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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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On 6/3/2021 at 4:12 PM, sober4life said:

Well I'll be driving 1300 miles in 4 weeks.  What's the farthest you ever drove before?  I don't know 250 miles.:unsure:

On our honeymoon, my husband and I drove 2200 in 12 days.

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I have to submit paperwork for the divorce hearing....i've avoided it for weeks now, but tomorrow is the deadline.

I can't face it.

Every trick my brain has for avoidance is active -

Trying really hard to shift into 'git'er done' mode

 

 

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44 minutes ago, Smcine said:

On our honeymoon, my husband and I drove 2200 in 12 days.

My preference would be me waking up one day and saying yeah this is the day and I would just drive the entire distance that day but it's a scheduled trip so I'll be staying at a motel half way through.

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10 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Ditto. I know exactly how you feel. I tend to go to places in nature where other people aren't and that's helpful to me. 

Y'know if u lived nearby I would welcome you along but I realise you are likely not even in the same country as me. 

I would also welcome along others here too. We would have quite the barbecue! 

But, here we are alone. I'm thinking a support group would be a good place to make friends. The folks there would have a good idea how to understand our issues and most likely be in need of a friend too. 

IDK if there any available near you or near me come to that. I don't know if I even have the guts to go.... But maybe..... 

Thanks. 😊 

I’ve vaguely looked into support groups ( this was pre-Covid though) and there wasn’t much of anything in my area. Guessing even less now. My therapist is belongs to a large mental health practice that has a number of different services so I will check with him if they have any available.

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6 hours ago, Svenetc said:

I can so relate to that.We have a nice area to spend time walking or fishing or whatever. But I walked all alone a few times last year and it made my feeling no better - in matter fact it made it worse simply because now I really realized that I am alone. All the people I am surrounded by are my co-workers and they have families or if not then just run to the bars. And that is not my thing. So I just go home and play Yahtzee online or chat with people who are in the "same" boat as I am. All I can say hang in there ! You are not alone 🙂  

Thanks!  😊  Today was a particularly crummy day.  I’ve got the screen time setting turned on...and currently I am over the 10 hour mark for online time today. Sad, pathetic and pretty embarassing on several levels..it was an 86 degree sunny day, none of the time was on productive things (mostly online shopping and googling/reading stuff that either makes me mad (news/political stuff) or makes me jealous (celebrity gossip/social media). I desperately need a hobby and someone other than my therapist who I can have a deep discussion with. This board and others I post on are my lifelines at the moment.

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Taking care of plants is a good hobby.  When I started with the flowers and the trees I never thought I could keep them alive even this long.  That's why it's fun for me because it's a challenge.  I have no idea what I'm doing really.  All the other plants I've had didn't survive.

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Today was terrible and it was all because of people, poor management and laziness. If everyday was like today I would hope for death often like I used to. Nothing I do there matters and no one cares. You can do everything and no one says anything and you can do nothing and no one even has a clue of what you did or didn't do because they don't care either way. Strange world this is. Everyone is just keeping up appearances I guess.

 

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16 hours ago, Nightjar said:

I don't know if I even have the guts to go.... But maybe.....

ive considered support groups as well, but im always way to scared to show up. TV shows make group meetings like AA/NA really supportive and good. It'd be nice to have support with depression and anxiety too. and DF is great, I just wish it was IRL sometimes 

Edited by Charlee
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I actually feel ok today, and yesterday as well (first "lighter" days since February!). I got another decent sleep last night, but I was exhausted from a sleepless night and a 10 hour drive, and today ive been at home and in bed mostly so im probably going to have a sleepless night tonight.

Ive made an appt with my doc tomorrow and im contemplating whether I should go or not, I know that sertraline isn't the drug for me and I should talk to my doc about it, but I also have a lot of Effexor left over from when I was on it and I kind of just wanna switch and see how that goes without the docs appt. And if that doesn't work then id go..... I should go to the docs. I should just do it. Anxiety and Depression aside. I should go, tell me to go. 

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Someone I met online decided to do a 21-day challenge to quit coffee, and asked me if I want to join in and I said ok. Today is day 4, and I’m already thinking of quitting this challenge. Just don’t wanna look like a loser to this friend I never met. So gotto keep going. The usual depressed, lethargic, anxious, fuzzy-headed feelings come every time I try this challenge alone, with no mood to do any work at all. I dunno why I put myself in this mess.

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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8 hours ago, monicott17 said:

Sad, pathetic and pretty embarassing on several levels..

I could not more than agree.... I do the exact same in my pathetic life. Between this forum and a chat site there is nothing else anymore. Well work of course, but no life.I am desperate for a change and weighing out my options. Only time will tell 

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I think I dodged a bullet like Neo. I assumed I'd get a pretty wacky depressive episode.
I feel ok, yesterday was ok. I think it's a record. Almost a week without feelings too awful. Please let it last!!

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I was very tired yesterday so I went to bed early and slept all night.   I am hoping to have a better day today.    

Last Tuesday I went to the park and I got hives.  I guess the heat/sun was too much for me.

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4 hours ago, Svenetc said:

I could not more than agree.... I do the exact same in my pathetic life. Between this forum and a chat site there is nothing else anymore. Well work of course, but no life.I am desperate for a change and weighing out my options. Only time will tell 

I have no life whatsoever.  I do what I have to do every day to survive but the only thing that excites me is when I look outside and it's getting dark and I know it's almost time for bed.

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10 hours ago, sober4life said:

I have no life whatsoever.  I do what I have to do every day to survive but the only thing that excites me is when I look outside and it's getting dark and I know it's almost time for bed.

I am in the same boat.  No life just existing.  

Just finished my therapy session. It went okay today.

Edited by duck
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I just want to feel better, I just want relief. Nothing gives that to me, my mind is constantly working against me. All I want to do is drop into a really deep sleep and not wake up for a few years. Im tired of living this life but I dont want to die either. I just want a break and them to come back to a different version of me. 

Edited by Charlee
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58 minutes ago, APFSDS said:

Sad. I contacted even more old friends. I cannot live like this any more... I need to talk to people again. Crying the whole morning.

Apply for job at a call center? They get talked to by the most people, even more so than any information counter 

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3 minutes ago, iWantRope said:

Apply for job at a call center? They get talked to by the most people, even more so than any information counter 

"Good morning! T.W.T. Communications, how may I help you?"
"Uh, your service is shit!"
"Thanks! Wanna come have a cup of coffee on thursday in that silly home-cafe place? 4 o clock?"

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