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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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Still got high anxiety but I think I'm starting to calm down a bit after the trauma of the move. Mini lion is keeping me awake at night because she's been ill and back and fore to her litter tray over and over. 

I'm taking her into the vets tomorrow for a scan so we can find out what's going on.... Hoping we can get things sorted and that my anxiety stays manageable enough to take care of things. I'm almost unpacked and looking forward to completing that so that I don't have to keep people away from the house any more! 

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Continue to be anxious and quite on edge. At least today I got a bit more work done and had to reach out to and help one of my co-workers which I really don’t mind doing. Even if it is only via email or text, still nice to sort of communicate with the world outside my bedroom.

Nasty migraine today...have been feeling like it was coming on the last few and the humidity is sky high today so not surprised. 

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10 hours ago, Another Statistic said:

I can so relate. FJ has pancreatitis, so he spends a lot of time uncomfortable. We found meds that keep the vomiting under control but he keeps looking for his old normal, and for some reason he's convinced it's under the blankets. He takes 2 or 3 minutes to determine that the door to normal is not under the blankets, and then he pops back out onto the floor. He keeps repeating this ALL NIGHT LONG.

I need zeeeez.

This. Yes, Ditto that. The scratching under the blankets, the jumping on and off the bed, the all night long litter box visits.

Did the vet give her steroids? I'm imagining this is what mini will have and have you wondered whether this level of discomfort is too much for all concerned? 

I've just left mini lion at the vets. She is having a scan today. She's gonna hate it. I feel like the worst mom in the world for leaving her there and also a little relieved that someone else is taking care of her for a bit. 

Edited by Nightjar
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Well I don't know what it's like in America but here when a cat has to visit the vets for a procedure, they keep them in for the entire day. I don't even know in what conditions exactly... How big the cage is.. If they are separated from other animals... Did she have water etc... I have no idea. 

I just hand my furbaby over 🙄 Her pupils were huge when I collected her and she will probably be traumatised by her visit for the rest if her life. Vet says 'She was fine' when I ask how she's been. Gigantic pupils and peeing herself does not signal 'fine' to me. 

I hate it. So tired now. I'm off for an early night. I've been worrying about her all day long. 

Edited by Nightjar
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3 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Well I don't know what it's like in America

It is the same here Nightjar , any major thing and they keep the cat overnight. They are well taken care off and they recover quickly afterwards. My two only went once to get shots an "checked" .... I hope the best for yours. Extra loving should do it 🙂

 

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Mini's peeing is probably stress peeing.  I've noticed that a lot in animals.  When they're stressed out they have accidents.  The situation was stressful plus she probably sees herself in a child role and sees mom going through a hard time and thinks oh no what am I going to do?

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I signed up to Tinder last night and have mashed with a couple of people. I wanna go out on dates, get all dressed up, meet people. I cant go out in my current state but its a goal of mine to work myself up to just feeling well enough to leave the damn house. In my whole adult life ive never "dated", just had two long-term relationships that didnt turn out well and my life would be a whole lot different if they hadn't of happened. Im wasting my life, robbing myself of my "youth". Before I know it ill be middle aged and still moping around in my depressed anxious haze. 

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8 hours ago, Another Statistic said:

I've found over the years that all of our cats are incredibly empathetic. So much so that they pick up on our mood and mirror it back to us.

This is so true, when im really anxious and depressed my cat will either mimic the anxiety or be extra cuddly and appear concerned about me (whether she is or not, maybe she's just a fantastic actor 🤔)

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7 hours ago, sober4life said:

Mini's peeing is probably stress peeing.  I've noticed that a lot in animals.  When they're stressed out they have accidents.  The situation was stressful plus she probably sees herself in a child role and sees mom going through a hard time and thinks oh no what am I going to do?

She must have felt the high anxiety from me these past few weeks. I'm wondering if it triggered a flare up of whatever illness she has. Most likely in my opinion. 

People may laugh at this but I believe she has PTSD. She had nightmares for years after I rescued her and she has always had high anxiety. She does best in a highly regulated environment with a good routine and where she knows I'm never far away. With all this in place she is relatively happy.

Without that she quickly descends into panic which is what happened yesterday at the vet. This extreme form of stress is poorly understood in humans and animals alike. Most people are all like 'She'll be fine' etc. But, she's not. She's not fine..Her pupils are still huge from yesterday and last night she didn't sleep on the bed she's slept on every night for five years.

Having panic disorder myself I know how this feels. Being locked in a cage in room full of strangers is terrifying for a person or animal with panic disorder. I wanted to get her out of there ASAP but they wouldn't let me. 

I don't know if I should ever do that to her again. It's so detrimental to her health and wellbeing. 

I get the results on Friday so I hope they are conclusive. She is currently back in continuous litter box mode 🙄

 

 

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

She must have felt the high anxiety from me these past few weeks. I'm wondering if it triggered a flare up of whatever illness she has. Most likely in my opinion. 

People may laugh at this but I believe she has PTSD. She had nightmares for years after I rescued her and she has always had high anxiety. She does best in a highly regulated environment with a good routine and where she knows I'm never far away. With all this in place she is relatively happy.

Without that she quickly descends into panic which is what happened yesterday at the vet. This extreme form of stress is poorly understood in humans and animals alike. Most people are all like 'She'll be fine' etc. But, she's not. She's not fine..Her pupils are still huge from yesterday and last night she didn't sleep on the bed she's slept on every night for five years.

Having panic disorder myself I know how this feels. Being locked in a cage in room full of strangers is terrifying for a person or animal with panic disorder. I wanted to get her out of there ASAP but they wouldn't let me. 

I don't know if I should ever do that to her again. It's so detrimental to her health and wellbeing. 

I get the results on Friday so I hope they are conclusive. She is currently back in continuous litter box mode 🙄

 

 

your poor cat 😞 hope she settles soon 🤞🤞

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Life has been very frustrating lately.  Life is trying to tell me something for sure.  Yesterday I cut my finger on a can in the trash and thought I wasn't going to get the bleeding stopped and in the evening a black widow spider almost got me.  Today there was a brown spider in the car that almost got me.  No matter what you do in life this seems to be life.  It seems like something out there always knows a move to make against you that you won't expect and that's exactly what happens all the time.

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I can't believe how people stay happy and hopeful day to day. Everyday is the same. People give their whole lives to a job or you have the people who can barely stand working or people that don't work at all. Out of all those I would rather not exist at all. Oh but what about that fairy tale life. Probably wouldn't last since men are xXxX. 😴

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1 hour ago, Another Statistic said:

Spiders are nature's way of testing if our adrenal system is online.  

That's the magic of age - fewer and fewer things surprise me as I approach 60.

What makes things really bad is poisonous spiders run after you usually so you might not even see them.  You might put on a shoe and they're in the shoe and before you know what's going on they're running up your leg.

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Seeing something attacking one of my trees makes me realize I need to stop winging it and become an expert at this.  Why?  I planted these trees when I was still sick from the virus.  The survival of these trees means everything to me.  I absolutely tie the two things together.  No I'm not mad at the ants and bugs whatsoever.  Life is what it is but I will not give up on these trees.

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