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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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I’m tired of people. I’m just so bad at socialising. I thought I should force myself to make me get used to it. But I don’t really. I learn some social skills I guess, I “network” with people I guess. Because someone said networking is important cos we don’t know when we might need something from someone. But I worry way too much. I worry I’m not sincere among many other things. And I’m tired of worrying. That’s why I’m tired of people, tired that life of humans is made this way, tired that I don’t enjoy what I do, tired of living in general. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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4 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said:

I’m tired of people. I’m just so bad at socialising. I thought I should force myself to make me get used to it. But I don’t really. I learn some social skills I guess, I “network” with people I guess. Because someone said networking is important cos we don’t know when we might need something from someone. But I worry way too much. I worry I’m not sincere among many other things. And I’m tired of worrying. That’s why I’m tired of people, tired that life of humans is made this way, tired that I don’t enjoy what I do, tired of living in general. 

I know what you mean. I feel that way too sometimes at work. But especially my brother struggles with this the most. 
You’re being insincere! You’re taking the right steps but taking yourself out of your comfort zone and putting yourself out there. It feels so shitty at first but you’ll get comfortable with time and practice 🙂 

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I am stressed!  Today I tried to get a refill for my depression/anxiety meds but the pharmacy told me I only have a few days supply on file.  I thought I had three month supply on file.  This system is making me more stressed.  First of all the doctors are clueless when it comes to writing prescriptions.  Second, the pharmacy interpret what the doctor wrote in many different ways.  This then leads to confusion.  In the past the bottles use to have how many repeats left but for some reason mine does not have it. I try to buy three month supply because it is cheaper.  Dispensing fees are way too high to be buying medications every thirty days.  Doctors are too ignorant and arrogant to understand this.  I have asked doctors many times to write three months on my prescription but they never do so I end up paying extra.  I explained my situation in detail to a pharmacist and he will contact my previous psychiatrist.  My family doctors is useless. Doctors need to get their act together and make sure patients have enough meds.  Some doctors do not prescribe meds.  What type of system is this?  This is difficult to explain here.  Some of you may ask why I did not read the prescription carefully?  Well I did but the pharmacy interrupts the prescription differently from what is written.  I heard Israel have a better system.  I have been on the same meds for many years so the pharmacist should be able to give me my meds.

Edited by duck
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10 hours ago, watalife said:

Earlier I felt like a walking embarassment. 

I know how this feels. I don't always have this feeling, but when I do, I feel like a monster, not fit to be seen by other humans. 

BUT it's not true. We're not monsters and we deserve all the love and caring that everyone else does. 

Hope you feel better today :hugs:

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Not freaking out too much today. I had a decent amount of sleep thank god. That was probably half my problem yesterday. I've got enough to be getting on with today but not too much. If I manage to get some exercise in, it'll be a good day I think 🤔

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3 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Me too 🤩

+1. Living somewhere remote without the need to deal with this world is sort of the "best" that can happen at this point. Even if it's only a little time at the end.

 

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1 hour ago, anon22ae said:

+1. Living somewhere remote without the need to deal with this world is sort of the "best" that can happen at this point. Even if it's only a little time at the end.

 

Yeah and I don't think it's just my perception either.  People have been much worse.  They're unbearable every single time I'm around them.  They have zero empathy or concern for what they're putting others through at this point.

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I need Jane.

The first season of WL finished on Monday and I don't know when I'll see her again cause nobody has said anything about when we're getting the second season yet.

...and before anyone asks, no, I've not seen Monday's episode - and I probably won't for awhile cause I'm not ready. The very thought of it hurts just as much, if not more, than being away from her cause it's so final, if that makes sense?

Edited by DialAForAlan
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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

I've never needed a weekend of rest more in my life.  I've been ******* myself for this life.  I have to force myself to rest and heal some injuries.

It is possible to force yourself to rest. I've done it. No matter what your mind says, just stay put, sit still. You should then feel your stress start to ease and your mind start to calm down 👍

Have you ever tried deep breathing? That can really help. Breathing in from your belly, watch the breath travel up to your chest, breathing out, feeling the breath woosh slowly from your body, taking tension with it 👍

Edited by Nightjar
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Adrenaline is pumping now, night before next viewing. I'm pretty much ready. I'm just gonna do another half hour tonight and then try to rest up as much as possible. 

I wouldn't mind the adrenaline if I was being chased by a tiger but I'm not, I'm just cleaning an it's a pain in the azz 😣

I feel like I'm ready for bed and it's only 6:30 pm 😬 The adrenaline is really knocking me out. 

 

Edited by Nightjar
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21 hours ago, Rach4masaya said:

I am the oldest in my family.  My dad had a bad temper, and my sister did too.  You could always see it coming.  I was the pleaser.  They said just give her what she wants.  She is a bully and her kids are a mini her.  I was raised on a ranch and learned to just keep it to myself what I was feeling.  If I ever voiced frustration then I was told, “I was fine” or “it will get better”.  The bullies seem to get rewarded for their lack of caring.  It’s funny because all the “do good to others and they will do good to you” just clearly doesn’t apply.  Life makes no sense.  

Yep. Bullies often get their way and become rich & powerful.

I grew up on a ranch too. 

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I've spent three days lying in bed for most of the time because I really can't even think to get up and I have to go to work tomorrow.  I have to wash my hair and iron some clothes and cannot bring myself to do anything.  The days have just passed and merged into a non-time sort of place.  

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2 hours ago, Starfishmomma said:

I've spent three days lying in bed for most of the time because I really can't even think to get up and I have to go to work tomorrow.  I have to wash my hair and iron some clothes and cannot bring myself to do anything.  The days have just passed and merged into a non-time sort of place.  

Hi. It sounds like things are really hard right now. When I'm feeling that way, it can help to literally talk myself through each step. (Saying it out loud helps with focus, I guess.) I hope that whatever you're able to do builds some momentum.

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A bit like baby steps 🙂  I had managed to have a shower on Tuesday but I was the same since Saturday.  I had hoped the shower would have helped but I slumped again for the past three days.  I'll have to make a super duper effort in the morning.

 

Edited by Starfishmomma
mistake
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9 hours ago, sober4life said:

I'm getting to the paranoid point of the day.  Even this smiley 🙂 it's kind of smiling but it's a I'm trying to trick you and I'm really up to something smile.:unsure:

:hugs:I hope this hug looks good. 

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8 hours ago, watalife said:

Ready for a new job. I've got burn out real bad and it's only 3 months. I dont want to work at all or very little. I can't say what I really want. 😭

Sorry to hear. I've been skint for 10 years but unless I really like a job I think I'll stay skint and work part time 🤔

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3 hours to my next viewing. Adrenaline is cranking up again. Appetite is gone. I'll be starting on final prep in 10 minutes 😳 I was hoping that I would enjoy this process but I don't. I feel like I'm doing a skydive every week 😬 and I've lost 5 pounds. I don't mind the weight loss though 😁

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1 hour ago, APFSDS said:

This morning was nice and cold, and I went to make a few photos in the park. Started well, hope this day will continue nicely.
So I'm feeling pretty OK.

Good morning to you too.  It is 3 am here.  COLD minus 27 Celsius ( -17 F).  

I am watching sports live from Australia.

 

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