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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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11 hours ago, Epictetus said:

Seems like we're never going to get a handle on the SARS-CoVid.  I am afraid of going out even though I had both vaccination shots.  Several years ago I got the flu and it almost killed me and I had the flu vaccine.  Hard to keep my morale up these days.  Sending hugs to anyone of you who needs one. 

You are right.  Now they are talking about booster shots.     I hope this ends soon. 

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I get to a point where I start thinking everything that happens could be an evil move by the government even to the point of saying oh no they figured out a way to control the weather with the hurricane.  I'm sure a lot of people get to that point.  There's no reason to trust or believe any of them are there to help me.  Any time I hear a speech it feels like Skeletor or some other villain is up there.  It's sad really but I have no faith in any of them anymore.

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12 hours ago, nojoy said:

I've had both shots but still wear a mask whenever I go out, especially with the increase in the Delta variant. My brother keeps saying we don't need to wear a mask since we've had both shots - this bit of advice comes from a man who has been diagnosed with COPD in the last year.  

Thanks for the hugs, sure needed it.
 

I know 2 people that were vaccinated and still got the virus recently.  

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I feel very content,  calm, optimistic,  productive,  and great for a couple days now. My heart feels lighter and not hurting much. So even if it doesn't last I got some peace for a while from the first time in years.

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52 minutes ago, user1492 said:

 I am fighting an urge to call my ex.

Over two years no-contact...

She is a full on narcisist:(

I don't know how they do it completely but they are able to make people addicted to them like they're a drug.  I have never wanted to go back to people like that.  I feel a need to.  I feel drawn back.  It feels just like a drug craving.

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32 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I don't know how they do it completely but they are able to make people addicted to them like they're a drug.  I have never wanted to go back to people like that.  I feel a need to.  I feel drawn back.  It feels just like a drug craving.

100% they are an addiction!!

Unlike 'normal' people they manipulate you to experience the limits of your emotions....both good and bad.

And like an addiction, that craving pops up from time to time

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32 minutes ago, user1492 said:

And like an addiction, that craving pops up from time to time

Every once in awhile I will get an email from my ex saying something to try and make me mad and instigate a reaction and reply. I have tried hard to ignore these and not respond. If I was going to respond I would only do it over the phone as I don't want to have anything I say in written form. Especially if it involves some sort of argument.

But the old addiction pulls and I want to engage so bad, but I don't.

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I don't have the strength.  I still do addictive things.  I just do different addictive things.  Yes I'm sober but it still has the feeling of when I tried to hide my drinking.  It's an illusion.  I'm just as sick now as I used to be but things appear to be better but they're not.

Edited by sober4life
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I was going to write a long post but I just don't have the time nor energy. 

The past few months since I was infected with COVID-19 have been very difficult. From brain fog to extreme exhaustion and fatigue that never seems to go away with rest. All on top of my second bout of depression in my life. 

It's exhausting trying to keep up with a job at the same time. 

My body is so tired. 

 

 

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It was a slow and mellow day for me today.  It is great when those come along.  Right now I am watching an old movie called "Gorky Park."  It wasn't filmed in Russia but reminds me of my time there.  So many memories.  Sending warm greetings to all DF friends and hugs to those who need them. 

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Tired I guess, even though I'm finally getting more sleep.. Not surprising I guess considering how much sleep I missed out on. I don't know what to do with myself today..I feel like I have to get out for a few hours otherwise I am just stuck around my mom for too long.. So I guess I'll get in my car and go somewhere.... Have a good day homies ✌️

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23 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

Everyone who has the strength to pull away from the cravings and addictions are amazing people. I’m one of those who cant 🥲

Same. I think I realize deep down my extreme caffeine addiction is a giant contributor to my anxiety but there is no way I can quit it. It is literally one of the only things that brings me any sort of contentment. Knowing me, I’d pick something else (probably something worse) to become addicted to.

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On 8/30/2021 at 9:15 AM, sober4life said:

I get to a point where I start thinking everything that happens could be an evil move by the government even to the point of saying oh no they figured out a way to control the weather with the hurricane.  I'm sure a lot of people get to that point.  There's no reason to trust or believe any of them are there to help me.  Any time I hear a speech it feels like Skeletor or some other villain is up there.  It's sad really but I have no faith in any of them anymore.

I always was kind of “out there” and questioned things. A number of  events over the past year or so have made me a full blown cynic and my trust issues are deeper than they ever have been. I question everything. And by everything…I mean everything!!

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Struggling with work again. Lacking motivation and feeling overwhelmed by even simple tasks. Tasks I have done many times without a second thought. My work is sloppy…I make careless errors that I notice and probably others have caught as well. I don’t want to go above and beyond the bare minimum required of me. It didn’t use to be this way…when I first started at this job and my previous one, I dove into the work and wanted to learn new things and to assist others. Now? I am just going through the motions and becoming even more miserable and cynical with each passing day.

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39 minutes ago, monicott17 said:

Struggling with work again. Lacking motivation and feeling overwhelmed by even simple tasks. Tasks I have done many times without a second thought. My work is sloppy…I make careless errors that I notice and probably others have caught as well. I don’t want to go above and beyond the bare minimum required of me. It didn’t use to be this way…when I first started at this job and my previous one, I dove into the work and wanted to learn new things and to assist others. Now? I am just going through the motions and becoming even more miserable and cynical with each passing day.

I hate it when I am like that 😞

They made me take a week off - infortunately the lack of routine really messed with my head...I think i do need to take a LOT more time away from work, right now I have enough saved up to retire and live comfortably for about a week....

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5 hours ago, monicott17 said:

I always was kind of “out there” and questioned things. A number of  events over the past year or so have made me a full blown cynic and my trust issues are deeper than they ever have been. I question everything. And by everything…I mean everything!!

Today the power was out for 5 hours.  Did the storm knock out the power or did they use the storm as an excuse to turn off the power to do scheduled maintenance?  It's very easy to feel this way in this world.  I don't trust anyone.

Edited by sober4life
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21 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Oh no! Do you think you might have pulled something? Hugs :hugs:

Sometimes I feel like I pulled a muscle but other times it just feels sore between my shoulder blades.  

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10 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Well, I feel pretty sad this evening but I had a good afternoon and that's enough for me to call it a successful day 🤔

Sorry to hear you were feeling sad.   

I will be seeing my therapist and ophthalmologist later today Wednesday.

 

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