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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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10 hours ago, JD4010 said:

My old calico kitty is in the process of dying. Her kidneys are failing--not an uncommon thing with older cats. I could take her to the vet and get her rehydrated, which would last for a few days, and then I'd have to take her back again. It's $300 a pop to do that though and I'm flat-ass broke. When she gets so she can't do anything (probably tomorrow), I'll take her in and have her put to sleep. 

This isn't news to anyone on here, but LIFE SUCKS. 

I'm really sorry JD. I know how much you love your cats. I had a beloved calico too. She lived till she was 17 and was for the most part very happy 🙂 I didn't let her suffer too much at the end and I'm glad about that. But it was hands down the hardest thing I ever had to do. Very painful. 

She started 'visiting' me last year. I saw her ghostly outline twice. Nice in the day but spooky at night. I hope she visits me by day again when I move. If it brings you comfort I hope yours will come and visit you too. I know that your other cats will comfort you and that they are a blessing to you. 

Sorry for your loss 😞

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I saw my cat as a ghost in the last house for years and I heard mom's dog that passed away bark for months after he died when I came home.  I don't think it was meant as a peaceful thing though.  I think this is hell and something wants to torture me as much as possible like sitting here on the couch hearing mom screaming in pain for months after she was taken out of here.  The idea of everything is used by something out there to make me suffer and be as miserable as possible.

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10 hours ago, JD4010 said:

My old calico kitty is in the process of dying. Her kidneys are failing--not an uncommon thing with older cats. I could take her to the vet and get her rehydrated, which would last for a few days, and then I'd have to take her back again. It's $300 a pop to do that though and I'm flat-ass broke. When she gets so she can't do anything (probably tomorrow), I'll take her in and have her put to sleep. 

It shouldn't be an innocent kitty going through this. It should be the ****ing customer c***s and the unbearable b*****d coworkers instead.

More evidence there's no such thing as justice or benevolent deities.

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I am at the end of my rope! 

I started my new job last week, over a week ago, and ALREADY I am being severely bullied by a more senior team member who is above me in position but who is not my boss. 

I can't even believe this.... that yet again, I am being bullied in yet another job, and within my first few days of work!!!!! 

I did address it with her directly -- what she had done to me that was HIGHLY unethical and WRONG - I mean, just plain WRONG - she usurped my position right off the bat! So I did confront it with her, and I informed my boss of what she had done. 

Then when I had to get on the phone with her to discuss what had happened (our conflict), she approached me with a very punitive, corrective, superior and negative tone!!!!!! I informed my boss of this as well. 

Since I am a channel and a medium, I asked my spirit guides/angels what will happen. They tell me she will be fired by the end of this week - and that there has been a litany of similar incidents with her and that this was the final straw. 

I hope and pray that this information is accurate and true. I will report back here on what happens. 

However, if this continues and if she remains employed there, I will have to leave. I am most upset. 

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2 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

Since I am a channel and a medium, I asked my spirit guides/angels what will happen. They tell me she will be fired by the end of this week - and that there has been a litany of similar incidents with her and that this was the final straw. 

There's still insufficient justice if it merely stops at fired; hope her family line ends very destructively as well.

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Just now, iWantRope said:

There's still insufficient justice if it merely stops at fired; hope her family line ends very destructively as well.

I don't wish ill upon her beyond getting fired..... I just want justice to be served in this situation. And what happened with her so far has been very unjust and makes me already want to leave the company, when I was SO excited by this job offer and opportunity. 

🤬☹️

 

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11 hours ago, JD4010 said:

My old calico kitty is in the process of dying. Her kidneys are failing--not an uncommon thing with older cats. I could take her to the vet and get her rehydrated, which would last for a few days, and then I'd have to take her back again. It's $300 a pop to do that though and I'm flat-ass broke. When she gets so she can't do anything (probably tomorrow), I'll take her in and have her put to sleep. 

This isn't news to anyone on here, but LIFE SUCKS. 

😟

Thanks for being there for her, though. I have known cases where individuals dropped off their dying cats to die in public places. They just didn't want to deal with taking the cat to the vet for a dignified end.

It's always been one of the saddest things in life for me -- that is, when you're dying and no one wants you anymore or to deal with you in any capacity. It's not a good reflection on humanity.

 

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1 hour ago, anon22ae said:

"Welcome to the party, pal!" This was in some movie I don't remember. (Anyone?) But it sure as hell holds true in real life! 😞

I don't want to be here anymore.  Really any way god can take me out I'm ok with at this point.  The sooner the better.

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I don't see cat ghost but every time I see a cardinal right outside my window in plain view I know it's my late grey favorite cat. And if I see 2 cardinals it's both of my little angels. Someone said reds were guardian angels and well this is what it will be. When I see one it will be staring right at me. And I will say hello xXxxx ☺

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13 minutes ago, watalife said:

I don't see cat ghost but every time I see a cardinal right outside my window in plain view I know it's my late grey favorite cat. And if I see 2 cardinals it's both of my little angels. Someone said reds were guardian angels and well this is what it will be. When I see one it will be staring right at me. And I will say hello xXxxx ☺

I have felt that way that mom was trying to communicate with me as birds or butterflies.  I've felt that way with most pets I've had like the spirit of someone that has passed away is in the pets.

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Ugh, having a rough day. I really enjoyed my walk but my buyer hasn't got the ball rolling with solicitors yet and it's worrying me.

I've also been blanked by 2 neighbours today. It reminds me of when I first got here and everyone was ignoring me. It hurts. Moreso because I'm on my own. When you're on your own and the people around you ignore you, you feel like you live in a desert 🏜️

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1 hour ago, ladysmurf said:

why? 😞

Nothing I do makes any difference. At work or on the so-called "self-development"- department. 

I am in the same headsapce I was when I was sixteen. I am 55. I have felt dissatisfied, disappointed and empty all my adult life. There is nothing I want to do. Life is an exercise in futility. 

My life is a waste. I am a waste. Nothing I do changes anything. I want to be dead. I won't last to the end of this year. I hate life. 

 

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22 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Ugh, having a rough day. I really enjoyed my walk but my buyer hasn't got the ball rolling with solicitors yet and it's worrying me.

I've also been blanked by 2 neighbours today. It reminds me of when I first got here and everyone was ignoring me. It hurts. Moreso because I'm on my own. When you're on your own and the people around you ignore you, you feel like you live in a desert 🏜️

I know how you feel.  It's the way everyone always treats me.  Nobody ever offers any type of help.  They make sure I know I'm on my own no matter what.  I see other people friendly with each other but it never happens with me.  Mean looks and nasty comments from everyone if I get anything.  It's so hard to keep going when you know nobody cares what happens to you.

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Ive been on the phone for about a hour so far today and I'm over it already. We need to be free!!!! And you can't get anything done on these dam things. Last night I had to take a Benadryl to calm down and get rid of the electromagnetic stimulation. Lol

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10 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I know how you feel.  It's the way everyone always treats me.  Nobody ever offers any type of help.  They make sure I know I'm on my own no matter what.  I see other people friendly with each other but it never happens with me.  Mean looks and nasty comments from everyone if I get anything.  It's so hard to keep going when you know nobody cares what happens to you.

:hugs:I get a bad rep round here because of all the drama with my mother. She makes me look like the bad guy when she's been abusing me since I was a child. I don't know why people are like that to you sober. You seem lovely to me 🤔

I've just sat down. Think I'm gonna feel pretty down for the rest of the evening. I'm just gonna rest. I don't know if I can muster the energy to play with mini this evening 😔 but it could be worse, I could have the complete paralysis thing going on. I've just got the semi paralysis 😂

Edited by Nightjar
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3 hours ago, Nightjar said:

:hugs:I get a bad rep round here because of all the drama with my mother. She makes me look like the bad guy when she's been abusing me since I was a child. I don't know why people are like that to you sober. You seem lovely to me 🤔

I've just sat down. Think I'm gonna feel pretty down for the rest of the evening. I'm just gonna rest. I don't know if I can muster the energy to play with mini this evening 😔 but it could be worse, I could have the complete paralysis thing going on. I've just got the semi paralysis 😂

I know what you've been through.  It makes me very sad.  I've been through the same thing.  What do we even tell people?  The whole time during a global pandemic my main thought was I have to get out of here because I feel like I'm in so much danger.  What the hell kind of life is this?  I've felt the same way you have the whole year.  I guess the only reason I haven't put this place up for sale is because it's not in sellable condition.

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4 hours ago, samadhiSheol said:

Nothing I do makes any difference. At work or on the so-called "self-development"- department. 

I am in the same headsapce I was when I was sixteen. I am 55. I have felt dissatisfied, disappointed and empty all my adult life. There is nothing I want to do. Life is an exercise in futility. 

My life is a waste. I am a waste. Nothing I do changes anything. I want to be dead. I won't last to the end of this year. I hate life. 

 

you make a difference for me and many others on here...please dont think like that.

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15 hours ago, duck said:

Just woke up. It is midnight.  I was so exhausted I fell asleep.   

Watching The Daily Show.  He is talking about the power issue in Texas. 

Is there really a power issue in Texas? What do air conditioners use to cool the air for 11 months of the year. I’m cynical today, but is it not more that there was an unexpected and severe cold snap, affecting people who don't normally have this weather, whilst the utilities are doing the annual equipment maintenance. The real issue is probably more to do with the media dramatizing things and causing people with anxiety and depression to become even more concerned. Please educate us all not scare us all..... 

going to bed for curfew in case I get arrested for spreading something!

rant complete, how is everyone tonight?

 

 

 

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Life is very repetitive and predictable. And why is it that some of us can never get what we want. No matter what there is always obstacles to mix in with the boring horrible other daily life experiences that are also boring. Did I already say boring. Hello fellow boringers😌 

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1 hour ago, Extremebeginner said:

Is there really a power issue in Texas? What do air conditioners use to cool the air for 11 months of the year. I’m cynical today, but is it not more that there was an unexpected and severe cold snap, affecting people who don't normally have this weather, whilst the utilities are doing the annual equipment maintenance. The real issue is probably more to do with the media dramatizing things and causing people with anxiety and depression to become even more concerned. Please educate us all not scare us all..... 

going to bed for curfew in case I get arrested for spreading something!

rant complete, how is everyone tonight?

 

 

 

What you're saying sounds possible to me.  In a time where everyone appears on video what's the odds of the people in charge of the electric being in Texas right now?  Zero.  It was probably scheduled maintenance ordered from someone on a yacht somewhere.  

Edited by sober4life
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7 hours ago, ladysmurf said:

you make a difference for me and many others on here...please dont think like that.

To be honest I don't see that. A lot of us have been on df for years, fighting the same issues. I am wondering does peer support even help. I don't believe it does help, at least for some of us this is the case. 

I get no solace from the fact thate there are people with similar issues as me. In fact it just underlines the fact thst something is fundamentally wrong with the world. For some of us there is no hope. 

You could argue that the world is making me feel the way I do. Moot. I don't want this world. I have realized there is no place for me here. I am tired with people, fed up and sick of myself. 

I was reading some of my older posts and I realized being on df had made me feel worse. I hate writing this crap.

I will leave DF eventually for good. I am sick of this pointless existence. It isn't helping me. I want out. Of life too. Sooner the better. 

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I am so fed up with life.  Every time I think my life will improve someone close to me wants a favour or they dream up nonsense.  I am sick of my late parents, society, my siblings, etc. etc.   My parents were some of the worst people.   My sisters are so shallow they create nonsense daily.  

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I am trying to get involved in a diabetic study.  There are many pages of reading to do. 

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I attended my support group earlier tonight. It was boring.  I wanted to sleep so badly not sure why.

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