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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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Came here to pour out my crap. Starting a new job tomorrow and for the last few days a massive depression has been building up. All my insecurities have surged up to the surface. I just don't want to do it. I hate work and feel way too jaded and damaged to do it. 

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4 hours ago, worly said:

Came here to pour out my crap. Starting a new job tomorrow and for the last few days a massive depression has been building up. All my insecurities have surged up to the surface. I just don't want to do it. I hate work and feel way too jaded and damaged to do it. 

Dare I say I hope the last few days is the anxiety thats getting you flustered. Either way it is the depression talking and not you, you will rise to the occassion and start the new job. Give it a shot, it might be what you are looking for, new people, new routine etc, and if it is not, well then you can quit. 
your depression is telling you the negatives, tell yourself a few positives about how it is going to be different, a change, how you can smile for a few minutes.

i know it is hard, try to hang on to the positives, I wish you the best for tomorrow, and let us know how it goes. You are most likely stronger than you think you are right now!

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6 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Dare I say I hope the last few days is the anxiety thats getting you flustered. Either way it is the depression talking and not you, you will rise to the occassion and start the new job. Give it a shot, it might be what you are looking for, new people, new routine etc, and if it is not, well then you can quit. 
your depression is telling you the negatives, tell yourself a few positives about how it is going to be different, a change, how you can smile for a few minutes.

i know it is hard, try to hang on to the positives, I wish you the best for tomorrow, and let us know how it goes. You are most likely stronger than you think you are right now!

Thank you for your kind words. I barely slept, of course, but I'm getting ready to go. I will think of what you said

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Posted (edited)

I made an 11 hour drive to my home town today, (which I hate) but it is nice to see my family again 😌

and I’ve started using CBD oil, I’m honestly not sure if it helps with anxiety or sleep but we shall see, hopefully all the hype isn’t for nothing 🤞🤞🤞

Edited by Charlee
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Posted (edited)

Back at this lowest point. I can’t even describe how I feel. All I know is I feel broken, my tears won’t stop, the stress won’t stop, I can’t run, everything is my fault, I’m so overwhelmed, death won’t come, life keeps beating me up, no one is coming to help me and yet and yet and yet I gotto get up again. And again. And again. I don’t know how long I can keep doing this. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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6 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

Back at this lowest point. I can’t even describe how I feel. All I know is I feel broken, my tears won’t stop, the stress won’t stop, I can’t run, everything is my fault, I’m so overwhelmed, death won’t come, life keeps beating me up, no one is coming to help me and yet and yet and yet I gotto get up again. And again. And again. I don’t know how long I can keep doing this. 

Sending you hugs, energy and hope that its the depression you are listening to when writing the above..... now try to think about and do one good thing for yourself, hot shower, eat some ice cream, chocolate? Anything triggered you? You can get past it. Im of to therapy in 10 minutes.... you are not alone!🤗

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6 hours ago, Charlee said:

I made an 11 hour drive to my home town today, (which I hate) but it is nice to see my family again 😌

and I’ve started using CBD oil, I’m honestly not sure if it helps with anxiety or sleep but we shall see, hopefully all the hype isn’t for nothing 🤞🤞🤞

CBD is all about getting the dosing right, if it doesnt have any effect take more, but work up gradually,🤗

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I feel pretty good today except for pain.  My hand feels like someone smashed it with a hammer.  Someone told me my joint problems might be lingering issues from when I was sick before.:unsure:

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I don't think I'm paranoid.  I have things figured out.  I swear just the other day I was cleaning the toilets in the morning.  I didn't say anything or search for anything on any device.  I just typed in What's the best way to clean and the first thing that came up was a toilet.😒

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1 hour ago, Another Statistic said:

OUCH!

I spent the last few days working around the yard. You know that little piece of webbing between your thumb and forefinger? It's a crappy place to be stung by nettles

Hope some Motrin will help yer bones.

It's happened to me a lot of times.  Nettles even go through gloves.  Honestly I usually just let them go.  They have flowers so I just tell people they're a flower.

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Just now, Epictetus said:

The dreaded dry socket.  Ugh

Sorry Epic,

Jesus, I've had a couple, and dreaded is the word.  I'm having a dental surgeon (maxillofacial--I think he's generally called) work on my jaw and teeth now.  In the last decade I lost a couple of teeth, and I made sure the dentist sewed up the cavity while it was healing, to prevent a dry socket, which can put me into a fetal position. 

Hope it makes things better,

Bulgakov

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25 minutes ago, sober4life said:

It's happened to me a lot of times.  Nettles even go through gloves.  Honestly I usually just let them go.  They have flowers so I just tell people they're a flower.

This may be a very British thing, but dont nettles make a really good cup of tea? If you can get them before they sting ya!

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28 minutes ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Anyone ever lie about how there really doing

i did today

Every single day I worked as management..... going from humble worker upwards was a one way step, until I crashed, and every single day, I lied about how I was doing. My secretary would always ask, and I know she never believed me but.....

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I don't think I'm paranoid.  I have things figured out.  I swear just the other day I was cleaning the toilets in the morning.  I didn't say anything or search for anything on any device.  I just typed in What's the best way to clean and the first thing that came up was a toilet.😒

Anything connected with my house would say, clean...... the windows, doors, handles, car, bathroom, dining room, kitchen and yard...... it would be overwhelmed getting to details, lol 😂 

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I feel mad at myself, helpless and alone right now .... I do not like it whatsoever .... so I have to pick myself up again tomorrow I guess . I just needed to write it down and leave it here .... one of them days I assume..... darn it !

 

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35 minutes ago, Extremebeginner said:

This may be a very British thing, but dont nettles make a really good cup of tea? If you can get them before they sting ya!

Well it says Nettle has historically been used to treat pain and sore muscles, especially related to arthritis. The Arthritis Foundation suggests that nettle tea may also reduce the inflammation and pain association with osteoarthritis.  Maybe it could help me.  I never heard of it.  It's interesting that something that hurts you to touch it can be used to relieve pain.🤨

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

Well it says Nettle has historically been used to treat pain and sore muscles, especially related to arthritis. The Arthritis Foundation suggests that nettle tea may also reduce the inflammation and pain association with osteoarthritis.  Maybe it could help me.  I never heard of it.  It's interesting that something that hurts you to touch it can be used to relieve pain.🤨

We live and we learn! 

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4 hours ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Anyone ever lie about how there really doing

i did today

Every damn day, whenever anyone asks I’m always like “good!” When really it’s a mask and only my cat truely knows how I’m doing

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9 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

CBD is all about getting the dosing right, if it doesnt have any effect take more, but work up gradually,🤗

I finally finally got a long decent sleep last night! Almost 10 hours, longest sleep I’ve had in awhile, I felt good waking up today ☺️ Hopefully tonight will be the same! 🤞 

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5 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

This may be a very British thing, but dont nettles make a really good cup of tea? If you can get them before they sting ya!

 

4 hours ago, sober4life said:

Well it says Nettle has historically been used to treat pain and sore muscles, especially related to arthritis. The Arthritis Foundation suggests that nettle tea may also reduce the inflammation and pain association with osteoarthritis.  Maybe it could help me.  I never heard of it.  It's interesting that something that hurts you to touch it can be used to relieve pain.🤨

I did some running yesterday through a place where it's only used during winter as it's all flattened.

Knee-height Nettles galore! If I had arthritis, it's gone 🙂

You gave me an idea to pick nettles!

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