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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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I don't feel that good I haven't slipped that well in recent days with my finals and I've been crying a lot to. I'm really scared about everything. My body just curled up into a ball and didn't want to do anything except twitch occasionally. I felt like I didn't want to get better which really scared me. I've been trying to get friends and build relationships but I don't see how that'll be possible when I'm such a unstable wreck.

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I don't really want to get better either.  I want this to be over.  I wake up every morning hurting everywhere.  My mind is toast.  When I see people who knows if they're even really there and I guess who cares if they're really there.

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On 5/21/2021 at 3:05 PM, Another Statistic said:

Hey, @JD4010!

Everything under control?

Yes indeed. Thanks for checking. I've been "retired" for over a week now. Most of it is GREAT. The funniest part is no longer dropping into an abyss on Sunday nights with the dread of Monday looming.

I'm thinking of applying for disability because this illness was the direct cause of me having to retire. I've got the diagnoses of extreme depression and anxiety so I might be able to pull it off.

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8 hours ago, duck said:

They are encouraging people to get the vaccine 🙂

"Bribing" them. The health passport is now a thing for work and entry into certain establishments. It will soon be mandatory everywhere.

I said this over a year ago and people dismissed it like I was a nutter. Well, maybe I am a nutter, but even nutters can be right.

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Incredibly hopeless right now and my mind is in a dark place at the moment. Saying you care about ans respect someone and actually doing it are two very different things. Of course I always knew that but seeing it hit very close to home is tough.

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59 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

"Bribing" them. The health passport is now a thing for work and entry into certain establishments. It will soon be mandatory everywhere.

I said this over a year ago and people dismissed it like I was a nutter. Well, maybe I am a nutter, but even nutters can be right.

Move here.  Ohio is different.  Not a chance anyone will need the health passport here.  People wore masks here and that's about the only thing that was different.  When the governor said we didn't have to wear a mask anymore that day it was like nothing ever happened.  Everything was back to the way it was before this started.

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14 hours ago, Another Statistic said:

I'm not sure what the mental health system is like in SmurfLand, but it can't be anywhere near as bad as Canada where it is irrevocably broken. Yes, you can see your GP for free as often as you want, but the care is worth exactly what you pay for it.

Just as a curiosity, what does the life you dreamed of look like? In mine I'm the world's greatest guitarist, author, and software engineer. And I also have unlimited resources to rescue cats.

Interesting, Canada has an excellent health system in reality for physical illness. Despite all the talk, the mental illness part of the system is truly broken. There are almost no psychiatrists available on medicare, there are no psychologists on medicare and no therapists, that is of course unless you have been hospitalized for your mental health. Most insurance plans to cover the expenses are capped at 1000$ on a good plan, which will get you only 7 visits, before your treatment ends or you stop eating to cover the costs.

presently there is nobody accepting new patients so you have to basically deteriorate to get near a doctor capable of helping. Family doctors can prescribe some psych medications.

I’m at a real low point this month and Im feeling the Canadian system right now. If I had a physical illness diagnosis would be quick but Covid has created a three year backlog on elective surgery.

it is tough. How is mental health support in the US with insurance, anyone, similar?

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42 minutes ago, Another Statistic said:

I have only ever seen one tornado. I was a teenager, driving down a rural road in an aged Chevette that sported a slipping timing belt, a worn out clutch, and holes in a rusty floor. I was praying to all the 59 gods of horsepower in that car that the big-assed black funnel cloud would stay way back in my rear-view mirror.

I drove through one before on the highway.  I think about it every time I drive that road.  The storm is going to hit here at about 3 PM when it's in the 80s going into a cold front.  This is Ohio so this storm could really be bad especially since it's hitting us so early in the day.😟

Edited by sober4life
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18 hours ago, Another Statistic said:

I'm not sure what the mental health system is like in SmurfLand, but it can't be anywhere near as bad as Canada where it is irrevocably broken. Yes, you can see your GP for free as often as you want, but the care is worth exactly what you pay for it.

Just as a curiosity, what does the life you dreamed of look like? In mine I'm the world's greatest guitarist, author, and software engineer. And I also have unlimited resources to rescue cats.

I want to be able to enjoy my favorite meal, a walk in the park, a day with my family/friends ...i don't want my mind racing 400MPH with my anxiety/ocd thoughts... as far as dreams , i'm pretty simple, i never wanted or dreamed a big life with money or anything like that. I just want to be able to live "productive" ..when I say that I mean to live like others who don't have to deal with obsessing, anxiety, depression, and are able to enjoy life...where as for me, this illness makes everything extra hard to enjoy and it hurts when you run into doctors who just tell you "well unfortunately medications work for some, and others no, and we don't have a clear answer as to why at this moment"..  having a friendship, holding a job, in general doing things in life take effort, energy, etc, that this illness takes away from you, and all i want is for life to give me the opportunity to be able to experience those without constantly having to battle with my illness, but doctors don't know.

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9 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Interesting, Canada has an excellent health system in reality for physical illness. Despite all the talk, the mental illness part of the system is truly broken. There are almost no psychiatrists available on medicare, there are no psychologists on medicare and no therapists, that is of course unless you have been hospitalized for your mental health. Most insurance plans to cover the expenses are capped at 1000$ on a good plan, which will get you only 7 visits, before your treatment ends or you stop eating to cover the costs.

presently there is nobody accepting new patients so you have to basically deteriorate to get near a doctor capable of helping. Family doctors can prescribe some psych medications.

I’m at a real low point this month and Im feeling the Canadian system right now. If I had a physical illness diagnosis would be quick but Covid has created a three year backlog on elective surgery.

it is tough. How is mental health support in the US with insurance, anyone, similar?

I’m not far from the border so before Covid we had lots of Canadians coming down here to seek medical care and doctors/medical providers would run ads promoting that they are accepting Canadian patients. Not sure if that will be a thing anymore..at least for awhile as the border remains closed.

I have insurance via my employer and have had no issues with obtaining therapy. The place I currently am at has quite a few therpaists available and also psych providers to prescribe meds. There are several other places in my area I could go to if needed.

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2 minutes ago, monicott17 said:

I’m not far from the border so before Covid we had lots of Canadians coming down here to seek medical care and doctors/medical providers would run ads promoting that they are accepting Canadian patients. Not sure if that will be a thing anymore..at least for awhile as the border remains closed.

I have insurance via my employer and have had no issues with obtaining therapy. The place I currently am at has quite a few therpaists available and also psych providers to prescribe meds. There are several other places in my area I could go to if needed.

I’m waiting for our backwards government to open the border, believe me. We can eat do everything except eat inside a restaurant, go inside a gym. We can gather outside ice cream shacks in large numbers, go shopping in large numbers, do pretty much everything except visit your family, wtf, and cross the border. I had covid and Ihave had the vaccine too, as good as it gets to date. 50 miles from here, no masks, no restrictions at all, except maybe respect for others when in a crowded place.

Personally I can’t wait to leave Canada, and yes deal with whatever I have to elsewhere, just not this attack on everybody's sanity.....

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Come to rural Ohio.  I think anyone can have a peaceful life here.  We had restrictions here but people pretty much just did whatever they wanted to do the whole time.  The one thing Ohio is known for is you see a lot of cops when you go out.  You will most likely see a cop every time you go out and I never saw one the entire time wearing a mask.  So who's really going to enforce the rules?

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On 5/25/2021 at 12:14 PM, sober4life said:

I don't really want to get better either.  I want this to be over.  I wake up every morning hurting everywhere.  My mind is toast.  When I see people who knows if they're even really there and I guess who cares if they're really there.

Me too.  I am sick and tired of life and dealing with some people!

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Being grateful because things can be worse but it is not. That's not really something great to be grateful about, is it..sigh.. The voices in my head is very strong today. I don't know what to do.. feeling so much more lost than usual.. which I didn't know is even possible for me

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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On 5/25/2021 at 1:12 PM, JD4010 said:

Yes indeed. Thanks for checking. I've been "retired" for over a week now. Most of it is GREAT. The funniest part is no longer dropping into an abyss on Sunday nights with the dread of Monday looming.

I'm thinking of applying for disability because this illness was the direct cause of me having to retire. I've got the diagnoses of extreme depression and anxiety so I might be able to pull it off.

I agree.  You should apply for disability!   If you can get a doctor to fill the forms then it should be okay.   👍

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4 hours ago, duck said:

I agree.  You should apply for disability!   If you can get a doctor to fill the forms then it should be okay.   👍

duck is 9,000,000% correct. There are no KPIs to meet to maintain receiving disability, more importantly no ****ING B****** colleagues tolerate.

I would have tried applying for disability instead of job searching, if it exists in my country for mental health conditions.

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On 5/24/2021 at 3:59 AM, sober4life said:

Maybe just go to your local pharmacy.  In Ohio it's to the point where they can take walk-ins like they do with the flu shot.  At Walmart it's even on the loud speaker the whole time you're there for their pharmacy.  Once it's to the point where you can do it the walk-in way the state will probably give up for the most part.

Thanks... yes, the places around here are advertising walk-ins, which would be nice... except they don't have any walk-in slots available when you walk in. 🤔😂😒

Nonetheless, I finally managed to snag one of the few available slots online at one place for tomorrow. Let's just hope this one works out.

 

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I hurt everywhere.  I think I'm going to feel every warm or cold front from here on out.  Every time there's a change in the barometric pressure it feels like I was in a wreck the day before.  I'm going to take it easy today and work with my flowers.  Wow I've changed big time.  I'm so glad I did.  It made me smile this morning seeing the red angus cow up close and seeing she has very long eyelashes!  I know who else would tell you that cows have eyelashes?🤭

Edited by sober4life
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Well, I'm trying to relax but I feel bored 😂 After all of this drama and chaos. Whoduthunkit. Bored. Huh. I guess I'm just gonna have to be bored. Better than panicked I guess 🤷‍♀️ I'm back on it with the packing and cleaning etc tomorrow so I guess I won't be bored any more 🤔

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