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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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48 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I feel very scared and very hopeless.

I’m so sorry to hear that your feeling down and out, I hope your feeling better real soon! And remember you always have caring friends here to lend you a helping hand! 😃

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1 hour ago, Wiswash said:

I’m so sorry to hear that your feeling down and out, I hope your feeling better real soon! And remember you always have caring friends here to lend you a helping hand! 😃

Thank you I'm trying with everything in me to get better.  I have to be better by Friday because that's the day family will show up the day after 14 days since I started getting sick.  If I'm not better than this on Friday I'll be waving goodbye to this place.

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

Thank you I'm trying with everything in me to get better.  I have to be better by Friday because that's the day family will show up the day after 14 days since I started getting sick.  If I'm not better than this on Friday I'll be waving goodbye to this place.

Ohh, any idea what is making you sick?

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Slept from 7 to 11 pm, been up all night... it's 4 am
I don't know whether I have anxiety or something wrong with my heart. Went for a bike ride in the woods. Darkness is comforting, though.

Basically I feel anxious... not too bad, but it's not good enough.

Edited by APFSDS
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1 hour ago, Wiswash said:

Ohh, any idea what is making you sick?

I do have an idea even though I was never tested because I'm so afraid of everyone.  Whatever I have gone through so far has been the worst stretch of 13 days of my life.  I think the rash is starting to fade but I'll be honest I'm almost afraid to say that.  What else will happen?  I told everyone I came in contact with over the phone and so far nobody else has gotten sick.  I've been hiding here ever since.

Edited by sober4life
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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I do have an idea even though I was never tested because I'm so afraid of everyone.  Whatever I have gone through so far has been the worst stretch of 13 days of my life.  I think the rash is starting to fade but I'll be honest I'm almost afraid to say that.  What else will happen?  I told everyone I came in contact with over the phone and so far nobody else has gotten sick.  I've been hiding here ever since.

So may I ask, what do you think it is? Are you afraid you have COVID or something else? If you don’t mind my asking?

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Well, so far today I had a burst of energy this morning and got a couple of chores done. Now, I'm having a cuppa and feeling a bit anxious 🤷‍♀️

I have to take a shower in a minute and then head out for mini lion supplies. I don't feel good about the fact that I'm spending more time looking after the house and garden at the moment than I am taking care of myself. Perhaps that is normal these days 😕

Edited by Nightjar
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7 hours ago, Wiswash said:

So may I ask, what do you think it is? Are you afraid you have COVID or something else? If you don’t mind my asking?

Yes I think it was Covid.  The rash is starting to fade.  I'm starting to feel better.  This was the most nasty vicious thing I've ever had.

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

Yes I think it was Covid.  The rash is starting to fade.  I'm starting to feel better.  This was the most nasty vicious thing I've ever had.

Glad you are feeling better 😁❤️😘

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On 4/20/2021 at 2:05 PM, Bulgakov said:

Best Luck In2--"free" and "different" always get my attention too.  Thanks for playing.🤠

Bulgakov

Free education and training packs. Download them to your PC. Mostly lecture stuff in video format with lecture screens in PDF format. Some have labs and the software they help with can be found for free also. At least what I'm looking at. Only very product specific stuff for big ticket hardware and software is at cost and that cost is ridiculous.

The training courses for free are decent and cover the whole gammit of things out there so they are worth looking into. There is FreeCourseWeb, Udemy, Lynda (30 days free). Many of those course can also be found on bittorrent sites for free. Many colleges now offer quite a few free courses.

In my case I'm looking at some of the "Cloud" training and associated tests. I have more complete courses, exam prep material, and mock exams, than I can do the rest of the year. I've been collecting them for a while. Now it's time to start them.

If anyone needs help finding any kind of training stuff let me know and I'll help out.

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On 4/21/2021 at 3:58 AM, Nightjar said:

Hey 2deep. I'm glad you're finding other outlets to be a positive thing for you.... It doesn't matter if you dip in and out a bit here. I don't think anyone's gonna judge. 

You do have friends here and we ain't gonna forget you that easily, if at all 😜

People tend to remember who stood by them when the chips were down 🦋

Thanks NJ. I'm limiting time on several things that are not helping. Doesn't mean I'm disappearing though. I know I have some friends here and that's good. I just need to find a way to not just use this site to comisserate and complain about depression. There has to be a better answer. I'm tired of the one I've been using the past several years.

I got some very hard reminders of what's important several times the past couple of years. The one that keeps coming back simply comes down to this. Get on with living or get on with dying, but stop sitting in limbo. I may not unfuk my brain but I have to get up and unstuck myself.

 

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Have just found out that my boyfriend is flirting with the girls he works with and is bragging about it to his friends, I feel broken, made to look like an idiot, sitting here waiting for him to come back whilst he’s having the time of his life. I don’t know how to feel, he told me that he loves me and I’m blowing this out of proportion, I’m broken because he said that he would never break up with me and that just makes it harder to break up, I don’t believe him, I don’t trust him, I don’t do relationships

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feeling numb and unmotivated. really tempted to spend the day in a dark room watching TV. my husband is having an off day due to very poor sleep. I'm finding myself slightly more sensitive but able to control my reactions a lot better bc i'm also kinda numb. It's easier to just be like, whatever I'll just do "something else". That something else is usually sitting for hours on end hopping in and out of reality. My brain is very drawn to rumination right now. I have to catch myself and then try really hard to pull away. Keeps me frozen in my seat.

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18 hours ago, APFSDS said:

Slept from 7 to 11 pm, been up all night... it's 4 am
I don't know whether I have anxiety or something wrong with my heart. Went for a bike ride in the woods. Darkness is comforting, though.

Basically I feel anxious... not too bad, but it's not good enough.

I need to buy a bike too.  Tomorrow I´m going to the woods, last time I was there my anxiety disappeared.  

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2 hours ago, Mikayla said:

I need to buy a bike too.  Tomorrow I´m going to the woods, last time I was there my anxiety disappeared.  

Both are really good ways of controlling emotions for me. 🙂 Hope your anxiety goes away!

--

Half 2 in the morning. A few hours and I'm going for a hike at dawn. Packed my stuff.
Feeling a bit excited; no detailed instructions released yet makes me a bit buzzy.

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I just had the worst episode of heartburn in my life.  Excruciating pain in my esophagus and back, light-headedness, cold sweat.  Yikes. Didn't know a human body could experience such pain and still live.

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8 hours ago, Soarsie18 said:

Have just found out that my boyfriend is flirting with the girls he works with and is bragging about it to his friends, I feel broken, made to look like an idiot, sitting here waiting for him to come back whilst he’s having the time of his life. I don’t know how to feel, he told me that he loves me and I’m blowing this out of proportion, I’m broken because he said that he would never break up with me and that just makes it harder to break up, I don’t believe him, I don’t trust him, I don’t do relationships

Soarsie,

My girlfriend ended up dumping me. Now all I do is workout, go running. I feel like a product in a window and people evaluate my worth lol you just gotta get angry and pump the iron and make him wish he never cheated >:D and one day he will come crawling back to you but then you just stand your ground and say no thanks 🙂

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28 minutes ago, Evergreenforst4 said:

Soarsie,

My girlfriend ended up dumping me. Now all I do is workout, go running. I feel like a product in a window and people evaluate my worth lol you just gotta get angry and pump the iron and make him wish he never cheated >:D and one day he will come crawling back to you but then you just stand your ground and say no thanks 🙂

He already has lol, was crying down the phone

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13 minutes ago, Soarsie18 said:

He already has lol, was crying down the phone

I'm sorry Soarsie 😞 He doesn't deserve you. Go do something for yourself ok. Eat something you like. You deserve better. You are a great person, He is a jerk who doesn't know how to appreciate what he has. ((Hugs))

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6 hours ago, bellerose said:

feeling numb and unmotivated. really tempted to spend the day in a dark room watching TV. my husband is having an off day due to very poor sleep. I'm finding myself slightly more sensitive but able to control my reactions a lot better bc i'm also kinda numb. It's easier to just be like, whatever I'll just do "something else". That something else is usually sitting for hours on end hopping in and out of reality. My brain is very drawn to rumination right now. I have to catch myself and then try really hard to pull away. Keeps me frozen in my seat.

Small positive steps. I can relate to the numb feeling. Dark room, TV is all good once in a while just try to find a reason to do something else. We all need to develop personally or we are just waiting for what! Hope you can find three things a day that are positive

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2 hours ago, Epictetus said:

I just had the worst episode of heartburn in my life.  Excruciating pain in my esophagus and back, light-headedness, cold sweat.  Yikes. Didn't know a human body could experience such pain and still live.

Sorry about that, any reason you can think of? Can you get some over the counter stuff in case it happens again. Pretty sure its available..... pain is amplified by our fear of how bad it can be, which makes our already messed up brains fear the worse. Hope you are over it now

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I'm filled with so much anger at everything. Then I get tired of being angry. Then I just hate myself for being angry in the first place. I hate humans. I hate being human if I have to go through so many feelings. I wish I know what to do with them. But all I can do is run away again. Nothing ever gets better. People would say I should improve my attitude. Yea of course I need to fix my attitude. There's always something wrong with me. But its easier to run away. Nothing ever gets better. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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