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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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@sober4life

I know it's hard going it alone sober. But when I think about it, I've always done everything alone so there's nothing new happening here. It's just that now there isn't anyone living in the same house as me so it feels more isolated. Plus, I'm not engaged with anyone/anything in the outside world either so I'm doubly isolated. But would I want the people I lived with living with me again?

Nah. 

I just hope to have more interaction in the outside world when it's possible again. 

I'm glad you're taking the vitamin D 👍

Edited by Nightjar
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2 hours ago, duck said:

Good morning everyone!  I hope all of you have a good day. I am thinking about all of you.  HUGS.  :hugs:

Thanks my friend! I hope you have a good one as well. Same goes for everyone else here.

Edited by JD4010
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On 2/7/2021 at 12:01 PM, RiverLight said:

A silver lining? My husband is now finally moved out and handed over his key to me Friday afternoon. THANK GOD.

This is good news. Things will be sorted out eventually. 
 

Take care!

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I don’t know how I feel.  Chronic (if low-level atm)anxiety. I am so used to it I don’t even notice it half the time. I just feel on edge, all the time. Like I am expecting certain excrement to hit the proverbial air-conditioning(to be PC).

I saw the occupational psychologist today. I said what I planned to say, yet somehow I didn’t, not really. I didn’t tell him exactly how hopeless I see my chances. How hopeless and pointless everything is. How effed up the world is, and there is no place for me here.

In general though, I have been completely occupied and obsessed with hifi equipment. I got my new amp, only to find I need to replace the stylus on my turntable. And for the last couple of days I have been immersing myself in the “intriguing” world of phono cartridge alignment. 
 

I really, really need to get a life. Or a death. Haha.

Edited by samadhiSheol
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5 minutes ago, RiverLight said:

Yes. Now we're dealing with the divorce paperwork. 

I am far from being an expert on the matter, but I am sure things will turn out just fine eventually.  
 

All the best with your new job!

Edited by samadhiSheol
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22 minutes ago, samadhiSheol said:

I am far from being an expert on the matter, but I am sure things will turn out just fine eventually.  
 

All the best with your new job!

Thank you! My divorce is a huge nightmare - all of it. My new job started today and it's been very stressful so far. 

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I have trouble sleeping. Like I feel tired but I barely get any sleep. I have work but I can't get any rest when I get home. Damn. I just get up go to work, come home, eat, shower sleep (if I get any) wake up to do pre-work stuff and analysis, then go back to the office. It's like this every weekday.

Almost everyone goes trough this. I am just thankful I still have a job because I feel bad for people who lost theirs in this pandemic. 

 

Edited by Ixeua
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My back hurts a little after work today but besides that I'm fine.

A cute girl sat next to me today at work during break time and I didn't say a word. I just didn't know what to say.

Does anybody have any advice on how to approach her next time? I've never spoken to her before so I don't know where to start.

I hope everyone is having at least an ok day

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33 minutes ago, Ixeua said:

I have trouble sleeping. Like I feel tired but I barely get any sleep. I have work but I can't get any rest when I get home. Damn. I just get up go to work, come home, eat, shower sleep (if I get any) wake up to do pre-work stuff and analysis, then go back to the office. It's like this every weekday.

Almost everyone goes trough this. I am just thankful I still have a job because I feel bad for people who lost theirs in this pandemic. 

 

Have you tried taking melatonin? It's a natural hormone produced by your body that helps control your sleep wake cycle. They have it as an over the counter medication you can pick up at any cvs, walgreens, rite aide, or similar type store.

I've been using for a while now and seems to work pretty well.

Of course, always do your research before trying any kind of medication, but I think you should look into it.

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On 2/6/2021 at 4:59 AM, duck said:

Good morning to you too.  It is 3 am here.  COLD minus 27 Celsius ( -17 F).  

I am watching sports live from Australia.

 

That's so damn cold! 🥶 Does it normally get that cold where you live? That's insane!

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On 2/6/2021 at 9:05 PM, duck said:

I need a house in a warm place.  I am sick of winter.  

 

18 hours ago, sober4life said:

I feel the same way.  It's taking everything in me to get through this winter.  

The good thing is that you can always escape the cold under some blankets and maybe a fire roaring nearby. Not so great with the heat and humidity of summer in the south and east. The cold seems vastly preferable to me, but that's just me. I would gladly live in Alaska if given the opportunity.

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10 hours ago, idkusername465 said:

That's so damn cold! 🥶 Does it normally get that cold where you live? That's insane!

Yes it does.  We are fortunate this year because it was mild until about two weeks ago.

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We are in the 'deep freeze.'  We will be brutally cold for another ten days. Minus 30 C [-22F].

I am putting the finishing touches on the insurance questionnaire.   Deadline is Saturday but I am hoping to send it in by Wednesday. 

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16 hours ago, RiverLight said:

Thank you! My divorce is a huge nightmare - all of it. My new job started today and it's been very stressful so far. 

Its me, @river light. New jobs are always stressful, so much happening, dont forget to still take a few discreet seconds for yourself, deep breathing technique will get you through a lot and takes 15 seconds whilst you go to the bathroom......

it will be ok, stay calm, composed, and carry on!

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3 minutes ago, Extremebeginner said:

Its me, @river light. New jobs are always stressful, so much happening, dont forget to still take a few discreet seconds for yourself, deep breathing technique will get you through a lot and takes 15 seconds whilst you go to the bathroom......

it will be ok, stay calm, composed, and carry on!

THANK YOU!!! Yes, DEEP BREATHS!!! 

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On 2/7/2021 at 5:01 AM, RiverLight said:

I woke up at 3 AM this morning and couldn't go back to sleep. Granted, I was in bed very early last night, but I am going through peri-menopause and it's making me wake up all night long with night sweats and then I can't get back to sleep. I am beside myself over it because I start work again tomorrow and have NO idea how I will survive when I can't sleep! I was prescribed another anti-depressant that is supposed to help me sleep, but so far it isn't working. 

My divorce is also wearing on me incredibly. I fought with my husband on Friday for 5 hours over text. I had to meet with my new boss the same day on a phone call, and I was a total emotional wreck and wet puddle. The fight with my husband derailed my plans for the entire day. 

A silver lining? My husband is now finally moved out and handed over his key to me Friday afternoon. THANK GOD. It took TWO MONTHS for him to move out, which was sheer TORTURE for me because it forced us to consistently be in touch. And being in touch all the time created many fights between us over the last 2 months. We've basically been fighting for 2 months straight, and I cannot take it anymore. So, thankfully, he is moved out and now there is NO reason for us to communicate anymore except through our lawyers. 

And I am LIVID with him right now because the current divorce agreement reads as though my husband is the one filing for divorce, when that is NOT the case whatsoever. I had asked that we file jointly together, because it's cheapest and fastest. But no, his lawyer drafted an agreement whereby I am the Defendant and he is the Plaintiff. I went ballistic, so now I need to speak with my own lawyer to get this rewritten. I know that my husband did this on purpose because he wants everyone to think that HE filed for divorce and that HE left ME. I left HIM.

So I am completely strung out and worn out from EVERYTHING. I am crying right now. I hate my husband so very much!!!!! He is a most despicable human being, and I cannot believe I married such a dirtbag. 

And how am I going to make it in my new job when I wake up at 4 AM every day??? 

Stress will keep you awake, and you are in a very stressful place right now. I feel for you, but try not to overthink why it is happening, just accept it and try to set a bedtime routine which calms you down, put away the phone, meditate or read.

fighting for five hours is a waste of so much energy. To win or lose at this point is for the lawyers, let them, he is moved out. You must disengage from the drama to keep your sanity. Do not respond to the prompts. Silence is a winning strategy for your own mental health. Your relationship with him is over so don't respond to him.

for the divorce, plaintiff or defendent. The result is important, not so much who filed, unless there is an untrue accusation. You need the result quickly so I suggest go with the quickest solution, so long as it is fair.

strung out, yes, I can see and understand. Protect yourself, try to move on and relax your mind, reduce the anger and resentment and resolve to bring the matter to closure. Your job will be your focus for a while, channel your energy there, to feel better about things that matter going forward.

hugs

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5 hours ago, anon22ae said:

 

The good thing is that you can always escape the cold under some blankets and maybe a fire roaring nearby. Not so great with the heat and humidity of summer in the south and east. The cold seems vastly preferable to me, but that's just me. I would gladly live in Alaska if given the opportunity.

I wouldn't be able to handle winters in Alaska where the sun is hardly ever out.  By the end of the first week I would be gone.  I would have to be.  I can barely make it here.  Sure people are the number one poison and there's less people there but number two right now for me is the cloud cover.  The temperature itself has no effect on me.  It was high of 20s a couple days ago with sun out and I was ok.

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6 minutes ago, Extremebeginner said:

Stress will keep you awake, and you are in a very stressful place right now. I feel for you, but try not to overthink why it is happening, just accept it and try to set a bedtime routine which calms you down, put away the phone, meditate or read.

fighting for five hours is a waste of so much energy. To win or lose at this point is for the lawyers, let them, he is moved out. You must disengage from the drama to keep your sanity. Do not respond to the prompts. Silence is a winning strategy for your own mental health. Your relationship with him is over so don't respond to him.

for the divorce, plaintiff or defendent. The result is important, not so much who filed, unless there is an untrue accusation. You need the result quickly so I suggest go with the quickest solution, so long as it is fair.

strung out, yes, I can see and understand. Protect yourself, try to move on and relax your mind, reduce the anger and resentment and resolve to bring the matter to closure. Your job will be your focus for a while, channel your energy there, to feel better about things that matter going forward.

hugs

Thank you! I have legitimate early menopause symptoms and that's why I cannot sleep. It's not due to stress. 

I am working on negotiating how the divorce agreement is written - I had proposed to my husband that we file for divorce jointly. It's cheapest and fastest this way in the state where we live.

As the agreement is written now, it appears as though my husband is the one filing for divorce, although this was never communicated to me. And it DOES matter because I am divorcing HIM - I left HIM,  not the other way around. He just wants to be able to say to everyone that HE left ME and that HE divorced ME. That is NOT going to fly for me... unless he truly did file for divorce, then I have no say in the language on the paperwork. 

I will definitely focus on my job because I have to succeed. I will limit all communication with my husband because he is moved out now and it's now all between our lawyers. It IS stressful and emotional though. Divorce is VERY VERY DIFFICULT, TUMULTUOUS, LIFE CHANGING AND UPSETTING. There is no way around that fact. 

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