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How do You Feel Right Now? #12

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Just now, Devlinkyla said:

the answer to this crap I don’t know 🤷‍♀️ 

Sorry choices are ganging up on you Dev; it sounds really unpleasant.   Maybe you can make it to Thursday.  I don't know about your area, but most hospitals and personnel are over run, with Corona.  Thursday you can reset with doc visit and meds filled. 

Better Daze, Bulgakov

 

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1 hour ago, Bulgakov said:

Sorry choices are ganging up on you Dev; it sounds really unpleasant.   Maybe you can make it to Thursday.  I don't know about your area, but most hospitals and personnel are over run, with Corona.  Thursday you can reset with doc visit and meds filled. 

Better Daze, Bulgakov

 

Yea am gong to wait till Thursday 

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5 hours ago, Devlinkyla said:

I need help!!! Not sure what to do....

I'm in similar ****…

…anyone can advise how to resist the urge to ***** the neck of ***** coworker(s)?

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On 3/22/2020 at 10:18 AM, Tilted said:

I can relate to this. I feel like I've become an expert on the subjects of self-isolating and "social distancing" after years of living with the personal, emotional epidemic of severe depression. 

In a weird sort of way -  I almost feel more prepared for the current crisis than other people. My world fell apart six years ago, so now it  just feels like the rest of the world is just catching up. 

You are correct. That's exactly how I feel.  

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Do any of you guys base your therapy in doing some sport? I'm getting sick (mentally) without being able to go outside to run, that was supporting my mental health. This ain't easy 😕

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Crap as usual. High anxiety and empty as ever. Angry at the world, humanity and myself.

If I was stuck in my life before the f ucking virus I will be more so after. 

The economy has gone down the drain(and no, we won't come up with a more sustainable economy cause no one really wants it), travelling will be more difficult (my only respite in life, that is when I can afford it) and as an over 50 with no skills, no interests and a worthless work experience at a string of dead end jobs, I see no future for myself. I don't want anything enough make the effort and why should I as I will fail anyhow. That's the only thing I am good at. Failing.

I HATE MY ****I NG JOB. so much. And there is nothing I can do about it. Nothing interests me on the non existent job market. I am burnt out(again) and I see no way out. The world is fcked and I even more so. 

How can any of this possibly end well??

I wish I could die now.

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I feel very hopeful actually.  I feel like we're at the darkest point but things are about to get better quickly.  By Easter I think things will be night and day different.  Everyone stay strong!  We will get through this!

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On 3/22/2020 at 11:53 AM, samadhiSheol said:

Worried. Not about f ucking covid19 per se, but way it influences our day to day, the fact that quite a few of us could be laid off work indefinitely, perhaps permenantly. 

If we do enter a new global depression, it’s not because of a virus. It’s because of US and our dysfunctional global economy and socio-cultural structure. 

Overpopulation, disaster capitalism, nationalism, isolationism, religion, small mindedness, stupidity.

So you can add being pissed off and hopelessness about any kind of future asides being worried.

I agree. I have this nagging feeling that the virus is being used as an instrument to throw us into world-wide austerity. After all, we are owned by the banks, and the banks' enforcement arm--the governments.

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Several years ago, I and a number of my Native American friends were kinda sorta planning to start an off-grid community on reservation land, in order to distance ourselves as far as possible from the deadly and destructive "society" we are caught in. Well, we had a lot of discussion and planning, but never any action.

And now, look where we are. Coulda woulda shoulda.

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12 hours ago, nothing_man said:

Do any of you guys base your therapy in doing some sport? I'm getting sick (mentally) without being able to go outside to run, that was supporting my mental health. This ain't easy 😕

No but I wish I did.  I am bored with this social distancing thing.

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8 minutes ago, JD4010 said:

Several years ago, I and a number of my Native American friends were kinda sorta planning to start an off-grid community on reservation land, in order to distance ourselves as far as possible from the deadly and destructive "society" we are caught in. Well, we had a lot of discussion and planning, but never any action.

And now, look where we are. Coulda woulda shoulda.

I would do something like that for sure!

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I've had vivid nightmares the past two nights, which I've been prescribed Prazosin for. I woke up at least twice last night, and four times the night before. One time when I woke I began having paranoid thoughts about the corona virus being a conspiracy for reasons I won't get into here. I had a disturbing dream about someone making paintings, with another person with a facial deformity, using ground beef.

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Posted (edited)

I just cut my arm three times with the back of a pin. I haven't cut myself since in four our five months. I don't want to tell my dad. We have a bunch of people at the house for my brother's birthday. I don't want to call my therapist because he will only ask to talk to my dad. One of the cuts was bleeding, but it's mostly come to a stop. I've doused it in rubbing alcohol. I hate feeling like I'm too fundamentally weak and stupid to make enough of myself so I don't hate myself so much. I hate that I have to live in a world where I am automatically placed somewhere on a totem pole according to what I'm worth and what abilities I may or may not have.

Sometimes I want to do something to make the entire world hate me. I don't know if it's worse to live as a weakling, or **** myself and leave everyone with the impression that I was a poor tortured soul which is the image I've been trying to distance myself from for a year now.

Edited by SqueezeWax

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1 hour ago, SqueezeWax said:

I've had vivid nightmares the past two nights, which I've been prescribed Prazosin for. I woke up at least twice last night, and four times the night before. One time when I woke I began having paranoid thoughts about the corona virus being a conspiracy for reasons I won't get into here. I had a disturbing dream about someone making paintings, with another person with a facial deformity, using ground beef.

There could be a conspiracy to a point surrounding all of this.  I'm sure there are always things we're not being told but not in a million years do I believe there is a person or group of people out there saying yes things are going exactly as planned.  There's too much to the whole situation for it to all be a perfectly planned conspiracy.  I don't think it's possible.

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4 minutes ago, sober4life said:

There could be a conspiracy to a point surrounding all of this.  I'm sure there are always things we're not being told but not in a million years do I believe there is a person or group of people out there saying yes things are going exactly as planned.  There's too much to the whole situation for it to all be a perfectly planned conspiracy.  I don't think it's possible.

I don't think it's a conspiracy when I'm in my right mind. I typically don't feel too distressed over it. It's normal for my to wake up from nightmares feeling panicked and paranoid about something. Most of the time I wake up convinced that all my hair or my teeth are falling out.

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this suck. I had my first real job at the beggining of the month but was lay off because business was slow  due to covid. well thing are worse for a lot of people. Im also encouraging my dad to stay the F home loll. anyway since quarantine I just be eating and eating. Also i've lost 10 pound before all that.guess all the  weight will come back...

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On 3/21/2020 at 7:30 AM, duck said:

How is everyone doing?  I mean it's like a ghost town everywhere I go.  The streets are empty.  The stores are empty + plus empty shelves.   All restaurants and coffee shops are closed.  Gyms are closed.  It is more like what is not closed.  State of emergency declared almost everywhere.  Whatever that means.  Free parking, free bus/train rides.  No place to go so what''s the point of free parking and bus rides?  

Medcation is limited to thirty days.  I usually get ninety days because it is cheaper.  Evertime I buy a medication I have to pay a dispensing fee of twelve dollars.  Now I will have to pay more.  Obviously, the pharmacies will make more money.  

Our Canadian Government failed to do anything significant to help us.  Some people will get a bit more money but that's it.  What we need right now is a check/cheque for two thousand dollars.   The cash will help many people.  

 

yup trudeau failed big time. I also buy my med for 2 month but cant anymore. its was so weird and quiet in the bus and subway last week.

and wtf at the 12$ dispensing fee.

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I won't see or hear from anyone until Easter.  It's hard continuing day after day knowing nobody would care if I died or not.  I try with everything in me to keep this life going and I know I don't even enter the thoughts of the people in real life.

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On 2/19/2020 at 4:33 PM, sober4life said:

I remember the times when I was happier.  I was happier because I had a more naive attitude about life.  I believed there was some good in the world.  I don't believe that anymore and even if there is good in the world evil is in full control so I lose.

I don't believe I have ever been truly, unreservedly happy. If I was, I don't remember how it feels.

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