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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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In a really bad place right now. Came home at lunch time on Tuesday, crying. Called HR and said I need to take time off for my mental health. Seeing my doctor tomorrow. Seeing a psychologist again. Doctor put me on Clonazepam when I saw him 3 weeks ago. Pretty sure he's going to put me on stress leave tomorrow. Good lord, it seems like a sleeping giant has been waiting to come back and haunt me, but he's even bigger and stronger now. Where will I end up this time? Too much stress, in work, life, the world has me completely on edge. Must shut down my brain... 

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RobM

i understand the work and life stress, it is key to not let it overwhelm you, do what you know you need to do, going off on leave is what i did because of work stress, heck i retired from a job because leave time just wasn't enough, the stress came right back every time i went back, as far as your doc's and therapist they can only be helpful if you are completely honest about how you are feeling, if you hold stuff back you are handicapping them, welcome to the forum, i hope you find us helpful

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11 hours ago, RobM said:

In a really bad place right now. Came home at lunch time on Tuesday, crying. Called HR and said I need to take time off for my mental health. Seeing my doctor tomorrow. Seeing a psychologist again. Doctor put me on Clonazepam when I saw him 3 weeks ago. Pretty sure he's going to put me on stress leave tomorrow. Good lord, it seems like a sleeping giant has been waiting to come back and haunt me, but he's even bigger and stronger now. Where will I end up this time? Too much stress, in work, life, the world has me completely on edge. Must shut down my brain... 

Sorry to hear that.

We need a more just society instead of treating workers like cheap tools.

Sometimes you just got to be tough and stand up to these giants though. Maybe that seems too scary, you have to innovate and be creative like throwing a rock that hits the giant right in the head.

I would not feel it likes your fault, this is a macro societal problem in America. Workers without Bachelor degrees have high rates of suicide and substance use.

..the truth is that you are a lot stronger than you think and they people who cause you this grief are a lot more vulnerable than you think. You are a mighty warrior Rob and you tell HR and you tell those you wont take this kind of treatment anymore! Because you can stand up to them and make a difference

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1 hour ago, samadhiSheol said:

I can’t stop being angry with myself.

I see no reason to stop, as I don’t see any version of myself worth the bother, this nonentity I am sure isn’t.

I just hate myself. I think I have hated myself all my life.

I know how you feel.  I've felt the same way my whole life.  The hardest thing about all the changes I've made over the last 5 years is knowing that I still feel the same way about myself.

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Seriously? My U.S. state is in a state of emergency, schools are closing and are sending students home, businesses are asking workers to telecommute, and my business is continuing to hold interviews with candidates tomorrow?!?! 

I'm incredulous -- stunned really. What the hell? Are they really that stubborn and ignorant?????? 

I've been working at home for the last few days because I got sick on my travels. I don't know if I have Coronavirus... I am seeing the doctor on Sat. I don't have those exact symptoms, but you never know so I'm going.

I pray for everyone. 

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2 hours ago, Devlinkyla said:

Talked to my therapist on the phone a minute ago he wants to make a new safety plan because he said the one we have don’t seem to be working very well am not sure why I did what I was supposed to do 🤔🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I've been very worried about you lately.:sniffle1:

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Hey!

Sorry I didn't give notice that I was going to disappear for awhile. It just kinda happened. And I'm still thinking I'm going to take a break for awhile. Just too many things that keep me online and I feel I have to cut back a little for some time, till I get my priorities straightened. Frankly though, tonight I feel like being here because I feel emotional about something someone said to me...i mean I kinda disagree with it and want to hide from that...but maybe they're right? I dunno. Is it a bad thing I wake up first thing in the morning and go online? That's honestly like the best time for me to do it and then take a break all afternoon. I don't see why I have to do work right away and then "play". I ...i dunno. Maybe I should give it a try though. Im also being pestered about going back to therapy/seeing a pdoc. Ugh! It's a huge hassle, but I dunno. You probably would agree on that. Maybe? Maybe not?

Again, sorry, but this time for the stupid and awkward post. Im feeling really mentally clumsy right now...was complete brain fog earlier. Anyway, so maybe ill see you tomorrow. Maybe in another few days. I kinda might need some different perspective on some of these issues. 

Thanks for reading! ❤️

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I'm anxious. We bought $200 worth of groceries last night, and the store was practically cleaned out. Toilet paper is scarce, but my business is still operating as usual, and I'm waiting for them to tell us all to work from home. I am worried that my husband will be sent home for two weeks without pay, in which case, we cannot afford rent. This virus is a total disaster and it's scaring me. My anxiety is growing and I'm just trying to take things day by day, but that's hard to do. Everything is shutting down where I live, and it's freaking me out. 

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On 2/18/2020 at 8:38 PM, Fray13 said:

Anxious. On edge. My right front tooth snapped off on Friday night and I don't have money or insurance or anything to fix it. Now I feel even MORE self conscious when I go out into public (shopping, work, etc). I'm already an ugly freak and this is just more icing on the cake. Thanks a lot "life".

I worry about my own teeth quite a lot. They give us so much grief don't you think? They often feel like such an evolutionary misstep.

On 2/18/2020 at 5:11 PM, JD4010 said:

I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. It always does and always will.

I woke up this morning and thought very seriously about just staying in bed. But the pile of work I've got at the office has become absurdly huge and I'm overwhelmed.

In the grand scheme of things, there's never a reason to get out of bed.

31 minutes ago, Shijima said:

Calm, content,  and in deep though about things. I'm doing good overall. 

What's your secret?

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@Mark250

I guess just pushing the pain deep inside and pushing through it even if I'm suffering as well in pain. Tough love perhaps or trying my best to fight still. I am doing good but truly good isn't the case I think to be honest. I'm sorry for giving you a depressing answer. 

Also I know how that feels what your going through. 

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5 hours ago, RiverLight said:

I'm anxious. We bought $200 worth of groceries last night, and the store was practically cleaned out. Toilet paper is scarce, but my business is still operating as usual, and I'm waiting for them to tell us all to work from home. I am worried that my husband will be sent home for two weeks without pay, in which case, we cannot afford rent. This virus is a total disaster and it's scaring me. My anxiety is growing and I'm just trying to take things day by day, but that's hard to do. Everything is shutting down where I live, and it's freaking me out. 

Hey River!

I'm also concerned. Apparently our state has declared a state of emergency and things are closing down here too. Haven't been to the store since the worst of this, but I'm afraid of running out of toilet paper, for instance, and it being cleaned out. Oh this is just madness! But I'm trying not to panic.

Hey! So I know I haven't been online in awhile, but frankly, I still sometimes look from the outside at this thread. Did I see you had an encounter with the devil??!! I know it wasn't exactly that, but i guess that must've been very frightening! Sorry.

Speaking of looking from the outside, @sober4life I heard you had a birthday and the party went well? That's excellent! 

Those were just the few that stood out most to me. But

Wishing everybody good things! ❤️

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The shelves are going bare in my state.  People are acting like it's Black Friday in my state.  Of course trucks are still bringing more for now but it's only a matter of time until that stops as well and we're on our own and have to become survivalists.  I went out to the store and grandma was making fun of me for being like a doomsday prepper.  The "good" thing with my condtion is grandma probably wasn't even really there and if she was I won't remember talking to her anyway.  Yes the party did go well though @anxiousEThank you.

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I've been getting my oil changed at the same place for the last 10 years.  This time I got there and was talking on the phone and 2 guys were talking to each other in front of the car and the one guy glanced at me real quick to see if I was paying attention to what they were saying.  They were talking about me and checking to see if I was paying attention to what they were saying probably.  I'll never go there again.

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