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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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@JD4010 on the weekends we only have 2 workers for 100 room hospital /departments and it's hard disgusting awful work. They can't keep anybody at all. I mean nobody! I'm a fool for crushing my soul with this type work. 

 

Edited by watalife
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1 hour ago, JD4010 said:

I wish I knew what their end goal with all of this is...one thing we do know for sure is that the power/money-seeking sociopaths don't care about us hoi-polloi.

They want to have most people vaccinated by the end of the summer so they can have most people take booster shots by the end of winter.  They're keeping the promise to the pharmaceutical companies to scare us enough to make the shot an every year thing.  Poll numbers are slipping right now because they went against the war machine so I figure we'll go to war with someone in the spring to shift the talks to something else.  War will be what ends the pandemic.  That's my take on things.

 

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4 hours ago, monicott17 said:

I can relate. I have almost zero trust in anyone or anything, especially people who are in positions of power and leadership. Things are already bad enough and will get much worse I am afraid before they get better. I am geniunely afraid because there is something I chose not to do and lets just say, it is not the “acceptable” choice in the eyes of others and they want to cause problems for me.

I'm making whatever choice I want.  Nobody will make me do anything.  Anyone with any real sense says I want my friends and everyone I care about to get through this however they can.  I don't care how.  I just want them to survive.

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1 hour ago, JD4010 said:

Bookstores are a kind of Nirvana for me. Fortunately my daughter works in one. In fact. she's done working there in two hours and I have to pick her up. I'll get there early so I can browse for a bit.

Books are our father/daughter hobby. We took a road trip earlier in the week to visit bookstores in another part of the state.

They'll never be able to replicate that feeling we get when we go into a bookstore.  It's like the feeling you get when you walk into a giant arcade.  Is it the same as video games here at the house?  Of course not!

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9 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Bookstores are a kind of Nirvana for me.

I feel that way about the library.  The lockdown shut down the library & I went thru withdrawal.

I'm trying not to feel anything for the next week.  My niece is leaving on Tuesday, her fiancé feels that they should meet with the family before she walks away from them. Somehow I have become her confessor & was asked if they can  meet at my house.  (my house is supposedly cleaner - meaning you can actually sit on the furniture). I need a job & am considering returning to childcare (Its what I have the most experience in & can always find a childcare job). The arthritis is acting up & the eczema has my left foot swollen from the inflammation.  So yep, I'm not going to feel anything next week. 

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Still no sleep for me.... Well, 4 hours last night. Better than nothing. I sold my house yesterday after an open house which I did by myself so I guess I had reason to be fired up and maybe deserve a bit of a pat on the back(?) 🤔

I'm going to do my absolute best to get some adrenaline out of my system today. If anyone has any tips for destressing from extreme stress I'm all ears 👂

Oh, stayed at narc mom's again last night as I keep getting disturbed by my neighbours. Staying here is scary in itself but I guess I survived 30 years of it in the past, so maybe I'll survive again for a little bit 😬

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Still no sleep for me.... Well, 4 hours last night. Better than nothing. I sold my house yesterday after an open house which I did by myself so I guess I had reason to be fired up and maybe deserve a bit of a pat on the back(?) 🤔

I'm going to do my absolute best to get some adrenaline out of my system today. If anyone has any tips for destressing from extreme stress I'm all ears 👂

Oh, stayed at narc mom's again last night as I keep getting disturbed by my neighbours. Staying here is scary in itself but I guess I survived 30 years of it in the past, so maybe I'll survive again for a little bit 😬

I'm very proud of you.  You sold the house quicker than anyone I've ever heard of.  My suggestion is to get a house like mine out in the country where you can live among the animals like me.  You would love living in a place like this. 

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5 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Still no sleep for me.... Well, 4 hours last night. Better than nothing. I sold my house yesterday after an open house which I did by myself so I guess I had reason to be fired up and maybe deserve a bit of a pat on the back(?) 🤔

Whattt? A *big* pat on the back for making that decision and getting it done so fast!! That's awesome! 🤗🎉

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Pretty down and sad about things…this is the usual, especially on Sundays but today moreso because it is has been a rough few days.  It is pretty dark and overcast also. My therapist always says I can reach out to him via the app if I need anything before my weekly appt. Might have to do that. Something continues to nag at me and I don’t really have anyone in real life to discuss it with because I will be judged or invalidated for thinking the way I do.

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38 minutes ago, monicott17 said:

I don’t really have anyone in real life to discuss it with because I will be judged or invalidated for thinking the way I do.

Same here. It’s a horrible feeling when people around me dont understand me, especially if it’s my own family whom I can’t get away from.

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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4 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

And I keep blaming myself for putting myself this way.

You can't be responsible for kidney disease or a virus. Mental Illness is like that. chemical imbalances, trauma, etc. are the blame. You are not the blame. Especially depression is not something you can just think positive away. Be good to yourself. Do one thing today that is kind to yourself.

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On 9/10/2021 at 5:41 PM, surfcaster said:

doing ok i guess, still painting in the house, hate painting, would rather stick a pick in my eye, LOL, it was quiet this week, but i hope that means everyone was occupied and feeling good

How much more painting do you have left?

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13 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Still no sleep for me.... Well, 4 hours last night. Better than nothing. I sold my house yesterday after an open house which I did by myself so I guess I had reason to be fired up and maybe deserve a bit of a pat on the back(?) 🤔

I'm going to do my absolute best to get some adrenaline out of my system today. If anyone has any tips for destressing from extreme stress I'm all ears 👂

Oh, stayed at narc mom's again last night as I keep getting disturbed by my neighbours. Staying here is scary in itself but I guess I survived 30 years of it in the past, so maybe I'll survive again for a little bit 😬

Sorry to hear you had no sleep.   Happy to hear you sold your house.  😀👍 So you will be moving to a new place?

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1 hour ago, Bbqdad said:

You can't be responsible for kidney disease or a virus. Mental Illness is like that. chemical imbalances, trauma, etc. are the blame. You are not the blame. Especially depression is not something you can just think positive away. Be good to yourself. Do one thing today that is kind to yourself.

Thank u I needed this reminder 😭

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8 hours ago, Bbqdad said:

I think right now I would like to go to St Louis to see my two daughters. It's been 2 years. 😞

Go for it.  You will be happy you did 😀

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13 hours ago, sober4life said:

The pandemic has made me realize I don't belong in this world.  I never was a part of things so people won't miss me when I fully cut myself off from society.

🤗 

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