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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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2 hours ago, duck said:

I am fed up with life.  Too many toxic people to deal with.  I just had breakfast at 6 pm my time because my sisters were in the kitchen and bathroom all day.  My medication schedule is ruined because I could not take them in the morning.  This is BS. 

I have this form from insurance to fill which is a pain in the butt.  I am thinking of giving up. I am tired of fighting with lazy doctors and therapists.  Only in Canada.

Hi Duck. Big hug. Take a deep breath. You can get through this. 

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12 hours ago, Extremebeginner said:

Coffee in the mornings....

Coke removed from diet, completely, go cold turkey on that one, you will feel better, believe me.

the move will happen, good or bad, but you will move, try not to be too concerned or anxious.... do you have help, movers? Give them all your coke.

how was your exercise today, what did you do?

sleep well

Thanks extrembeginner. I will ponder on your suggestions. But I'm not giving the movers my coke 😆 Ha! 

I didn't fit any exercise in yesterday, I was very tired but I got two sessions of meditation in and slept for 12 hours!! Amazing. I'm sure I needed it. 

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Not too bad today. I think I'm slowly getting over the shock of putting my house on the market. I'm enjoying some aspects of it which is a plus and I think I've calmed down a little bit.

I'm not sure it's possible to not stress about it. When the phone bleeps, I'm ready to charge into action and frantically clean everything. I'm always gonna have that adrenaline rush when I know people are on their way too. 

Trying my best with the slow and steady game..... Regularly cleaning rather than leaving it all to the last minute and trying to rest too. It's so important lest I burn out. Last night I got a lot of much needed sleep as I said above which is a bonus. 

Slowly, slowly, catchy monkey 🐒

Edited by Nightjar
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It's very hard.  The worst moment of my life was the moment I said I don't have any grandparents anymore.  It's been very painful.  Essentially losing 3 grandparents in 4 years one not officially my grandma but she became like a grandma to me.  She reached out to me when everyone else had given up on me and she saved me for sure.  I wouldn't be here without her. 

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Is it just me or is life really really boring?

I guess I should go buy something or eat something? No wonder the cat wants out of here. If he gets too far away next time and doesn't come back I don't care. Ive done everything I could do so I dont blame him. But if he gets hurt it's his fault. 

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1 hour ago, watalife said:

Is it just me or is life really really boring?

I guess I should go buy something or eat something? No wonder the cat wants out of here. If he gets too far away next time and doesn't come back I don't care. Ive done everything I could do so I dont blame him. But if he gets hurt it's his fault. 

Well yes spending sprees and food binges have been my winter I think.  I don't even enjoy any of that anymore.

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17 hours ago, sober4life said:

I think I've had the virus myself but I will never know for sure.  I have zero trust in people and more than 10 months into this what has really changed?  The words proven effective or FDA approved mean nothing to me.  I've heard those words with all the other poisons they've given me.  I don't think they have any idea what they're doing at all.  They're just doing this or that putting in time waiting for it to go away on it's own and then they'll take all the credit for it.

Ditto. Now they are pushing that everyone should be wearing two (or even 3!) masks to be more effective. At this point, I think they are just yanking our chains to see how far they can go. Soon they will say that you need to walk everywhere on your hands rather than your feet. And by golly, people will do it.

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14 hours ago, duck said:

I am fed up with life.  Too many toxic people to deal with.  I just had breakfast at 6 pm my time because my sisters were in the kitchen and bathroom all day.  My medication schedule is ruined because I could not take them in the morning.  This is BS. 

I have this form from insurance to fill which is a pain in the butt.  I am thinking of giving up. I am tired of fighting with lazy doctors and therapists.  Only in Canada.

It ain't just Canada, believe me.

I'm glad I live alone w/o other humans. Cats are fine because they have pure souls. Humans, on the other hand, have severe brain wiring issues.

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1 minute ago, JD4010 said:

Ditto. Now they are pushing that everyone should be wearing two (or even 3!) masks to be more effective. At this point, I think they are just yanking our chains to see how far they can go. Soon they will say that you need to walk everywhere on your hands rather than your feet. And by golly, people will do it.

They keep telling us to do more and more because it has to be our faults.  We're not doing enough.  Otherwise they have to look in the mirror and take blame for doing a bad job with the virus which won't happen ever.

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10 hours ago, iWantRope said:

All right, entire world, you have f---ed me well & thoroughly

Had enough yet? Can pause it for even half a second??

You were affixed at birth with the "KICK ME" sign on your back by the universe too? 

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19 hours ago, iWantRope said:

Curious; how would you define 'alone'? Because it's more than just not having anyone to talk to (and even that ain't true when you have the DF community)

Alone means abandoned, left for dead. Having no one to help you. 

I think alone has a different meaning for everyone...for me it truly means alone, that no one gets me, that I have no one I can talk to who will be able to understand what I am dealing with and try to understand my life, etc..

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16 hours ago, duck said:

I am fed up with life.  Too many toxic people to deal with.  I just had breakfast at 6 pm my time because my sisters were in the kitchen and bathroom all day.  My medication schedule is ruined because I could not take them in the morning.  This is BS. 

I have this form from insurance to fill which is a pain in the butt.  I am thinking of giving up. I am tired of fighting with lazy doctors and therapists.  Only in Canada.

Hang in there buddy!! Yeah trust me all doctors and therapists all over the world can be lazy, and it's not only in Canada. I wonder sometimes if they forget about the Oath they gave when they became doctors, which was to truly help the patient...  Then again insurance companies play a big role too in certain doctors having to not follow the oath and they put money first,  because insurance companies they are money hungry!! They will find many ways to fight a patient, a doctor for medications, co-pays are out of control, and continue to increase every year,  people are terrified because if they don't have insurance they aren't covered, yet you hear about people who go bankrupt because if they get sick the insurance companies only pays a certain percentage for treatments. It's a mess duck...hang in there...

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This is my first time posting.  I am feeling nervous to share.  I have struggled with depression for 17 years.  So for more than half of my life.  I have treatment resistant depression.  I tried for Spravato, but got denied three times.  Gave up on that and tried TMS when it came out.  I felt a little better, but so tired from the stimulation to my brain.  I would get back in the morning after getting it done and feel like I needed to lay back down again.  Then when I stopped I felt bad again.  I never felt remarkably different while on TMS.  I tried so many different medications.  They decided to try Latuda this last time since all the antidepressants didn’t work.  I have depression and anxiety.  The latuda was giving me chest pains and I felt so out of breath,  it to mention tired too.  Now I am back to the drawing board.  I am trying amino acids, fish oils and a lot of vitamins.  I am sleeping now, but still waking up at four thirty and toss and turn for hours to get back to sleep.  Someone posted about the frustration of trying to explain your depression to others.  I just tried it again last night.  People seem to think if you would just push through it you will be okay.  It gets to a point you just don’t want to tell anyone how your feeling because unless they have experienced it they cannot relate.  Thanks for this forum to share with others who face similar challenges with mental health.

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1 minute ago, Rach4masaya said:

This is my first time posting.  I am feeling nervous to share.  I have struggled with depression for 17 years.  So for more than half of my life.  I have treatment resistant depression.  I tried for Spravato, but got denied three times.  Gave up on that and tried TMS when it came out.  I felt a little better, but so tired from the stimulation to my brain.  I would get back in the morning after getting it done and feel like I needed to lay back down again.  Then when I stopped I felt bad again.  I never felt remarkably different while on TMS.  I tried so many different medications.  They decided to try Latuda this last time since all the antidepressants didn’t work.  I have depression and anxiety.  The latuda was giving me chest pains and I felt so out of breath,  it to mention tired too.  Now I am back to the drawing board.  I am trying amino acids, fish oils and a lot of vitamins.  I am sleeping now, but still waking up at four thirty and toss and turn for hours to get back to sleep.  Someone posted about the frustration of trying to explain your depression to others.  I just tried it again last night.  People seem to think if you would just push through it you will be okay.  It gets to a point you just don’t want to tell anyone how your feeling because unless they have experienced it they cannot relate.  Thanks for this forum to share with others who face similar challenges with mental health.

Welcome to our forums!

We have a lovely supportive community here which always does it's utmost to help it's members :hugs:

Nightjar 

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Welcome as well from me. We suffer from this illness, which by many isn't considered real. Let me reassure you that its real, yet poorly understood, with this forum you have a place to talk about it, where people will not judge you, but listen to you.

Read and write on these discussions as you feel able to. You will likely gain a better understanding of your own illness, ways to try to cope and maybe improve how you feel.

 

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5 hours ago, watalife said:

Is it just me or is life really really boring?

I guess I should go buy something or eat something? No wonder the cat wants out of here. If he gets too far away next time and doesn't come back I don't care. Ive done everything I could do so I dont blame him. But if he gets hurt it's his fault. 

My life seems to be, and this lockdown and vaccinations not available to most of us in Canada for a long time yet, isn't helping. I am anxious about everything, which feeds the depression and feelings of uselessness.

my cats dont go far from home at 10 F

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Another beautiful day.  Snowing all day.  Minus 15 Celsius ( 3 Fahrenheit ) 🙂

I hope I made some of you smile.  

---------------------------------------------------------

Anyone want to share exercise tips?  I need more physical activity.  Thanks.

Edited by duck
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