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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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1 hour ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Hey @sober4life

i feel really good but I didn’t sleep much and am bipolar to so there’s that

how are you

Things are ok.  I'm out of control but my mind wants to do the right things right now so things seem good.

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2 minutes ago, sober4life said:

Things are ok.  I'm out of control but my mind wants to do the right things right now so things seem good.

Am losing my mind sober

more med changes hope it didn’t make me go manic oh well if it did I feel GREAT

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1 hour ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Am losing my mind sober

more med changes hope it didn’t make me go manic oh well if it did I feel GREAT

Sadly they have convinced us the times we feel really good are bad too.  Well they haven't convinced me.  I'm glad you feel great.

Edited by sober4life
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I wish I could actually lose my mind, maybe nothing would be better than the one I am attached too. Here is the picture, my task today was to reorganise the mooring of a couple of boats, on a dock. It was a really beautiful and peaceful day, on a lake up here in Canada, yes lakes are not always frozen. My mind would not set me free for the day, had to ingest a benzodiazepine just to stay in one piece. I don’t Know how much better a day could have been in nature yet there I am, wanting to go home to bed. Depression I almost cope with, but I cannot get this anxiety handled. Alternative thoughts as to how I handle myself welcomed. Im on meds and see a therapist every week. Hugs to all

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7 minutes ago, Extremebeginner said:

I wish I could actually lose my mind, maybe nothing would be better than the one I am attached too. Here is the picture, my task today was to reorganise the mooring of a couple of boats, on a dock. It was a really beautiful and peaceful day, on a lake up here in Canada, yes lakes are not always frozen. My mind would not set me free for the day, had to ingest a benzodiazepine just to stay in one piece. I don’t Know how much better a day could have been in nature yet there I am, wanting to go home to bed. Depression I almost cope with, but I cannot get this anxiety handled. Alternative thoughts as to how I handle myself welcomed. Im on meds and see a therapist every week. Hugs to all

Sorry 😔hope you feel better 

i was on those to trying to get off of it and it’s not easy

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It rained most of the day here today too.  I did see a turtle today.  They're pretty rare around here.  I try to figure out where I can find animals around here but turtles I would have no idea where to find one.

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9 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Depression I almost cope with, but I cannot get this anxiety handled. Alternative thoughts as to how I handle myself welcomed

I feel the same way. Depression doesn't worry me. I accept it completely and it passes soon enough. Anxiety is rough. I find it much harder to deal with. Maybe there's a clue in managing anxiety in how we manage our depression? We accept it totally and then it doesn't bother us so much? 

Also, I'm finding the continuous anxiety worse than the panic at the moment because the panic passes fairly quickly 🤷‍♀️

I used to suffer more with depression when I was younger but now I've graduated to anxiety 😬

Edited by Nightjar
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It's been rough at home with my cat. Her issues with sickness, diaorrhea and anxiety have been keeping me constantly busy cleaning and reassuring. There was one day where the diaorrhea was constant and I didn't know how I could cope. But I did I guess. 

I usually spend an awful lot of time looking after her but lately it's been even more. Of course, I love her and I will care for her but I need to have energy to care for myself too. This isn't so easy 😬

 

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Liked I would pay anything for the cat I really want than to be going through this hell. I've invested so much into this boy and he is absolutely freaking miserable. He hates it here he hates the new cat and nothing I do can keep him happy. Is this gods way of saying get rid of these cats and what? Do what? Lol I should have never got a boy. They are just not to cuddly. It's fight fight punch punch hit the wall.

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2 minutes ago, watalife said:

Liked I would pay anything for the cat I really want than to be going through this hell. I've invested so much into this boy and he is absolutely freaking miserable. He hates it here he hates the new cat and nothing I do can keep him happy. Is this gods way of saying get rid of these cats and what? Do what? Lol I should have never got a boy. They are just not to cuddly. It's fight fight punch punch hit the wall.

I've lost count of the times it's felt too much for me to cope with my cat's issues but I love her so the deal is done. 🤷‍♀️

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45 minutes ago, watalife said:

@Nightjar even if the cat was making you feel bad and interrupting your other life duties ?  

Yeah, I think the deal was done as soon as I put her in my carrier. She became family and that was that. I do feel very restricted by her neediness sometimes and there are many times I've questioned if it was good for me to have her. Wondered if I should rehome her even. But there's just no way. She's my baby! 😂

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I'm &$%# losing it altogether.

THREE times this week I pushed to stay up past 2am (once til 5), because I can no longer get my day done during the day. Can't focus on work during the day because I had to file neglect complaints with the facility where my parents live and give them rides to doctors. Can't sleep at night because my bedroom is 90 degrees. Can't work because of bailing out the flooded basement (depression -> poverty -> depression). Pushing, pushing, pushing, just to *barely* pull it off, day after day.

Then today was a relative's wedding. A long-awaited happy event, chance to feel human and see people again, in a beautiful place. And I missed it. There were several reasons, some my fault. Bottom line, this time I pushpushpushed and *didn't* pull it off, and feel like the world's biggest horse's @$$. 

So I came home and [self harm, you can use your imagination]. Now I'll have to answer questions about why my hair is 12 inches shorter and why I have a black eye. Well done. 👍

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Doing this life on your own is like endlessly pulling the rope hooked to the semi or airplane like on those tough man contests.  You can appear to have a pretty good life to the people around you if you use every waking second working on keeping up appearances.  You don't have time to enjoy it though.

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I had three rough days.  Today I am doing chores.  I am sick of life.  Nothing good about life. Too much physical abuse since childhood.

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Its another nice day here, no humidity to speak of and a pleasant 26 deg, and my anxiety will just not abate so that I can sit on a chair and drink some water, and just chill. My mind scurries of and reminds me of everything I need to get done, chores! A vacation is not an option so I guess I will just have to really force myself to sit still, with nothing except my water.

any tips on acceptance? If I could just accept that stuff doesn’t get done, or it doesnt need to be perfect, then I maybe could chill?

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11 minutes ago, Extremebeginner said:

any tips on acceptance? If I could just accept that stuff doesn’t get done, or it doesnt need to be perfect, then I maybe could chill?

I think sometimes we need to accept that we can't accept that stuff isn't done 😂🤔🙄

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It started out as a good day.  The sun is shining which is wonderful after 2 weeks of cloudy, overcast or rainy days either in the morning or in the afternoon. My mood was good for a change.  So instead of trying to bag wet leaves, I wrote checks for  some bills, went to post office & then to store. Thai (the cat who always me to live with her!) needed food and litter & I needed milk & cigs.

And that was when everything went south.  

Long story short - my mood dropped dramatically, got what I needed & left to cry on the way home.  

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39 minutes ago, nojoy said:

Long story short - my mood dropped dramatically, got what I needed & left to cry on the way home.  

I know what you mean. My mood can change in a split second too sometimes with an obvious trigger but other times not and I’m feeling horrible and I don’t even know why. Hope you’re ok 

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