How do You Feel Right Now? #12

[Nightjar]

5 hours ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Am okay

Glad you are feeling better lovely

[Nightjar]

12 hours ago, Evergreenforst4 said:

I am sorry that happened. How do you know them? Did you hear or ask them what they talked about?

I wish you had someone to go to the park with. Maybe you would feel safer going with a friend.

You are one of the coolest people here, you have so many posts. I am sorry that happened to you. They were probably just jealous of you.

I just know them from seeing them a lot. Sometimes we have a chat and we've been quite friendly....Don't know what happened.. Yes, I could do with a friend to walk with. It's been a lonely road for a while.... 

Thanks for thinking I'm cool. Lol. You're cool with me  

[Nightjar]

Still feeling like s*it. Lol. I'm glad some of you are feeling better I'm gonna take it pretty easy today... Shower, bit of shopping maybe, couple of easy chores and chill. Maybe a little bit of yoga. Just easy eeeeeasy does it today

[sober4life]

Yeah I have to take it easy today.  I hurt everywhere and can barely walk.  I walked yesterday and helped with cleanup of trees and mowed the yard.  Today there's not much of anyone here.

[Bbqdad]

2 hours ago, sober4life said:

Yeah I have to take it easy today.  I hurt everywhere and can barely walk.  I walked yesterday and helped with cleanup of trees and mowed the yard.  Today there's not much of anyone here.

Storm walker. 

[DialAForAlan]

...so I guess this is my life now - trying my best to drown my pain in copious amounts of Melissa Etheridge while fighting back tears.

 

[anon22ae]

21 hours ago, sober4life said:

Everyone is ok.  Yeah my sky always looks like that too.  Basically the weather here is always something to complain about here in Ohio.  It used to be I can't wait for summer.  Now it's just like every day the earth is angry and showing it one way or another the whole year.

Good to hear that everyone made it, since I was imagining the land of Oz and all. I lived on the east coast long enough to "appreciate" the brutal summers, but now it's getting to be the same or worse more out west as well. Also heard about haze and smoke from wildfires in Siberia, which would seem a bit like tropical air in the Arctic.

[cherryapplez2020]

Tired depressed and dune

[Havdala]

everyone i hope you all feel better soon1 

[nothing_man]

1 hour ago, Havdala said:

everyone i hope you all feel better soon1 

Thank you. I hope you feel better or get better soon.

[nothing_man]

Hello there everyone. I'll use this space to write a bit. I'm embarked in a not-easy journey, this season I'm attending 3 subjects on my grade career, which is what I've been handling in the past, but now I've to add that I'll start working soon, probably in a week. So this is full-time work + attending/study of 3 subjects. This formula used to work pretty well for me in the past. I'm talking of keeping the mind busy. But I don't remember handling too many things at once. Still I believe I can do it.

The thing is, for some reason, people seems to get away from me, the few people that I hanged out with. Is pretty interesting actually, I look at this with scientist eyes. Why is it that people get away from you when you more need them to encourage you on a difficult task? I would really love a certain answer, to understand. Anyways, I'm accepting this fact, and I'm moving on. But this is not all that goes against "me and my pursuit". I've been becoming more and more sensible to sound and noise. I come irritated and stressed easily from this stimulus. I live in downtown, and here's really noisy. It stresses me a lot, and many times I feel that I'll go crazy or that I can't handle it anymore. I'm thiking about moving to somewhere else, but who knows if I'll be lucky enough to find that place to be at peace. I found myself in almost constant fear at any time of the day, fear of the noises, fear of failing, fear of falling down and not be able to work, fear of getting delayed on the career subjects, fear of everything basically.

I feel that, this could have meaning, something I have to learn, something I have to overcome, get stronger possibly. It's quite interesting how I keep going despite I'm alone in a place, 450 km away from my relatives, no contact whatsoever with locals, which happens because of lack of time, and lack of interest of people in general, don't misunderstood, I like people, I like you, but I don't like the society in which I'm submerged, this place isn't for me. I'll have to move on, but now I just can't. Maybe I will in 5 or 6 months, when the school semester ends, but still, uncertain of many things. I live in nightmare honestly, some days I just don't know how I manage to do some stuff. I'm overwhelmed, and will get worst, because I still didn't start to work.

Anyways, here I am, I don't know who I am, I don't know if I'll find future, I'm just rolling. I wish you the best, I love you all.

Edited August 16, 2021 by nothing_man

[Nightjar]

4 hours ago, nothing_man said:

Hello there everyone. I'll use this space to write a bit. I'm embarked in a not-easy journey, this season I'm attending 3 subjects on my grade career, which is what I've been handling in the past, but now I've to add that I'll start working soon, probably in a week. So this is full-time work + attending/study of 3 subjects. This formula used to work pretty well for me in the past. I'm talking of keeping the mind busy. But I don't remember handling too many things at once. Still I believe I can do it.

The thing is, for some reason, people seems to get away from me, the few people that I hanged out with. Is pretty interesting actually, I look at this with scientist eyes. Why is it that people get away from you when you more need them to encourage you on a difficult task? I would really love a certain answer, to understand. Anyways, I'm accepting this fact, and I'm moving on. But this is not all that goes against "me and my pursuit". I've been becoming more and more sensible to sound and noise. I come irritated and stressed easily from this stimulus. I live in downtown, and here's really noisy. It stresses me a lot, and many times I feel that I'll go crazy or that I can't handle it anymore. I'm thiking about moving to somewhere else, but who knows if I'll be lucky enough to find that place to be at peace. I found myself in almost constant fear at any time of the day, fear of the noises, fear of failing, fear of falling down and not be able to work, fear of getting delayed on the career subjects, fear of everything basically.

I feel that, this could have meaning, something I have to learn, something I have to overcome, get stronger possibly. It's quite interesting how I keep going despite I'm alone in a place, 450 km away from my relatives, no contact whatsoever with locals, which happens because of lack of time, and lack of interest of people in general, don't misunderstood, I like people, I like you, but I don't like the society in which I'm submerged, this place isn't for me. I'll have to move on, but now I just can't. Maybe I will in 5 or 6 months, when the school semester ends, but still, uncertain of many things. I live in nightmare honestly, some days I just don't know how I manage to do some stuff. I'm overwhelmed, and will get worst, because I still didn't start to work.

Anyways, here I am, I don't know who I am, I don't know if I'll find future, I'm just rolling. I wish you the best, I love you all.

nothing man. I hear you on all of that. The overwhelm. The fear or everything. Especially noise. I'm having similar issues because I live in a house with really thin walls and my sleep gets disturbed by my neighbours. I hate it. 

I experience isolation too and I think that this can be a great contributer to anxiety. 

I hope that the job helps you. Who knows, you may make friends there and being around people more in general may help your anxiety

[Nightjar]

Overwhelmed. I'm going to try meditation and see if it helps

[sober4life]

Ha people send in pictures to the news all the time and they put them up in the mornings during the news.  One of my neighbors sent in a picture of the mom and the baby deer.  You know the one that was injured in my back yard.  So she's famous now I guess.

How do I feel?  I feel like someone tried to break all of my bones with a hammer.  

Edited August 16, 2021 by sober4life

[JD4010]

On 8/12/2021 at 6:21 PM, anon22ae said:

For this, rich people invented glamping. Their SUVs are usually big enough to fit a special sleeping setup with a board and soft mat, quite comparable in comfort to a regular bed. The less well off among us have to make do with keeping the hatch open during sleep and dangling our legs outside.

A buddy of mine had an AMC Hornet hatchback with a tent attachment that hung from the opened hatch. It was a factory option! I thought it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen.

[JD4010]

On 8/13/2021 at 9:22 AM, Bbqdad said:

You sound like you better suited for Alaska 

Yeah. Or Svalbard. I'm in my element when the temps are "cold" for most people. On the other hand, the heat makes me absolutely miserable. It's "only" 80 here today and the humidity isn't that bad, but I'm sitting here sweating with nothing on except shorts.

[JD4010]

On 8/13/2021 at 9:33 PM, juno_writes said:

Why go back now? It's not hope, just documentation. In case things get to a point where I can't work. (I mean, they're basically there.)

I'm at that point. I was lucky to get the bum's rush out the back door of my former place of employment with a small severance. It has allowed me to live for a few weeks without having to worry about work. Except I worry about not working now. Just the thought of returning to work--anywhere--sends jolts of anxiety through my mind. Typing that made my stomach lurch.

[JD4010]

On 8/14/2021 at 8:48 PM, cherryapplez2020 said:

Am okay

Excellent news.

 

22 hours ago, anon22ae said:

Good to hear that everyone made it, since I was imagining the land of Oz and all. I lived on the east coast long enough to "appreciate" the brutal summers, but now it's getting to be the same or worse more out west as well. Also heard about haze and smoke from wildfires in Siberia, which would seem a bit like tropical air in the Arctic.

I've been watching time lapse films from weather satellites and the smoke is circulating all over the place. It started even earlier this year in the upper midwest. Maybe Mother Nature is sick of us humans defiling her place. I know I would be if I had made something so beautiful, only to watch the inhabitants wreck it.

[sober4life]

Yeah have a birthday party for you at your house and invite everyone you know.  That's how the people that say they care about you treat your place on your birthday.  There is no doubt in my mind people destroyed this planet.

[juno_writes]

13 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

I'm at that point. I was lucky to get the bum's rush out the back door of my former place of employment with a small severance. It has allowed me to live for a few weeks without having to worry about work. Except I worry about not working now. Just the thought of returning to work--anywhere--sends jolts of anxiety through my mind. Typing that made my stomach lurch.

When you're drowning, you've got to grab the raft first and then look around for the land. I'm glad that the severance has given you a little room to breathe. I hope you can focus on your own needs for a bit before or at least while having to figure out whatever comes next.

[juno_writes]

Since my SO had a stroke, I've been sitting in on some speech therapy sessions. It's fascinating to hear the therapist describe how the brain works. It's like there's been an accident, the bridge is out and the road between neurons is under repair. The brain has to figure out pathways around the usual route, and luckily it often can to some degree. I relate to that -- it's so much harder to do what I used to do mentally (concentration and memory), and the cause must be somewhere in my brain, but it's not visible on an MRI (I guess...never had one). It feels very similar to what I see him going through. Except that no-one sees it and there's no support.

Edited August 16, 2021 by juno_writes

[JD4010]

12 minutes ago, juno_writes said:

Since my SO had a stroke, I've been sitting in on some speech therapy sessions. It's fascinating to hear the therapist describe how the brain works. It's like there's been an accident, the bridge is out and the road between neurons is under repair. The brain has to figure out pathways around the usual route, and luckily it often can to some degree. I relate to that -- it's so much harder to do what I used to do mentally (concentration and memory), and the cause must be somewhere in my brain, but it's not visible on an MRI (I guess...never had one). It feels very similar to what I see him going through. Except that no-one sees it and there's no support.

Ah yes, the "hidden disability" situation. I have two that I know of...grinding depression and anxiety, and a genetic disorder that has some fun effects: ever decreasing lung capacity, kidney cancer, and bumps on the skin of my face and neck. I guess the bumps are visible but nobody I encounter knows they are a sign of something much deeper (it's how I got diagnosed in the first place). At first glance, I look like a reasonably healthy regular slob. Truthfully, I'm barely treading water. I fear a big wave is due to hit me and I'll go down for the last time.

[sober4life]

Yeah this is the first year that I've been on my own that I think I should make out a will.  Physically and mentally I feel like this story is nearing it's end.  I look healthy too but I'm not.  I'm not going to complain though.  With everything I've done to myself it's a miracle I've made it this far.

[Bbqdad]

4 hours ago, JD4010 said:

A buddy of mine had an AMC Hornet hatchback with a tent attachment that hung from the opened hatch. It was a factory option! I thought it was the coolest thing I'd ever seen.

That does sound cool. You have that KIA Soul that gonna be hard sleeping upright in the drivers seat.

[Ixeua]

I've been suffering from Long Haul COVID-19 from months. I am too tired. Sleep never makes me feel rested. I was asleep for 11 hours last night but my back is still in pain and I feel like I can barely sit up straight.