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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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12 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Of course, they probably jacked up the price of the other three. 🙂 Haha. Aren't we a bunch of cynics?

They can have these types of sales because when they give us the bill they seem to be able to add in whatever they want as far as labor.  For some reason this part doesn't have to be advertised.  The final bill when it's over can be whatever they want it to be and after it's over what are we going to do about it?

Edited by sober4life
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13 hours ago, anon22ae said:

Same with me... and the Sunday night before the first Monday morning of the new year is the worst of all. My own failures and shortcomings may be due to limitations beyond my control, but this doesn't change the fact that it's all too easy to be kicked out onto the street with nothing.

I'm hanging by a thread. I often imagine what it would be like to be homeless at my age. 

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1 hour ago, JD4010 said:

I'm hanging by a thread. I often imagine what it would be like to be homeless at my age. 

Oh man!  That's  not good!  HUGS :hugs:

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I'm doing better than I was.  I thought it was about over I'll be honest.  It's scary what someone like me says is a good day.  You know I think I only saw a couple of things that weren't real today including seeing someone that isn't even alive anymore but I had a better day because I believe most of what I saw was real today.😃Of course it's a miracle I've made it this far.

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1 hour ago, sober4life said:

I'm doing better than I was.  I thought it was about over I'll be honest.  It's scary what someone like me says is a good day.  You know I think I only saw a couple of things that weren't real today including seeing someone that isn't even alive anymore but I had a better day because I believe most of what I saw was real today.😃Of course it's a miracle I've made it this far.

Distinguishing between what's real and what's not is even more difficult these days.

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Whenever someone needs me, they'll do nice things for me, whenever it's in their interests and their interests only. The second they don't need me anymore, they'll quickly go back to letting me know, by their actions, that they don't want to ever have contact with me, no matter how nice I am to them.

A lot of lies are said behind my back, all the time to everybody, about my relationship status, my unemployment reasons, my overall well-being, anything you could imagine.

They all say things about me behind my back, but not one of them wants to say it to me directly. If I can speak to them, why can't they do the same thing that I do?

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12 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I'm hanging by a thread. I often imagine what it would be like to be homeless at my age. 

Yup.  I have definitely thought about it.  Even when I was doing well (relatively speaking), I still felt insecure about ending up living out of my car.  Now I feel like it is looming just ahead of me.  <*sigh*>  

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14 hours ago, sober4life said:

I'm doing better than I was.  I thought it was about over I'll be honest.  It's scary what someone like me says is a good day.  You know I think I only saw a couple of things that weren't real today including seeing someone that isn't even alive anymore but I had a better day because I believe most of what I saw was real today.😃Of course it's a miracle I've made it this far.

Hey sober, I've seen things and heard things which weren't there. I've had many, many bizarre experiences and a lot of the time I feel like I live in a David Lynch movie. But I'm good with that, I feel it makes life more interesting 🤔

I think it's fine as long as you are not afraid of it. :hugs:And I'm glad you are feeling better 🥰

I've seen the ghost of my old cat a couple of times. I'm fine with it in the day but it creeps me out a bit at night 😬 I've also had things move around me of their own accord in a poltergeist kinda way. Sometimes that has freaked me right out but I got over it I guess. My cats usually calm me down if this happens. The more wound up I get the more these things happen so it's best for all concerned that I remain calm 😁😅😘

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Well, mini lion's sickness seems better with the new food so far 👍 She has been sick once since we started it but we were at the point where she was being sick every day so hopefully things are looking better 🤞

I have a plan of action to get myself out of the house today, I'm mostly on top of things at the house and I'm letting myself drink coke at the moment. It's my antidepressant of choice.... 

So, so far today, things are looking pretty good. I'm getting myself together to get the hell outta the house, get some coke and get some fresh air 👍 

Just hope the covid police leave me alone 😬 I just wanna go for a walk, hope it's ok 🤞

 

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

Hey sober, I've seen things and heard things which weren't there. I've had many, many bizarre experiences and a lot of the time I feel like I live in a David Lynch movie. But I'm good with that, I feel it makes life more interesting 🤔

I think it's fine as long as you are not afraid of it. :hugs:And I'm glad you are feeling better 🥰

I've seen the ghost of my old cat a couple of times. I'm fine with it in the day but it creeps me out a bit at night 😬 I've also had things move around me of their own accord in a poltergeist kinda way. Sometimes that has freaked me right out but I got over it I guess. My cats usually calm me down if this happens. The more wound up I get the more these things happen so it's best for all concerned that I remain calm 😁😅😘

I'm not afraid of it.  It's both not as good as people might think and also not as bad as people might think.  Nobody really dies in your world.  That's a gift right.  Well yes sometimes but sometimes your mind uses it to torture you.  The one thing that I want people to hear from me if they heard nothing else from me.  If this was my last post I want people to know that I a person completely unmedicated have survived on my own for almost 3 years with schizophrenia.  That is the one thing they don't want people to know that this is possible.  I'm expected to spend the overall majority of my life in a facility.  It doesn't have to be that way and it will never be that way again.

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19 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I'm hanging by a thread. I often imagine what it would be like to be homeless at my age. 

I wish I could get in on one of the "tiny houses" they have for the homeless around here. The problem is that I would need to be homeless first, though it's not much of a stretch to imagine this.

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52 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I a person completely unmedicated have survived on my own for almost 3 years with schizophrenia.  That is the one thing they don't want people to know that this is possible.

I know it's possible. I'm not diagnosed with schizophrenia, I'm just a wierdo 😂 I bet they'd throw a few diagnoses at me if they could. But they won't get their hands on me again. Antidepressants put me in hospital. I haven't been in,  before or since. They made me very ill. These days, I'm very wary of medication and I have my own ideas about' illness'. 

We're just human. That's it. We all suffer, get paranoid and have wierd experiences. We all get anxious and depressed. We don't need a lifelong label. 

Love you sober. You are strong, brave and lovely. Stay strong. Stay good and I hope your dreams come true in 2021 ❤️

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2 hours ago, sober4life said:

I'm not afraid of it.  It's both not as good as people might think and also not as bad as people might think.  Nobody really dies in your world.  That's a gift right.  Well yes sometimes but sometimes your mind uses it to torture you.  The one thing that I want people to hear from me if they heard nothing else from me.  If this was my last post I want people to know that I a person completely unmedicated have survived on my own for almost 3 years with schizophrenia.  That is the one thing they don't want people to know that this is possible.  I'm expected to spend the overall majority of my life in a facility.  It doesn't have to be that way and it will never be that way again.

Good for you, I’m sure the road was long getting there but very much worth it! 😊

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

I know it's possible. I'm not diagnosed with schizophrenia, I'm just a wierdo 😂 I bet they'd throw a few diagnoses at me if they could. But they won't get their hands on me again. Antidepressants put me in hospital. I haven't been in,  before or since. They made me very ill. These days, I'm very wary of medication and I have my own ideas about' illness'. 

We're just human. That's it. We all suffer, get paranoid and have wierd experiences. We all get anxious and depressed. We don't need a lifelong label. 

Love you sober. You are strong, brave and lovely. Stay strong. Stay good and I hope your dreams come true in 2021 ❤️

I’m a weirdo too Nightjar 🤗

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1 hour ago, Nightjar said:

I know it's possible. I'm not diagnosed with schizophrenia, I'm just a wierdo 😂 I bet they'd throw a few diagnoses at me if they could. But they won't get their hands on me again. Antidepressants put me in hospital. I haven't been in,  before or since. They made me very ill. These days, I'm very wary of medication and I have my own ideas about' illness'. 

We're just human. That's it. We all suffer, get paranoid and have wierd experiences. We all get anxious and depressed. We don't need a lifelong label. 

Love you sober. You are strong, brave and lovely. Stay strong. Stay good and I hope your dreams come true in 2021 ❤️

This post sums up exactly how I feel.  I would have been better off if I never was diagnosed with anything.  I'm proving I can make it and so are you.  I'm proud of you and I'm proud of everyone here!  I hope your dreams come true as well and I would do anything in my power to make sure they do.:hugs:

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sorry everyone i have not been feeling good lately, but i just wanted to say (even though I'm late a few days..) that  I hope 2021 is better than last year, and we can continue to help each other and support each other through this difficult illness..

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Hopeless and destitute. 

Humanity sucks. 

I see nothing good about humanity. The little good here and there is outweighed by the self-centeredness, selfishness and entitlement with which we callously destroy the environment and each other. Both on an individual and collective level. 

I truly think humanity should destroy itself. We suck and there is nothing to do about it. It's the way we are wired.

Nature's grand fck up. 

Edited by samadhiSheol
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1 hour ago, samadhiSheol said:

The little good here and there is outweighed by the self-centeredness, selfishness and entitlement with which we callously destroy the environment and each other.

I cannot say that I actually disagree with you.  However, being supportive and even goofy is my attempt to contribute to the positive side of things.  

Is my feeble attempt going to cure cancer or regrow the destroyed rain forrest?  No!  But it is what I can offer at the moment.  

No way do I claim to have any answers.  I respect your feelings and choose to (at the moment) 'whistle in the dark' while I can manage to.  Peace to you.  

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8 hours ago, anon22ae said:

I wish I could get in on one of the "tiny houses" they have for the homeless around here. The problem is that I would need to be homeless first, though it's not much of a stretch to imagine this.

I looked into that and discovered they ain't cheap. The tiny house itself might be more affordable than a "full size" version, but you still need property to plop it down upon and then the various utilities have to be brought in. 

The only way I could potentially make it is to buy an old RV and live out of it. The thing would have to be drivable so I could move it before the city or county inspection people would ticket me. 

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4 hours ago, jkd_sd said:

Me too!  Me too!  😆 🥰 🤪

('Normal' is boring.  😶)

Add me to the list of weirdos. I don't like being around "normies" very much.

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3 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I looked into that and discovered they ain't cheap. The tiny house itself might be more affordable than a "full size" version, but you still need property to plop it down upon and then the various utilities have to be brought in. 

The only way I could potentially make it is to buy an old RV and live out of it. The thing would have to be drivable so I could move it before the city or county inspection people would ticket me. 

An RV is great in principle; it's just that my area is full of them and they have a poor reputation. You can't really stay anywhere without the locals and police throwing sour looks your way.

It's funny how most RVs here are of "that" type, but there are also the occasional luxury ones owned by the rich and used for actual recreation. Somehow the locals and police are able to tell the difference instantly. These seem to have no trouble "coexisting."

Sadly, land and home pricing even in remote areas in my state seems to be getting out of hand. Another effect of COVID, apparently, as people work from home. I wonder what remote parts of the US are still affordable. (North and west are better than south and east in my case.)

 

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