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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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Good morning everyone!    I am going to bed soon.  It is 5 am my time.   I was checking my credit card accounts to see if hackers got in.   

Later today I am seeing my therapist and ophthalmologist.   I don't like going to eye doctors.

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Has anyone heard from ladysmurf ???     I have not heard from her for several weeks. I am worried about her.

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Feeling hopeless again, need to make changes in my life but its difficult to muster up any motivation. Therapy has just hit a roadblock after making such great progress. 

I hate me.

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Feel worried about my health. I haven't been having routine tests for years... It seems like a miracle if I attend some sort of appointment these days.... I just, kind of stopped going 🤷‍♀️  somewhere amongst the general chaos and drama of my life. There are things that need to be addressed which I'm just ignoring. I also haven't been for the vaccine... That was purely an access issue.... I couldn't do the drive... Because anxiety... Otherwise I would have gone. 

 

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20 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Feel worried about my health. I haven't been having routine tests for years... It seems like a miracle if I attend some sort of appointment these days.... I just, kind of stopped going 🤷‍♀️  somewhere amongst the general chaos and drama of my life. There are things that need to be addressed which I'm just ignoring. I also haven't been for the vaccine... That was purely an access issue.... I couldn't do the drive... Because anxiety... Otherwise I would have gone. 

 

It's the same story for me.  The only doctor I've gone to since mom got sick is an eye doctor because I ran out of contacts.  It's because I don't trust anyone.

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Just now, sober4life said:

It's the same story for me.  The only doctor I've gone to since mom got sick is an eye doctor because I ran out of contacts.  It's because I don't trust anyone.

Yeah, I'm very wary of medication and I don't trust doctors 100% either.. They can only ever give you an opinion. And I would probably rather die than experience certain procedures 😬

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15 hours ago, duck said:

Has anyone heard from ladysmurf ???     I have not heard from her for several weeks. I am worried about her.

Could it be she sought certified professional help elsewhere? Is limited what we are able to get from DF

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15 hours ago, sober4life said:

No I haven't heard from her.  I'm worried about her too.:sniffle1:

Ladysmurf and I used to PM each other often. I don’t know what happened! 😢

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46 minutes ago, DialAForAlan said:

I think I might have gotten this whole "crush" thing backwards somehow cause the more unavailable the woman, the stronger the attraction I feel for them. 

Same thing happens to me from time to time.  I cannot help myself!

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39 minutes ago, duck said:

Same thing happens to me from time to time.  I cannot help myself!

Yeah, but for me it's a constant thing. Even when I thought I was straight/bi, I still felt a lot more for the ones I couldn't have rather than the ones I could. Maybe I'm just not meant for a relationship.

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13 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Yeah, I'm very wary of medication and I don't trust doctors 100% either.. They can only ever give you an opinion. And I would probably rather die than experience certain procedures 😬

They were to the point of putting me away and throwing away the key 5 years ago.  The last time I was in the hospital they made me think I had all kinds of options so they gave me mostly fake brochures for places I could go to.  Only one place really existed.  They were going to try to force me to go to that place.  They released me saying I had to get in contact with the place.  I keep forgetting to make that call.🙄

Edited by sober4life
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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

They were to the point of putting me away and throwing away the key 5 years ago.  The last time I was in the hospital they made me think I had all kinds of options so they gave me mostly fake brochures for places I could go to.  Only one place really existed.  They were going to try to force me to go to that place.  They released me saying I had to get in contact with the place.  I keep forgetting to make that call.🙄

Yikes 😬 Well I'm truly grateful that you listened to you and not them. You provide so much support here, I don't know what we do without you!! 😳

PS. I'm firing up my mower in a minute!! Are you still mowing today? 😁 

Edited by Nightjar
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10 hours ago, user1492 said:

Today is a really bad day 😞

I really wish I hadn't gotten out of bed, made it through the work day, now i'm laying in bed again and it sucks.

 

I feel you. Hope that soon you can have a day or two to do whatever you want :hugs:

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Raining for the third day.  Not like New York/ New Jersey but it is dull and dreary.  

Good morning Sober!

Good afternoon Nightjar!

Good morning to everyone 😀

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6 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Yikes 😬 Well I'm truly grateful that you listened to you and not them. You provide so much support here, I don't know what we do without you!! 😳

PS. I'm firing up my mower in a minute!! Are you still mowing today? 😁 

Yeah I mowed today.  My mower got stuck and I had to push it and I threw my back out.  I have a family reunion on Saturday and on Monday.  Fun times.  At a certain point all your life is is talking about getting hurt or getting sick.

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Morning everyone. I'm still tired, but coping well enough I suppose. I mowed my lawn yesterday and cooked at my house. Then I came back to mom's to get some sleep 😬 I might try to get back to mine and sleep there in a couple of days 🤔 I still have to speak to the neighbour about the noise  to try and improve the situation 😬

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Had trouble falling asleep last night.  This always seems to happen when I eat too many salty foods.  I sleep fine when I limit my sodium intake and I know sodium is a stimulant.  When will I learn?  Hope today will be a good one.

Sending good thought to all of you!

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