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Lindsay

How do You Feel Right Now? #12

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18 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

Well, that's not what I wanted to see...What's happening?

Just dune with life overwhelmed with things that feel like there not going to get better so what’s the point really thinking about saying **** it

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Posted (edited)

Feeling doomed today, somehow I turned my depression into hate to myself, I'm hating myself very badly. Just can't believe how things gets so hard, I feel I'm done with everything. I also hate that this will pass, I'm ****ing tired of holding on to a "better day", just ****ing tired, it feels like I'm doomed, most of my life been surrounded by shit as if I'm a shitty person. I just want to say **** all.

All my idols are people who commited suicide, Cornell, Staley, Bennington, Cobain. I think they were very brave to leave this ****ed up world, with a sick society, a cold society. Maybe they are the way to follow.

Edited by nothing_man

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Less tired today thank god. Managed to get a bit more sleep. I'm worried about isolated family members. They are all in isolation now and they all live alone. I'm not too worried about me, I'm used to it! 

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9 hours ago, nothing_man said:


All my idols are people who commited suicide, Cornell, Staley, Bennington, Cobain. I think they were very brave to leave this ****ed up world, with a sick society, a cold society. Maybe they are the way to follow.

It's a constant struggle for me to stay engaged with this sick and cold "society." I have to force myself to do anything said society sees as "productive". The government calls us "consumers", which is just about the last thing I'd want to be identified as.

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6 hours ago, SoppyCow said:

Feeling blessed with all that I have 🙂 

That's great! It's often difficult for us to achieve that perspective.

I am blessed as well, but I've got to run faster and faster in the hamster wheel just to keep my meager life going as it is.

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57 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

The government calls us "consumers", which is just about the last thing I'd want to be identified as.

I agree.  That makes it sound like the only value we have is as black holes which 'consume' anything presented to us.  It totally ignores even the possibility that we may create something, have feelings, have dreams, have wants or needs, etc.  No wonder so many people distrust the government.  People like us who make connections and show caring on the internet or over the back fence are trying to be 'human' in spite of society.

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10 hours ago, nothing_man said:

All my idols are people who commited suicide, Cornell, Staley, Bennington, Cobain. I think they were very brave to leave this ****ed up world, with a sick society, a cold society. Maybe they are the way to follow.

I will be just like them.  I will choose my last day but it won't be today and it won't be because of this.  I refuse to give up!

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A bit overwhelmed by the latest numbers. and kind of missing my pre-pandemic life. And, frankly, contemplating death and the discomfort that usually leads to it.

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I feel that if anyone needs to be put out of there misery, it's me. You wouldnt believe how I drive myself mad over nothing and complete stupidity, nonsense. Who's idea was this? They should of thought about this a little more than just doing whatever. 

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I'm still oddly calm. In spite of the media continuously hammering us with COVID-19 stuff, the bug doesn't scare me. People's and government's reaction to it scare the whee out of me however.

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Still love my job and hate management. Wish any of their notes on my work made sense. Every time I ask questions I'm treated like shit. Desperately want to leave the job but in the process of buying a house and all that goes away if you're unemployed for even a day. Of course if I die all the problems vanish.

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52 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

I'm still oddly calm. In spite of the media continuously hammering us with COVID-19 stuff, the bug doesn't scare me. People's and government's reaction to it scare the whee out of me however.

Yeah people say stop watching the news and you will feel better.  How could I stop.  Every morning when I wake up absolutely anything could be on there.  You have to watch because you have to know what's going on in a situation where nobody could predict what's coming next.  There's no getting back to normal from here.  Things are too far gone to ever get back to the way things were.

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18 minutes ago, sober4life said:

Yeah people say stop watching the news and you will feel better.  How could I stop.  Every morning when I wake up absolutely anything could be on there.  You have to watch because you have to know what's going on in a situation where nobody could predict what's coming next.  There's no getting back to normal from here.  Things are too far gone to ever get back to the way things were.

i just watch for a little bit to see whats happening and then turn the news off,...they are making people more anxious by talking about this non-stop.

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7 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

i just watch for a little bit to see whats happening and then turn the news off,...they are making people more anxious by talking about this non-stop.

I record the entire day and watch every part that I think is important.  It's not always on but I'm not missing anything.

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46 minutes ago, ladysmurf said:

i just watch for a little bit to see whats happening and then turn the news off,...they are making people more anxious by talking about this non-stop.

Just as planned.

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2 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Just as planned.

I'm watching them trying to explain their overblown numbers and failing.  What it is they are putting the numbers of deaths way above where they think they will be and then that makes everyone feel like they are heroes and feel good about themselves when the numbers end up being much lower.

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3 hours ago, sober4life said:

There's no getting back to normal from here.  Things are too far gone to ever get back to the way things were.

Seriously ... that may not be all bad.  Maybe some people will get a healthier perspective and start treating their fellow human beings a little more humanely.  I am not naive enough to think it will happen to everyone, but even a few would help.

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18 minutes ago, jkd_sd said:

Seriously ... that may not be all bad.  Maybe some people will get a healthier perspective and start treating their fellow human beings a little more humanely.  I am not naive enough to think it will happen to everyone, but even a few would help.

People have never treated me like a human.  Since mom passed away people stuck around for a while hoping I would off myself and leave them something.  Now that I'm doing ok I'm on my own.  

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