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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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21 hours ago, APFSDS said:

I feel like I've been living in a fantasy land. All my thoughts and assumptions were bullshit. 🙂

I think the only real reason I'm still here is because I live the majority of my life in a fantasy land.  Real is whatever my mind says is real at the time.

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On 8/25/2021 at 6:39 AM, sober4life said:

I got most of them at Dollar General and Walmart while doing my regular shopping.  I think a lot of it is me seeing shows from my childhood I haven't seen in a long time and that's why I get a lot of them.  Some were new.  Some were used.  I just want to relive the times of my childhood and the only good times was when I was sitting in front of a screen watching tv or playing some video games.  It's an escape from this hell of adulthood.

I've got a collection of DVDs of shows from my "golden years" of the early to mid-1970s. I have a lot of newer stuff too, mostly sci-fi like Stargate and The Expanse.

i was hoping I could stay in all day and watch stuff but my daughter needs to go pick up a new pair of glasses. Because of her severe prescription, they cost $1000. She can't drive so I'm driving her there and paying for the new spectacles.

Edited by JD4010
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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

I think the only real reason I'm still here is because I live the majority of my life in a fantasy land.  Real is whatever my mind says is real at the time.

Same here. I try to actively resist whatever passes for "general reality." I don't want to be a part of the greed and violence. Therefore, I wander around in my own fantasy as much as possible.

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5 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I've got a collection of DVDs of shows from my "golden years" of the early to mid-1970s. I have a lot of newer stuff too, mostly sci-fi like Stargate and The Expanse.

i was hoping I could stay in all day and watch stuff but my daughter needs to go pick up a new pair of glasses. Because of her severe prescription, they cost $1000. She can't drive so I'm driving her there and paying for the new spectacles.

Fond memories of the Stargate series... If only we could ascend and dispense with this world, though I never got a real sense of what sorts of issues might arise on that higher plane of existence (or even what it was, exactly).

Would those glasses cost the same in Canada? Sounds like a case of profiteering in the US healthcare system (what else is new?), unless it's a rare case of the cost being justified.

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The more you need something the more they will charge.  A pair of glasses probably costs them a couple of dollars to make.  I don't know how some people live with themselves.  I don't know how they sleep.  I get more disgusted with this world every day.

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23 hours ago, Charlee said:

Feeling like you're not suffering enough to need help or are "to privileged" to suffer is a struggle in itself.

This is so true. It’s upsetting that what we r suffering can’t be seen and how bad must it get or how bad has it already gotten but we can’t even see it 😞 The stigma is so real at workplaces. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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12 minutes ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

This is so true. It’s upsetting that what we r suffering can’t be seen and how bad must it get or how bad has it already gotten but we can’t even see it 😞 The stigma is so real at workplaces. 

I know, my boss is really good and makes an effort in trying to help but there's only so much he can do. With work he can be understanding but you still have to produce the results right so what else is there. I dont know.

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Sometimes I think I'm too picky about what I want in a future girlfriend even though I know I shouldn't settle for the first one who comes along.

I just want to be loved the way I love and not have to question everything or feel like they'll leave as soon as they can.

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On 8/26/2021 at 10:03 AM, JD4010 said:

Same here. I try to actively resist whatever passes for "general reality." I don't want to be a part of the greed and violence. Therefore, I wander around in my own fantasy as much as possible.

Maybe we all need to check into the Hotel California. You can check out anytime but you can never leave.

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On 8/25/2021 at 10:44 PM, Charlee said:

I took on the belief that "there's always someone who's got it worse" so I'm reminding myself of my privilege while also validating my own struggles. Feeling like you're not suffering enough to need help or are "to privileged" to suffer is a struggle in itself.

There will also always be someone who's got it better, but we'd never use that as a reason to invalidate someone's happiness. 

Some people think that depression is self-pity. I'm well aware that I won the lottery at birth just by being born when and where I was. Just wish I could make more effective use of it.

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8 hours ago, Epictetus said:

I am weary from the weight of things.  Those things are not that heavy but with depression, even the lightest things can be quite burdensome.  Hugs to everyone who needs one!

Thanks Epictetus!

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23 hours ago, sober4life said:

The more you need something the more they will charge.  A pair of glasses probably costs them a couple of dollars to make.  I don't know how some people live with themselves.  I don't know how they sleep.  I get more disgusted with this world every day.

Agreed!  Most people are greedy!  They want more and more.  

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Does having an addictive personality my whole life mean everything addictive helps or does it mean nothing has helped so far and my whole life has been me searching for the first thing that helps?

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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

Does having an addictive personality my whole life mean everything addictive helps or does it mean nothing has helped so far and my whole life has been me searching for the first thing that helps?

I don't know the answer to that but it's definitely made you wiser. You seem to know how the brain works better than most 🤔

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A bad night's sleep again last night. I'm really not doing well this year. I'm not giving up yet but I feel very stuck currently. Lack of sleep makes it hard to imagine making positive changes. I hope things improve soon 🙏🙏🙏

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15 hours ago, duck said:

Agreed!  Most people are greedy!  They want more and more.  

Just take cigarettes as an example of how greedy they are.  I remember when a carton of cigarettes was under 20 dollars.  I bet in my lifetime I will see a pack for 20 dollars.  I saw $8.08 today.

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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

Just take cigarettes as an example of how greedy they are.  I remember when a carton of cigarettes was under 20 dollars.  I bet in my lifetime I will see a pack for 20 dollars.  I saw $8.08 today.

Supposedly the gubmint slapped on some big fees on tobacco to discourage its sale. As usual, it has a disproportionate impact on low income people.

"Them what has, gets."

Edited by JD4010
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32 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

Supposedly the gubmint slapped on some big fees on tobacco to discourage its sale. As usual, it has a disproportionate impact on low income people.

"Them what has, gets."

That's what they say to us.  What they say to each other is wow they're really hooked.  We can make way more money off of them than we have been.  Somehow them taking a bigger cut is always seen as them trying to discourage us or them trying to help us.🤪

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Overwhelmed by the list of things that need to get done...

So much to do, I can't decide where to start. If there was a procrastination contest I should win, ive found excuses to avoid finishing so many tasks!

Maybe a nap will help me sort this out 😉

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Putting everything off is what causes my manic episodes.  I have been trying to tackle a little at a time lately like I think most people do but it's the hardest thing ever.  My mind either wants to do nothing but sit and stare or everything today and nothing in between.  I'd love to know what it's like to be normal for just one day.

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