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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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I was searching for calming music on youtube and found some! Better yet, was a post by the creator/creators, that I needed to hear tonight: 

"STOP. Yeah, you. I know you're reading this comment. Don't you dare scroll away. I dont know who you are or where you are from, but know that whatever pain, sadness, anxiety, or battles you are going through, know that it will all get better sometime soon. You'll be looking back someday and realize how thankful you are that you never gave up. Life can be a bit unfair and scary sometimes. But please don't let that stir you away from the beauty of it. Life is also full of crazy and amazing experiences. You see, there has to be a balance in life. You can't have good without bad, and you can't have bad without good. All these things you have gone through or will go through are getting you ready for something so beautiful in your life. So please, for the sake of all of us who love you (and yes, if you are reading this, whether you feel alone or like the world would be better off without you, know that you are loved by me and all of these beautiful people in this comment section) don't give up. You have so much more story to tell. Now get some sleep, its good for your health. And don't forget, each day is an opportunity to start something new. Goodnight and sweet dreams, love💜"
 
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13 hours ago, duck said:

Sorry to hear!  Did you go to the hotel as yet? 

I did go but I didn't stay. Lol. It was cool in there with the aircon but I couldn't sleep and started panicking and feeling trapped because I thought we were locked in. I ended up leaving in the middle of the night in a panic so it didn't really go to plan 😬

Thankfully the heat wave has passed for now and I got a decent sleep last night at home 🛌

Are you enjoying the cooler weather? ☺️

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2 hours ago, womanofthelight said:

I was searching for calming music on youtube and found some! Better yet, was a post by the creator/creators, that I needed to hear tonight: 

"STOP. Yeah, you. I know you're reading this comment. Don't you dare scroll away. I dont know who you are or where you are from, but know that whatever pain, sadness, anxiety, or battles you are going through, know that it will all get better sometime soon. You'll be looking back someday and realize how thankful you are that you never gave up. Life can be a bit unfair and scary sometimes. But please don't let that stir you away from the beauty of it. Life is also full of crazy and amazing experiences. You see, there has to be a balance in life. You can't have good without bad, and you can't have bad without good. All these things you have gone through or will go through are getting you ready for something so beautiful in your life. So please, for the sake of all of us who love you (and yes, if you are reading this, whether you feel alone or like the world would be better off without you, know that you are loved by me and all of these beautiful people in this comment section) don't give up. You have so much more story to tell. Now get some sleep, its good for your health. And don't forget, each day is an opportunity to start something new. Goodnight and sweet dreams, love💜"
 

That's lovely. Thank you for sharing the positivity ❤️ It's needed here at the moment. 

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Another night of crying to sleep..if not for my daughter, I would be standing at the 30th storey and considering jumping down..I’m not strong. I’m weak. Pathetic. Worthless. The thoughts that run through my head knowing I can’t die. Life is not worth living. 

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i feel so alone, no one understands this illness unless they've gone through it..people are so judgemental and i want some relief, but there isn't any for me. i don't understand why life had to be so painful

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@Depressedgurl007 I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so badly.  Please try to hang in there!  I hope things get better for you.

@ladysmurf I can relate to being misunderstood.  I'm sorry there isn't any relief for you.  It stinks that life is painful, it has been for me at times too.  I love your username by the way!

I'm okay.  I ended up dissociating briefly this morning but I'm alright now.  

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I had a dream about mom.  I was on a long trip and I was trying to get home to her but I couldn't find her or reach her on the phone.  My mind is tired of fighting and suffering and being miserable.  It wants me to give up and go home to mom.

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Feeling a little worried that something bad will happen and I won't have enough money to fix it, if it can be fixed.  Medication and CBT helps me with my fears but one fear I have is ending up with Alzheimer's disease.  My grandmother got that and it was a real nightmare. 

Hugs here to anyone who needs one.

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3 hours ago, 88Butterfly88 said:

@Depressedgurl007 I'm sorry to hear you are feeling so badly.  Please try to hang in there!  I hope things get better for you.

@ladysmurf I can relate to being misunderstood.  I'm sorry there isn't any relief for you.  It stinks that life is painful, it has been for me at times too.  I love your username by the way!

I'm okay.  I ended up dissociating briefly this morning but I'm alright now.  

Thank u. I hang on so tightly to your words to hang in there. I don’t live among kind people like you, I don’t have anyone around me who tell me to hang in there. I only feel their hatred towards me and their wish for me to die. I don’t see things getting better at all. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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I thought a good night's sleep would take the edge off of finding out my ex (whom I'm still very much in love with [and quite possibly TOO much in love with]) is seeing someone else, but no, it just made things worse. I...I don't know how to handle this.

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8 hours ago, sober4life said:

I had a dream about mom.  I was on a long trip and I was trying to get home to her but I couldn't find her or reach her on the phone.  My mind is tired of fighting and suffering and being miserable.  It wants me to give up and go home to mom.

Maybe.  Then again, you were having a tough time finding her.  Maybe the deepest part of you, your unconscious mind, wants you to stay.  Either way, I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace, however long it lasts.

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20 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Are you enjoying the cooler weather? ☺️

Yes I am enjoying the cooler summer weather.  I painted the garage door and I am hoping to paint the front door exterior.  This is on my sister's house.  

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5 hours ago, womanofthelight said:

Maybe.  Then again, you were having a tough time finding her.  Maybe the deepest part of you, your unconscious mind, wants you to stay.  Either way, I'm thinking of you and wishing you peace, however long it lasts.

It's very hard.  My thoughts about my situation are the same as @Depressedgurl007I don't believe anyone wants me to be here.  If I had a near death experience and they asked me do you want to stay I would laugh at them.  

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

It's very hard.  My thoughts about my situation are the same as @Depressedgurl007I don't believe anyone wants me to be here.  If I had a near death experience and they asked me do you want to stay I would laugh at them.  

It’s tough it’s very very hard. People online may want us to stay, but physically we are all still so very alone at our own houses. It hurts. But still I do appreciate all the help people online give me. That’s all I have really 😞 

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6 hours ago, duck said:

Yes I am enjoying the cooler summer weather.  I painted the garage door and I am hoping to paint the front door exterior.  This is on my sister's house.  

Cool! 😎 Do you live at your sister's house duck? I know you do a lot for them. They're lucky to have you 🤔

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1 hour ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

It’s tough it’s very very hard. People online may want us to stay, but physically we are all still so very alone at our own houses. It hurts. But still I do appreciate all the help people online give me. That’s all I have really 😞 

Yes, I don't have support anywhere else either. It is tough and I sympathise with you and sober. You guys keep me going ❤️ Did I read right that you will be out of this situation in 2025?... 

4 years is tough but it's not a life sentence. You can make it through 💪

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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

It's very hard.  My thoughts about my situation are the same as @Depressedgurl007I don't believe anyone wants me to be here.  If I had a near death experience and they asked me do you want to stay I would laugh at them.  

I don't think I would come back either lol. But I'm still in earth school for now and it's not over till it's over I guess 😬🚸🌎

I care about you and I would miss you very much if you were gone ❤️ You are always there for me and others. You make a difference to our worlds and do a great job!! 

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Don't freaking ask. Lol 😐 Another really awful night's sleep and waves of panic this morning. Sheesh. Narc mom was stalking me yesterday.. 

am chuffed that I hoovered today though 🙂small victories. 

Edited by Nightjar
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48 minutes ago, EmpowerYourLife said:

Weird.

... is a word that starts with 'W'. Other words that start with 'W' include 'water', 'whiskers', and our very own 'watalife'. 'W' is the 23rd letter of the alphabet.

IMO, 'W' should have been named Double-Vee, but I don't have that kind of power.

P.S. Welcome to DF, EmpowerYourLife!

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I worked all day today after who knows I might have slept last night.  I'm honestly not even sure if I got any sleep.

It's like you're typing my thoughts.

I could be sleeping, but I'm too medicated to know for sure.

#ambienFTW!

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8 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Yes, I don't have support anywhere else either. It is tough and I sympathise with you and sober. You guys keep me going ❤️ Did I read right that you will be out of this situation in 2025?... 

4 years is tough but it's not a life sentence. You can make it through 💪

Thanks. I hope it’s true I get to get out at 2025. Anything can happen between now and then. 

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