as well.  She loved butterflies.  Things were pretty much over as far as the fire goes and I said I wish I could have a hug from mom right now and she could tell me everything would be ok.  Right when I said that a single butterfly flew over the fire and from that point on I had control of the fire.

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4 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Oh no, what's happened duck? :hugs:

Nothing great happened that's why I am complaining 😀

I have been up all night paying bills online and reading short articles.  I guess it is okay because I slept too much over the past three days.  

How are you ?

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Honestly, as much as I love Criminal Minds, some of Jane’s episodes are too much for me to handle cause I can’t even bear to see her characters hurt in general.

I know none of the things that happen are real and that she’s fine, but it still hurts like it would if it was. Is that weird?

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2 hours ago, DialAForAlan said:

Honestly, as much as I love Criminal Minds, some of Jane’s episodes are too much for me to handle cause I can’t even bear to see her characters hurt in general.

I know none of the things that happen are real and that she’s fine, but it still hurts like it would if it was. Is that weird?

I agree.  I have schizophrenia so it makes it hard to watch her character playing that role.  It's awful having what I have and the idea that it is hard to watch her play the role is because she plays the role very well.  It shows she is a great actress.

Edited by sober4life
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3 hours ago, duck said:

Nothing great happened that's why I am complaining 😀

I have been up all night paying bills online and reading short articles.  I guess it is okay because I slept too much over the past three days.  

How are you ?

I'm doing ok today 😊 I had a full day's rest yesterday and it helped a lot 👌

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