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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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i am slowly trying to pick up the pieces and get back into my normal self. it's not easy..i ended up at the ER , then the hospital....my doctor wants me to continue with therapy and look at more intense options of programs because medications aren't working for me..so we're looking into that..im just so tired of nothing working for this illness..none of the medications, i just want a tiny relief but i can't seem to find any..

sorry i couldn't reply i didnt have access ..i hope everyone is doing OK!

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27 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

i am slowly trying to pick up the pieces and get back into my normal self. it's not easy..i ended up at the ER , then the hospital....my doctor wants me to continue with therapy and look at more intense options of programs because medications aren't working for me..so we're looking into that..im just so tired of nothing working for this illness..none of the medications, i just want a tiny relief but i can't seem to find any..

sorry i couldn't reply i didnt have access ..i hope everyone is doing OK!

I'm just glad you're ok.  I know how you feel believe me.  I have accepted there is no help for me and I've just decided to live with myself as is.  I've tried everything they have to offer and well I'll never be like the group.  I'll be the strange outsider everywhere I go until the end.  I'm honestly ok with that.  

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38 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

i am slowly trying to pick up the pieces and get back into my normal self. it's not easy..i ended up at the ER , then the hospital....my doctor wants me to continue with therapy and look at more intense options of programs because medications aren't working for me..so we're looking into that..im just so tired of nothing working for this illness..none of the medications, i just want a tiny relief but i can't seem to find any..

sorry i couldn't reply i didnt have access ..i hope everyone is doing OK!

I am happy to hear from you 😀  I hope you meet a therapist you connect with. 

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On 9/12/2021 at 11:09 AM, sober4life said:

I'm very proud of you.  You sold the house quicker than anyone I've ever heard of.  My suggestion is to get a house like mine out in the country where you can live among the animals like me.  You would love living in a place like this. 

Thankyou! I would love to live in the country. I did before I lived here. I've been looking at houses out there online 😊 

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On 9/12/2021 at 2:25 PM, juno_writes said:

Whattt? A *big* pat on the back for making that decision and getting it done so fast!! That's awesome! 🤗🎉

😂 I know. I whacked it on the market on Thursday and sold it by Saturday 🤪 Cheers 😅

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17 hours ago, duck said:

Sorry to hear you had no sleep.   Happy to hear you sold your house.  😀👍 So you will be moving to a new place?

Cheers duck. Yep, I'll be moving to a new place but am staying with mom 😬 before that. It seemed like the safest option. I got some sleep last night thankfully 😴 How r u doing? 

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On 9/11/2021 at 1:31 PM, sober4life said:

They want to have most people vaccinated by the end of the summer so they can have most people take booster shots by the end of winter.  They're keeping the promise to the pharmaceutical companies to scare us enough to make the shot an every year thing.  Poll numbers are slipping right now because they went against the war machine so I figure we'll go to war with someone in the spring to shift the talks to something else.  War will be what ends the pandemic.  That's my take on things.

 

There's some articles circulating today with a recording of several doctors sitting around discussing plans for "being scarier" to more people to boost people's desire to take the jab. That's called gaslighting, ladies and gentleman. I do NOT trust the medical industry, nor big government. When you combine the two, you have a deadly combo capable of all kinds of nastiness. 

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I went for a very long walk today. Potentially not wanting to return. And the only one that cared was a dog that greeted me about 20 miles in...
I heard a patter of feet and looked back, it was a large dog. She came up to me and licked my fingers and pressed herself against me wagging her tail.
I petted her and told her to go back, she didn't... she followed me for over a mile. At first sneakily then she sort of bounced around when I looked at her ... kinda like showing her territory.
This is a mailbox, this is the rock, this is the stick... c'mon sad limping human, life ain't so bad.

All the way to the junction and I did actually feel better... dogs are good people.

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On 9/10/2021 at 8:11 PM, sober4life said:

I'm ok.  I'll never give up.  It's hard though.  I used to think I was paranoid but the longer I live the more I realize everything really is a conspiracy.:sniffle1:

"Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't out to get you." One of my favorite bumper stickers of all time. I happen to agree that almost everything is a conspiracy. We are living in a society fashioned by the likes of Edward Bernays.

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5 minutes ago, APFSDS said:

All the way to the junction and I did actually feel better... dogs are good people.

Dogs and cats are not full of guile and greed like human beings. Their love is pure and without expectation.

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1 hour ago, ladysmurf said:

i am slowly trying to pick up the pieces and get back into my normal self. it's not easy..i ended up at the ER , then the hospital....my doctor wants me to continue with therapy and look at more intense options of programs because medications aren't working for me..so we're looking into that..im just so tired of nothing working for this illness..none of the medications, i just want a tiny relief but i can't seem to find any..

sorry i couldn't reply i didnt have access ..i hope everyone is doing OK!

Wow! It's great to hear from you. There were a bunch of us worried about you here. Glad you're posting again.

Best wishes!

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51 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Thankyou! I would love to live in the country. I did before I lived here. I've been looking at houses out there online 😊 

I accidentally saw a show last night about houses in the UK.  The show was filmed in 2016 but I still enjoyed it.  A couple were looking for houses in Cheshire.  There were sheep, horses, and ducks in the large yards.  😀

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Woke up early, feeling ready to get going...when I started to move, I couldn't. Just could not work up the motivation to move.

So now I am stressing about how much more work I'll have to do tomorrow to get back on track.

Questioning if it's even worth the effort 

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3 hours ago, duck said:

I accidentally saw a show last night about houses in the UK.  The show was filmed in 2016 but I still enjoyed it.  A couple were looking for houses in Cheshire.  There were sheep, horses, and ducks in the large yards.  😀

Was it called 'Escape to the country' by any chance? I love that show. By the way, houses like that in the UK are only for the mega rich... We don't have much space over here so every bit of it costs about 10 times more than anywhere else 🤔

Glad you enjoyed the show 😁

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The dreaded dental procedure I feared has been moved up to tomorrow.  I am sitting here trying to distract myself while I stew in my own anxiety juices.  Laser gum surgery tomorrow and follow up appointments in two weeks and then in a month, another month, six months. 

I need to be on a liquid diet for at least four days.  Am supposed to live on smoothies.  Not having tried smoothies, I bought a Ninja food processor blender and have all the ingredients to make smoothies now. I was expecting to have about a month to learn how to do it but I will have to learn as I go now.  Commercial smoothies have too much sugar.

After all the dental pain I had this year, I am not exactly jumping for joy at the prospect of getting more dental work. 

Hugs to everyone.

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On 9/11/2021 at 10:51 AM, Nightjar said:

You can keep in touch with us if you do and we will continue to support you. If you think it may help, why not? Or maybe go home for a bit?? 

Hugs :hugs:

Thanks nightjar ❤️

I couldnt make the decision, it feels to big and scary, and I dont know what will happen I don't know if it will help. I told my friend how badly ive been doing and she's called a few times to check on me so thats been nice. Last week I took 20 lorazepam (not at once!) but over a few days.. I sort of almost OD'd but not really. I wasnt trying to, I just wanted to escape me head and my thoughts for a few moments. I have this work application I need to put in and im telling myself once ive put it in ill call the hospital and say I think im a danger to myself so they can take the reigns for a bit.. life is too overwhelming, im not sure if I want to die I dont think I do, im just sad and helpless and scared and I dont know what sort of help I need but know I need it but I cant give it to myself. I can't do it anymore. Ive thought of going home for a bit but my city is currently in lockdown and my mum lives in another city so I cant travel atm.

So, another dreary day. I didnt sleep much last night and I keep having nightmares that I cant wake up from and when I do I fall back asleep into them.. they're pretty intense and scary and way to messed up and triggering to describe on here. Im a helpless mess. 

Also, congrats on selling your house! I hope staying with your mum isnt too dreadful.. 🙂

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5 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Was it called 'Escape to the country' by any chance? I love that show. By the way, houses like that in the UK are only for the mega rich... We don't have much space over here so every bit of it costs about 10 times more than anywhere else 🤔

Glad you enjoyed the show 😁

I don’t remember the name of the show but the  buyers were willing to spend over six hundred thousand pounds so yes it is for the mega rich.  

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27 minutes ago, Epictetus said:

The dreaded dental procedure I feared has been moved up to tomorrow.  I am sitting here trying to distract myself while I stew in my own anxiety juices.  Laser gum surgery tomorrow and follow up appointments in two weeks and then in a month, another month, six months. 

I need to be on a liquid diet for at least four days.  Am supposed to live on smoothies.  Not having tried smoothies, I bought a Ninja food processor blender and have all the ingredients to make smoothies now. I was expecting to have about a month to learn how to do it but I will have to learn as I go now.  Commercial smoothies have too much sugar.

When I finally got the dental surgery (thank you covid) I lived on Carnation Breakfast Essentials, cream of chicken soup, mashed potatoes & scrambled eggs for about 2 months. And I still drink  breakfast everyday.  Best of luck tomorrow. I will be thinking of you.

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concerned for my niece. Applied for a job. feeling anxiety over both.

I have read what everyone has been posting the past couple of days. I wish I had the magic that would let us all feel good about ourselves. 

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1 hour ago, Epictetus said:

The dreaded dental procedure I feared has been moved up to tomorrow.  I am sitting here trying to distract myself while I stew in my own anxiety juices.  Laser gum surgery tomorrow and follow up appointments in two weeks and then in a month, another month, six months. 

I need to be on a liquid diet for at least four days.  Am supposed to live on smoothies.  Not having tried smoothies, I bought a Ninja food processor blender and have all the ingredients to make smoothies now. I was expecting to have about a month to learn how to do it but I will have to learn as I go now.  Commercial smoothies have too much sugar.

After all the dental pain I had this year, I am not exactly jumping for joy at the prospect of getting more dental work. 

Hugs to everyone.

I need the dentist but cant afford it and am to scared of the cost and surgery ill need. Hope it goes well and the smoothy making takes off. Ive found really delicious combinations of fruit and raw veggies (apple + celery + spinach, orange + pineapple were my favorite) when I was going down the path of "raw vegan" a few years ago

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