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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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1 hour ago, Extremebeginner said:

Thats me in a nutshell too...... I’m scared almost of what the phone might do to me...... it would be better if it was C4 and when I answered that was it!

You're like me you're so used to bad phone calls or bad things coming in the mail or bad people showing up that's all you expect.  I try not to be paranoid but I notice now telemarketers have found a way to keep the screen black when they call.  Their number doesn't even come up anymore.

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2 hours ago, Nightjar said:

You make a difference to us!!! 

You make us all feel better :hugs:

Sorry you're feeling so crap today and I hope tomorrow is better 🌻Try to be kind to yourself and make yourself as comfortable as you can while you're feeling rough. 

I'm feeling better now.  I went out and I saw a field that had 100s of deer in it.  These days scare me though.  I'm losing it for sure.  I used to drink so much I had to apologize to everyone I know the next day.  Now I'm having sober days like that.  I can't handle the weight of this life on my own but I sure can't ask for help or it will be the last thing I do.  One day it will just all be over.  I know that I'm in the time right before the end where you can still fake it well enough sometimes but you're afraid because you know what's coming.

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Re Valentines Day ...  There is nothing wrong with setting aside a day to celebrate love.  However,  (1) it seems like 'valentines day' is less about love and more about buying stuff;  (2) if you love someone, there is no reason to wait for a specific date on the calendar to show it.  

That may sound simplistic, but it is just my opinion.    Happy 💕  💗  💝 -- regardless of the day.   🙃

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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

You're like me you're so used to bad phone calls or bad things coming in the mail or bad people showing up that's all you expect.  I try not to be paranoid but I notice now telemarketers have found a way to keep the screen black when they call.  Their number doesn't even come up anymore.

Telemarketers don’t bother me anymore, I just hang up, or ask them questions that are retardly funny

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1 hour ago, jkd_sd said:

Re Valentines Day ...  There is nothing wrong with setting aside a day to celebrate love.  However,  (1) it seems like 'valentines day' is less about love and more about buying stuff;  (2) if you love someone, there is no reason to wait for a specific date on the calendar to show it.  

That may sound simplistic, but it is just my opinion.    Happy 💕  💗  💝 -- regardless of the day.   🙃

I feel most days should celebrate love, be it with a partner, family member, friends or a pet. In fact valentines day, given its poor modern misrepresentation is one of the days I avoid doing things with those I value and respect. This year will be no different I will call those I care for and not mention that its the 14th.

i agree with you whole heartedly 

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I'm not going to be miserable over Valentine's Day again.  The happy person is the guy down the road that lives off the grid cut off from people completely.  Nobody's ever seen him and nobody knows his name.  He probably doesn't even know there is a pandemic.  He has the right idea.  In the past it felt like giving up living that way but in reality he is living in paradise.

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I have never really celebrated Valentine’s Day. It’s just another weekend where I stay at home in bed as much as I can the whole morning cos I have no energy to get up. Till someone shouts at me to get my responsibilities done, go out to buy food then come back home to eat n do house chores then go back in bed to be on my phone again to watch my online shows. Sigh. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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Oh, just can't be a**ed today. I think mini lion will have to do this viewing..😸 She helped with the last one so you never know 😅

Have to start with the last minute ridiculousness in a minute. You think people would know by now that realistically houses are immaculate once in a blue moon. It's not an everyday occurrence! 

But, alas, no. We have to keep up the illusion.... 

I've still got this sore throat and it's still freaking me out 😬

Edited by Nightjar
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9 hours ago, sober4life said:

I'm feeling better now.  I went out and I saw a field that had 100s of deer in it.  These days scare me though.  I'm losing it for sure.  I used to drink so much I had to apologize to everyone I know the next day.  Now I'm having sober days like that.  I can't handle the weight of this life on my own but I sure can't ask for help or it will be the last thing I do.  One day it will just all be over.  I know that I'm in the time right before the end where you can still fake it well enough sometimes but you're afraid because you know what's coming.

I think ideally asking for help in real life would be the best thing you could do. But, I hear you, a lot of the time it's not worth the effort because other people can make a difficult situation worse with their meddling. 

Maybe, it's not so easy to find sympathetic folk in your area. It sure sounds that way but there are organisations and regular folk who can and will help you... 

I'm wondering if maybe driving to a city nearby may help you find some sort of therapy. You could be anonymous there and maybe find some group therapy or one to one? Or even some sort of group activity for general chit chat could be good. (When we are again able). 

I say all this and I know how hard it is to reach out and try new things. It can be scary. But I believe you can do it.. 

I need to do it too 😳

 

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10 hours ago, sober4life said:

I know how you feel but you don't really know any of us and you're able to be yourself here.  You do have the ability to talk to people because you do it here.

Yes, but this is different. This is like every day conversation to me.

Somehow it's more difficult when it's on, like, a dating app or something. I think cause it feels more formal and then I get anxious.

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2 hours ago, DialAForAlan said:

Yes, but this is different. This is like every day conversation to me.

Somehow it's more difficult when it's on, like, a dating app or something. I think cause it feels more formal and then I get anxious.

I can't do it that way either.  I just talk to people and try to do it the old fashion way in day to day life.  It would make me angry to pay money for an app just to go down the road of being treated like crap again by everyone.  This is the only place on earth really where people treat me in a reasonable way.  I'm done with people I think and to what @Nightjarhas said I need to realize there is nobody in real life that will help me.  That's what I need to realize I think.  Mom is the last person that will ever be there for me in real life.  I'm on my own from this moment forward.

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4 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Oh, just can't be a**ed today. I think mini lion will have to do this viewing..😸 She helped with the last one so you never know 😅

Have to start with the last minute ridiculousness in a minute. You think people would know by now that realistically houses are immaculate once in a blue moon. It's not an everyday occurrence! 

But, alas, no. We have to keep up the illusion.... 

I've still got this sore throat and it's still freaking me out 😬

You can do this I have faith in you.  I think this is going to be the day you sell the place!

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

You can do this I have faith in you.  I think this is going to be the day you sell the place!

Ha! Hope so. It did go really well today but you never really know 😬 I'm getting better at this selling business. Reckon I could make a living out of it 😂

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18 hours ago, JD4010 said:

To me, Valentine's Day is just another commercial invention to get us to spend $$$ and gin up guilt if one is not keeping up with the hoopla. Then again, I'm an  old curmudgeon.

It's also a day that really rubs it in and sticks it to those unable to have a relationship for whatever reason, be it repulsive appearance, a physical handicap, permanent "inceldom," or whatever. Having relationships is "normal" and expected, as biology would even seem to dictate -- and it seems the vast majority of people eventually succeed on this front. Those who are left out often feel as though they're inferior and abnormal in some fundamental way, which only compounds their pain of loneliness.

I'm too old to be "politically correct" in the most modern sense, but even I can almost appreciate the current liberal disdain with "ableist" language, such as "I see" instead of "I understand" (sightist) and "I hear you" instead "I get you" (audist). As long as ableist terms are frowned upon, we need a term referring to relationships, given all the people unable to have one and suffering for reasons beyond their control. Valentine's Day celebrates something many long for ardently, yet can never have, so it seems like an ultimate ableist holiday to me.

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I don't understand Valentine's Day.  I was at the store today and saw Super Mario Bros Valentine's Day cards.  Someone will get them.  Most people will probably get punched for giving someone that card but somewhere out there is 2 people that will think this is the perfect card.  Somehow I'm supposed to understand this world.

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2 hours ago, DialAForAlan said:

Somehow it's more difficult when it's on, like, a dating app or something. I think cause it feels more formal and then I get anxious.

For most men in the world, it's hard to strike up a conversation with a female they don't know.  Some are naturals at it, but most I think are not.  It makes everyone nervous.  You can say anything that doesn't sound in sane.  Like job interviews, the more you try it, the more relaxed you get at it.  Just try it, take that risk.  I've been turned down up and down the social scale over the years and I'm wonderful.  You can't take it personal, it usually isn't.

Good Luck, Bulgakov

Best, Bulgakov

Edited by Bulgakov
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19 hours ago, Bulgakov said:

🤠Lots of "days" are like that.   Once a friend told me his niece was going to celebrate her quinceanera, a coming out party for 15-year-old Latinas.  His extended family was kind of like the Mafia in that everyone was expected to contribute.  I asked what the occasion was about, where it came from.  "It's about getting you to spend your money," he said.  

but, remember that Valentines always falls only a day before Cheap Candy day.  

Bulgakov

Ahahaha. Cheap Candy Day. My pancreas can hardly wait.

I went to a quinceanera party for a friend's little sister in Tijuana. It stands out as one of the best times I've ever had. It went all night long!

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14 hours ago, sober4life said:

I'm not going to be miserable over Valentine's Day again.  The happy person is the guy down the road that lives off the grid cut off from people completely.  Nobody's ever seen him and nobody knows his name.  He probably doesn't even know there is a pandemic.  He has the right idea.  In the past it felt like giving up living that way but in reality he is living in paradise.

Like Christmas, Valentine's Day gives me nothing but anxiety. "OMG, what am I gonna get for XXXX? I only have one day left! I have to go to Target and buy something!"

Decades of unhappy marriage helped make me this way. I dreaded holidays where I  "had to" buy something for my significant other. For one thing, she would often return it. Yes, that certainly encourages me to try again. 

I blame Edward Bernays for this. He was sort of the godfather of getting people to buy crap that they don't need--and feel guilty about it if they didn't buy.

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Well, I am single so I do not have to spend money for Valentine's Day.  Lucky me.:)

I was freezing in side my home all day.  I suffer from Raynaud's Syndrome and I get these attacks sometimes.  I feel as if my hands and feet are on fire.  Very painful.  I get these attacks in summer too.

HUGS for anyone who needs them.

 

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On 2/13/2021 at 9:32 AM, Nightjar said:

Ha! Hope so. It did go really well today but you never really know 😬 I'm getting better at this selling business. Reckon I could make a living out of it 😂

Wait, are you showing your own house to potential buyers (as well as doing the cleanup every time)? For sale by owner? That is some stress. Good luck -- I hope these people make an offer!

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41 minutes ago, juno_writes said:

Wait, are you showing your own house to potential buyers (as well as doing the cleanup every time)? For sale by owner? That is some stress. Good luck -- I hope these people make an offer!

Yes!! Ha! Thanks. I hope so too 😅🤞

Fed up of the bloody cleaning 😂 The viewings are the good bit 😬🤣😆

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On 2/13/2021 at 10:44 AM, sober4life said:

I don't understand Valentine's Day.  I was at the store today and saw Super Mario Bros Valentine's Day cards.  Someone will get them.  Most people will probably get punched for giving someone that card but somewhere out there is 2 people that will think this is the perfect card.  Somehow I'm supposed to understand this world.

I could see the humour in a SuperMario card, depends on our experience in life I guess. My two ex’s would both have put the final nail in earlier, but most ladies I know would know it was from me...... having said that it would not be my first choice but if all the others were too corny, then hell with it, outright outrageous would be me

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