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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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On 6/20/2021 at 7:08 PM, Extremebeginner said:

Unless you live in Canada where our government is so backwards that despite vaccinations and quarantine and two negative covid test you cant get into Canada unless you are a politician, rock star or some other way super .....g important. As soon as this pandemic is over Im moving out of this country, governed by hypocritical liers and bureaucratic rules that make living in the USA seem simple. Which country are you in, as I will not be coming back here I’ll come and buy you a java

I had thought for years that I wanted to move to Canada, especially far north Yukon or NWT. But from what I've been hearing from people who live there, I'm definitely reconsidering...

 

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11 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Let me try and help you rationalise the procedure. Justice goes to those with the biggest and most aggressive lawyers. If you are a man you lose, especially if you show any signs of empathy. If you are defending yourself based on your believe that justice will prevail, reconsider. Get a lawyer, the extra costs will come out of her money too. Spend it or live with regret as to how the justice system sucks. 
its not about fair, at all. There is no justice. Let me say it again, get a lawyer if you see it going bad after the first hearing. 
sorry you are going through this, I have been cleaned out twice by trying to be fair.

I got taken to the cleaners as well. Represented myself. Which meant essentially answering yes or no when the judge asked me stuff. I'm definitely regretting it now, but at the time, I just wanted out.

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I'm getting my haircut tomorrow for my trip.  I'm going to a new place because the old place is going out of business.  I had to drive up there tonight and make sure I could find the place before going tomorrow.  This is a person that's going to drive across the country.:unsure:

You are driving across the country? Wow! I'm envious. I love road trips but it has been many years since I last took one.

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23 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

You are driving across the country? Wow! I'm envious. I love road trips but it has been many years since I last took one.

Yeah not the long trip to California.  I'm going to Texas.  I'll be honest it terrifies me but I can't let on that it bothers me.  When you pretend to be ok all the time people start expecting you to prove it.  Well we'll see.:unsure:

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I’m really unhappy with my job right now and I really need to seriously think about finding a new one. Problem is that I lack motivation and I am a mess right now…inside and out. Guess the fact that we are not going back to the office anytime soon is bothering me more than I thought it would. 

It also seems less and less likely I will be going on a road trip to one of my favorite places. I really didn’t get my hopes up or think about it because it was definite and it still may happen but I am doubtful.

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Being with some good friends tonight,all LGBT veterans.I did my time in the military,8 years in the Marines.Met them 3 years ago 2 weeks before I started my transition and completely supported me through my transition.I learned a lot from them with them telling me their story and helped me through everything

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I had a very spooky experience last night. I strongly believe that the spirits of our pets stay around us for a while but I was hoping there wouldn't be too much evidence of that because it freaks me out a bit. Anyway, last night I was woken up by her call. It was a bit freaky and very sad that she wants me but can't reach me. And of course, vice versa.

The first days afterwards are always the worst, the shock, the pain, the loss and the sadness and then of course, the spookiness 😳 

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9 hours ago, sober4life said:

Yeah not the long trip to California.  I'm going to Texas.  I'll be honest it terrifies me but I can't let on that it bothers me.  When you pretend to be ok all the time people start expecting you to prove it.  Well we'll see.:unsure:

When will you be going sober? I wish you luck with it 🍀

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some days i thought i got a hold of those voices in my head, i thought i know what to do to make them quiet down awhile, and some days it works, but right now its not working again. i think i spend too much time holing up in my room, the voices get stronger n stronger. but i still cant go out i can't talk to people either. even working i'm working alone. im so tired of myself..

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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I wish I could be normal.  It's taking everything in me to fight back a panic attack because of a hair appointment.  What has happened to me.  I can't do anything easy anymore.  Everything is like climbing a mountain when I'm alone in the world.  I go through every moment of life with the thought that everything has to go perfectly or this will all be over.  It's too much pressure for someone that some days thinks they can't even make it down to the mailbox.  When mom was here I still tried to do everything for us but I had someone there if I wasn't able to do it.  Now nobody is going to care what happens to me and that's a very scary feeling.

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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

I wish I could be normal.  It's taking everything in me to fight back a panic attack because of a hair appointment.  What has happened to me.  I can't do anything easy anymore.  Everything is like climbing a mountain when I'm alone in the world.  I go through every moment of life with the thought that everything has to go perfectly or this will all be over.  It's too much pressure for someone that some days thinks they can't even make it down to the mailbox.  When mom was here I still tried to do everything for us but I had someone there if I wasn't able to do it.  Now nobody is going to care what happens to me and that's a very scary feeling.

I get that sober. I experience panic attacks over 'normal' things too. I agree that being alone doesn't help anyone feel better. I'm gonna try to get to this group I mentioned here. Yes, I'll be vulnerable, but it will be worth it. I know i can make friends. I'm not an asshole. Neither are you. 

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Well I apologise if I'm hogging airspace but I'm very struggly right now. I don't even want to drink coke anymore 😬 and you know how I feel about coke.. I had to force myself to drink one today because I didn't wanna face withdrawal symptoms on top of everything else. Happy I managed to shower today I guess and I left the house. I'm at the lake, gonna see if a little walk can help today. 

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10 hours ago, Nightjar said:

I had a very spooky experience last night. I strongly believe that the spirits of our pets stay around us for a while but I was hoping there wouldn't be too much evidence of that because it freaks me out a bit. Anyway, last night I was woken up by her call. It was a bit freaky and very sad that she wants me but can't reach me. And of course, vice versa.

The first days afterwards are always the worst, the shock, the pain, the loss and the sadness and then of course, the spookiness 😳 

I've had similar experiences with the "ghosts" of cats, as has my daughter. Anytime I lose a furry family member, I'm a wreck for several days afterwards.

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On 6/22/2021 at 5:37 AM, Nightjar said:

Mini has crossed over the rainbow bridge. 

I feel so sorry for you . I know that cat meant a lot to you and hope she is " better" now and you will get better .

Take care of yourself and grieve as you go. The loss of a loved one always hurts - even if it is " just" a pet to someone. 🌻

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I try to have hope but the only thing I got in the mail today on mom's birthday was a handwritten letter from a cult that wanted me to join at one point saying how she lost her mom too 15 years ago.  The scary thing is I never told them about mom being sick or about her passing away but apparently they must have investigated things enough to even find out when her birthday was to make sure they got the letter in my box on the right day.  What a world.  

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7 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Well I apologise if I'm hogging airspace but I'm very struggly right now. I don't even want to drink coke anymore 😬 and you know how I feel about coke.. I had to force myself to drink one today because I didn't wanna face withdrawal symptoms on top of everything else. Happy I managed to shower today I guess and I left the house. I'm at the lake, gonna see if a little walk can help today. 

Take whatever time you need. I was enough of a mess after losing a foster cat I'd known for a few weeks, just missing her presence and second guessing decisions. You lost a good friend, and the fact that other people don't share the loss doesn't make it any less real. 

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On 6/24/2021 at 7:34 AM, monicott17 said:

I’m really unhappy with my job right now and I really need to seriously think about finding a new one. Problem is that I lack motivation and I am a mess right now…inside and out. Guess the fact that we are not going back to the office anytime soon is bothering me more than I thought it would. 

This goes to @Depressedgurl007 too.

Jobs/employment are for people with zero mental health issues whatsoever. If you have been diagnosed with depression, apply for disability! Unless disability does not exist in your country for mental health reasons, only for physical disabilities?

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3 hours ago, iWantRope said:

This goes to @Depressedgurl007 too.

Jobs/employment are for people with zero mental health issues whatsoever. If you have been diagnosed with depression, apply for disability! Unless disability does not exist in your country for mental health reasons, only for physical disabilities?

There is no disability for mental health over here 😞. They provide lotsa support for people with mental illness in terms of finding a job, free therapy and other social services only in name, but if we actually go to get help, the way they treat us is not very nice, i don't even want to talk about my experience with these places, it makes me feel like having mental illness is a crime. Maybe its just me but this is how i been feeling for very long with our system. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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