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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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Just now, sober4life said:

I feel like I am a balloon with all the air let out at this point.  Very rundown.

Hope you feel better soon Sober.  Fatigue is a symptom of most ailments, everywhere.  Likely you have what used to be called a "bug," a temporary reaction to something, but even bugs last 3-7 days. 

Bulgakov

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21 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

I am actually just lying in bed, and for the first time in a while I felt that good feeling. My cat just came and lay down next to me and purred his heart out. It is those simple things....

My favorite place is in my recliner with the three cats all sitting on me.

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Having my own place seems to be me saying I don't know is that really falling apart enough to do anything about it yet all the time.  I've done a lot of other things outside but the house just add more duct tape.  "Strangely" I just don't care anymore.

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On 4/14/2021 at 12:25 PM, ladysmurf said:

anxious, i barely eat, and i feel hopeless, what else is new....nothing will ever change, and yet doctors tell you to hold for hope because medicine is always improving..

Something has to change, it will. I have set my phone to remind me to eat regularly cuz I really could skip food. People comment on how I have lost weight.... they dont realise I want my weight back, I was only  a few pounds overweight before.

hope you can start to see a real light

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7 minutes ago, Extremebeginner said:

Something has to change, it will. I have set my phone to remind me to eat regularly cuz I really could skip food. People comment on how I have lost weight.... they dont realise I want my weight back, I was only  a few pounds overweight before.

hope you can start to see a real light

I agree, that anxious and nevertheless depressed and hopeless feelings don’t ever seem to go away, but have faith and have some Mac and cheese “! After all it’s comfort food! So they say..and go to bed tonight knowing your not alone!! 👍

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

Having my own place seems to be me saying I don't know is that really falling apart enough to do anything about it yet all the time.  I've done a lot of other things outside but the house just add more duct tape.  "Strangely" I just don't care anymore.

Not so strange @sober4life, I feel like nothing will ever happen that’s positive or good in my life “Ever”..just gotta keep moving I guess! 👍

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21 minutes ago, Wiswash said:

Not so strange @sober4life, I feel like nothing will ever happen that’s positive or good in my life “Ever”..just gotta keep moving I guess! 👍

I want everyone to keep moving.  I don't want anyone to give up.  I remember the first time I rode the Millennium Force roller coaster at Cedar Point the first year it was out 308 foot drop 93 MPH.  Yeah I have to try this!  It was a completely blue sky perfect day when me and mom got in line.  By the time we got to the roller coaster it got very humid and very cloudy.  Eh we've made it this far we might as well do it so we got on.  Dropping off the hill you could look down and you couldn't see much of anything.  It looked foggy.  It wasn't fog it was mosquitos so going 93 through that thick of mosquitos in the front seat of the coaster for the first 3/4 of the trip and then a total downpour at the end.  That seems to be life being lured in.  Who would worry total blue skies and a perfect day.  That's life but you know what if the rest of my life could be that ride over and over and over with her sitting beside me I would do it.  

 

Edited by sober4life
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I think I feel relieved and quite good. I finally did something I should've done a long time ago. Quite an achievement...

It's odd to think, that desperation may actually be the catalyst for nice things too...🙂

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41 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I want everyone to keep moving.  I don't want anyone to give up.  I remember the first time I rode the Millennium Force roller coaster at Cedar Point the first year it was out 308 foot drop 93 MPH.  Yeah I have to try this!  It was a completely blue sky perfect day when me and mom got in line.  By the time we got to the roller coaster it got very humid and very cloudy.  Eh we've made it this far we might as well do it so we got on.  Dropping off the hill you could look down and you couldn't see much of anything.  It looked foggy.  It wasn't fog it was mosquitos so going 93 through that thick of mosquitos in the front seat of the coaster for the first 3/4 of the trip and then a total downpour at the end.  That seems to be life being lured in.  Who would worry total blue skies and a perfect day.  That's life but you know what if the rest of my life could be that ride over and over and over with her sitting beside me I would do it.  

 

@sober4life..😀 so would I! 

 

2 hours ago, sober4life said:

Having my own place seems to be me saying I don't know is that really falling apart enough to do anything about it yet all the time.  I've done a lot of other things outside but the house just add more duct tape.  "Strangely" I just don't care anymore.

 

43 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I want everyone to keep moving.  I don't want anyone to give up.  I remember the first time I rode the Millennium Force roller coaster at Cedar Point the first year it was out 308 foot drop 93 MPH.  Yeah I have to try this!  It was a completely blue sky perfect day when me and mom got in line.  By the time we got to the roller coaster it got very humid and very cloudy.  Eh we've made it this far we might as well do it so we got on.  Dropping off the hill you could look down and you couldn't see much of anything.  It looked foggy.  It wasn't fog it was mosquitos so going 93 through that thick of mosquitos in the front seat of the coaster for the first 3/4 of the trip and then a total downpour at the end.  That seems to be life being lured in.  Who would worry total blue skies and a perfect day.  That's life but you know what if the rest of my life could be that ride over and over and over with her sitting beside me I would do it.  

 

 

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5 minutes ago, Wiswash said:

Bye the way, how do you stay sober for life?...self medicating sucks!!

I don't do it because it doesn't work anymore.  Nothing works anymore.  I've had an addictive personality from the beginning probably.  I've gone all in on just about everything to the point where nothing is enjoyable anymore.  Yes I switched over to taking care of myself with diet and exercise and when I lost the weight the brain got better and the need for everything wasn't as strong anymore but in the end the pilot light blew out forever.  I sit here and wait.  Most of my life is about as enjoyable as sitting in the waiting room at the doctor's office.

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Just now, sober4life said:

Who would worry total blue skies and a perfect day.  That's life but you know what if the rest of my life could be that ride over and over and over with her sitting beside me I would do it. 

Nice remembrance.  Your perception of what makes a perfect day, or an imperfect mosquito day, has gotten bigger. 

Bulgakov

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5 hours ago, Atra said:

Got my second vax shot this afternoon and I'm feeling a bit achy and a little sick. Might be worse tomorrow. 

Which did you receive..... for many people its two days with a slight fever and aches,  if you get a reaction. Drink plenty of water

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13 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Something has to change, it will. I have set my phone to remind me to eat regularly cuz I really could skip food. People comment on how I have lost weight.... they dont realise I want my weight back, I was only  a few pounds overweight before.

hope you can start to see a real light

i have to force myself to eat because nothing really tastes good. anxiety and depression make others want to eat for me it's like i could care less, and the last thing i want is to become anemic because that's not fun either. also i've lost weight too and i think people look at me weird, but i don't care . none of them know what it's like to not be able to eat because nothing tastes good. i doubt anything will ever change, i think medicine is way behind. most of the people don't respond to medications and therapies, and they just tell us "keep thinking positive, and medicine is always changing" but i don't see it happening for me.

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I still have congestion in my head and a cough.  I made the mistake of telling people about all of this so now I'm afraid of them hearing me cough over the phone.  I'm afraid of them showing up here.  I never have a moment of peace here at all.  I'm scared of everyone I know every time I see them or talk to them because I know I'm in such a vulnerable position all the time.  Am I still sick?  The best anwer is do I ever stop feeling sick?

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I feel ok, just really tired I think, the kind of tired that sits deep in your bones, you can see it in your eyes and on your face how tired you are, you know its the deep tiredness of depression, thats how tired I am, I'm just tired 😕 

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9 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

i have to force myself to eat because nothing really tastes good. anxiety and depression make others want to eat for me it's like i could care less, and the last thing i want is to become anemic because that's not fun either. also i've lost weight too and i think people look at me weird, but i don't care . none of them know what it's like to not be able to eat because nothing tastes good. i doubt anything will ever change, i think medicine is way behind. most of the people don't respond to medications and therapies, and they just tell us "keep thinking positive, and medicine is always changing" but i don't see it happening for me.

im the same, I was told by my doctor I need to gain weight and eat more but I cant, food doesn't taste food or feel good in my body so I eat what I need to because I dont want to get sick either. But I dont get enjoyment or pleasure out of eating, it mostly feels like a chore and something I have to do. 

Edited by Charlee
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On 4/15/2021 at 1:49 PM, Bulgakov said:

Hope you feel better soon Sober.  Fatigue is a symptom of most ailments, everywhere.  Likely you have what used to be called a "bug," a temporary reaction to something, but even bugs last 3-7 days. 

Bulgakov

I started hiding away here on Monday.  I can't tell you much of anything that's happened all week.  Mentally is the biggest problem.  Someone with my condition can't do this.

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2 hours ago, Charlee said:

im the same, I was told by my doctor I need to gain weight and eat more but I cant, food doesn't taste food or feel good in my body so I eat what I need to because I dont want to get sick either. But I dont get enjoyment or pleasure out of eating, it mostly feels like a chore and something I have to do. 

Not wanting to eat is terrible and misunderstood by those who haven’t experienced it. Eating too much is bad too but the effects creep up slowly. My only tip is that you must try and get your routine down to where you eat as a habit. I suffer from the long haul covid effects of no taste or smell. I have to do it by routine and I always carry high energy bars with me, so if I suddenly feel the urge to eat, not that often..... but I have something to eat. And always, always, always have water with me-to drink. I feel for you and understand what your dealing with

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8 hours ago, Nightjar said:

OMG, rough day today. My tarot cards said I needed rest and boy, were they right. I've been so irritable around people. It was the wrong day to have a day out with my dad 😣

It might not have been the best day as far as you are concerned but maybe he enjoyed your company anyway, and maybe you needed extra support from him today..... so looking on the positive side, as we are told to do. Now relax, hope tomorrow’s better

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