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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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48 minutes ago, Shijima said:

I know the feeling of being really sad I feel it all the time plus my pain 24/7 Somehow I manage it by proving all who hurt me wrong and fighting and not letting them win. Its tough and I've been called strong a lot though still I can't see it fully if I am strong.

 

You are strong!

49 minutes ago, Shijima said:

Whatever your feeling will pass don't let the sadness win think about things or people who make you happy. Be glad your alive and not dreading it. We all go through hardships some more than others and severe. Just breath ok? Try and smile things will get better for you. If it takes time yes it sucks waiting but it WILL happen for you.

 

It's a good way of looking at things. I'm trying. Thank you!

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10 hours ago, sober4life said:

know I have to be addicted to something until I die so I'm not giving up the things at the time that make me feel good.  It doesn't end for me.  It just transfers to something else I run into the ground and end up hating.  Is everyone like me?  God I hope not!

Yes I just recently ended a really bad shopping addiction that was so stupid and ridiculous. Now I need to give away stuff because I will never use all the stuff I bought. 🙉 I'm wondering what my next habit will be. I don't know what it could be because everything is complete now. 🤔😆

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My family event the other day was another reminder of how much of an outsider I am and that no one (despite saying the opposite) respects point of view. That topic came up….the one that everyone but me agrees on.  They said the same things many others have said about those of us who don’t agree. Before I could say anything, the topic changed. I was going to say something because I am tired of being judged and looked down upon for having the opposing view. Wonder what they would have said…probably a lecture and tell me in so many words how awful I am due to my descision.

I need to seriously consider a total blackout of news and social media. My anxiety and depression is spiking of late and today, a news item made me break down. 

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1 hour ago, watalife said:

Yes I just recently ended a really bad shopping addiction that was so stupid and ridiculous. Now I need to give away stuff because I will never use all the stuff I bought. 🙉 I'm wondering what my next habit will be. I don't know what it could be because everything is complete now. 🤔😆

I have a shopping addiction too.  I don't know why but I started buying a lot of DVDs and video games since I've been on my own.  I wouldn't be able to tell you what I have unless I looked.  I always convinced myself I needed all of it to get through hard times but I would usually forget what I got before I made it back to the house.

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On 8/20/2021 at 10:18 PM, sober4life said:

know how cows are usually treated and I thought there was hope this time for a cow to have a happy life.

I know the treatment of cows is absolutely disgusting, I care a lot about it and stay away from meat and dairy because of it. Sometimes I feel like Im the only person that cares, sorry your cow died 💔

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I just found that in a post ( from a group on FB) ... I would like to share - Quote "  In case you need to hear this today, u aren't less of a person b/c u have panic attacks. u aren't less of a person b/c you have anxiety. u aren't less of a person b/c you have depression. u aren't less of a person b/c you have mental issues. u are are gift & you are worthy of love. Period - end quote

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8 hours ago, watalife said:

@sober4life that would be fun if I could get them $3 . did you buy used movies or both new/used. 

I got most of them at Dollar General and Walmart while doing my regular shopping.  I think a lot of it is me seeing shows from my childhood I haven't seen in a long time and that's why I get a lot of them.  Some were new.  Some were used.  I just want to relive the times of my childhood and the only good times was when I was sitting in front of a screen watching tv or playing some video games.  It's an escape from this hell of adulthood.

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3 hours ago, Runes_Rabbit said:

Fairly bad. Been waking up from disturbing nightmares the past few days. Like, dude - brain - could I please get some rest in my unconscious hours?

Yeah I had a nightmare last night that I got covid and decided not to tell anyone and I ended up being blamed for ******* off everyone in the whole world.

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12 hours ago, Ixeua said:

Working and studying for my difficult certification exams while going through both my 2nd bout of depression and long-haul COVID 19 is so exhausting... I feel so tired. 

 

 

 

I don't just feel tired and exhausted.  It feels like the brain fog mom used to talk about with the fibromyalgia.  Brain wise I feel like I have a hangover all day.

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Took narc mom in to hospital again today. I don't mind doing things like that at all.... So that was ok.. Miraculous that I managed the drive on next to no sleep again 😬 Had some panic this afternoon, worrying about sleeping and now I'm trying to unwind and stay positive. Fingers crossed for some sleep tonight 🤞🤞🤞 Hope everyone is doing ok 💜💙❤️

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14 hours ago, sober4life said:

Yeah I had a nightmare last night that I got covid and decided not to tell anyone and I ended up being blamed for ******* off everyone in the whole world.

Ive had this nightmare before too

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I actually have to get some work done today. Being stuck at home always triggers a depression, but despite having fragile mental health I have to remind myself how lucky I am and how much privilege I have. To be living in a free country where I have almost the same opportunities as a white male my age... Growing up and hearing of the hardships and horrors in the places like the  middle-east, Africa, South America. I've always known how incredibly lucky I was to have been born in New Zealand. I never even knew that women and men weren't "equal" until adult hood.

But in saying this, I have always felt devalued in my struggles because I took on the belief that "there's always someone who's got it worse" so I'm reminding myself of my privilege while also validating my own struggles. Feeling like you're not suffering enough to need help or are "to privileged" to suffer is a struggle in itself.

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On 8/24/2021 at 11:42 PM, Ixeua said:

Working and studying for my difficult certification exams while going through both my 2nd bout of depression and long-haul COVID 19 is so exhausting... I feel so tired. 

 

 

 

On the same road pal, sometimes we can't handle it all. Don't burn yourself, if possible.

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9 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Took narc mom in to hospital again today. I don't mind doing things like that at all.... So that was ok.. Miraculous that I managed the drive on next to no sleep again 😬 Had some panic this afternoon, worrying about sleeping and now I'm trying to unwind and stay positive. Fingers crossed for some sleep tonight 🤞🤞🤞 Hope everyone is doing ok 💜💙❤️

Hope you have a good rest jar.

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I ended up not grabbing any job and asking for help (economically), for a couple of months. Never did this before, it's time for me to learn to accept help from others, to learn that sometimes I can't by myself. I visualized wouldn't being able to deal with a job and with college, my depression and what's related to it doesn't allow me. I'm happy that I least I'm being able to deal with college, under circumstances, this is a lot. A bit nostalgic tonight. Cheers, love you.

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21 minutes ago, nothing_man said:

ended up not grabbing any job and asking for help (economically), for a couple of months

I'm the same, its so hard for me to accept that I need help and can't fix it all on my own, and that needing help doesn't make me weak or pathetic or whatever i've decided needing help dose... I'm still working through these stigmas i've created. It's really hard, but completing collage is an awesome accomplishment! esp when dealing with mental health issues. I got through uni and grad school while dealing with a lot too so congratulate yourself whenever you can. You got this 🙂

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