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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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3 hours ago, Nightjar said:

My mind tells me the same. But was I happy when I had 'love' and 'friends'? 

Nope. None of that was lasting. 

Actually there is someone I love right now and as usual It doesn't matter whatsoever.  I know what you're saying.  I've figured out the hard way that all the best things in the world are about 5% good and 95% punch full tilt in the face.  Everything that really affects our brains the most seems to be that way.  It's much like life.  At every turn we're given just enough good things to consider doing this another day.  I was thinking if this was really hell would I see turkeys and deer out my window?  Of course the giving me just enough to keep going but mostly suffering is exactly hell.

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11 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I then called up the other store of the same name that's about 10 miles from my place. Fortunately, they could get me in. I was only there for 90 minutes...not bad. HOWEVER, the tire had received a NEW puncture. Yes, the very same tire got punctured twice in one week. This time, I had to replace the tire. $90 later and I'm on the road again.

This, my friends, is the kind of "luck" I have. All of the time.

Usually it's the same with me... except one place had a tire special the other day. But 3 tires, get the 4th one for $1! But it's not so great, because I only needed 3 tires... /s

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Yikes. I'm struggling today. It's very cold, I'm withdrawing from caffeine, worrying about money, mini lion and family problems. I lose track of how much time I spend alone these days too so there's that. And I have no energy. 

It's not like me to moan so it must be bad 😬 I'm frustrated that I can't get things to the charity shop. Everything is closed again here. Whinge. More whinge and whinge 😬sorry guys. 

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I’m sorry to everyone struggling this morning.  💙 Trying to have a good day, but it’s still too early to tell.  I sometimes feel like we get a blank slate when we wake up, with potential to feel good, but then, like usual, the dark cloud moves in. 

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So 2021 is already starting out to be a horrible year simply because of my past... Mainly thanks to someone here at work who just so happens to know Natalie... Yesterday they decided to come up to me and mention her... I guess they put the links together and magically now know everything that went on between us... Instantly fell into a bad mood, stepped out into my car and cried... Why can’t I just let the past stay behind me... It’s frustrating!!!! I guess I’ll be looking for another job and actually try to move away... I’m so tired of Natalie always seemingly coming back to haunt me... Even indirectly...

I can’t talk about it to my parents... I really can’t talk about it to anyone. I’m really in a bad situation because now if everyone knows about what all went on then it’s just going to swallow me up like a black hole. They even went so far as to ask my friend Ryan about it all... I’ve barely slept, have been going to my car during breaks to avoid everyone... I feel sick because of my past once again destroying my life...

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I don't know how I feel, just that I feel a lot of things all at once and it's really overwhelming to the point where all I want to do is stay in bed and/or sleep just so I don't have to feel them. And yes, I know I can't and shouldn't hide away forever but I'm honestly not sure what else to do. 

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9 hours ago, sober4life said:

I busted my lip this morning working which is good because it means I'll have to avoid people because I sure can't tell them how it happened.:unsure:

Just tell them how the other guy is looking! They will avoid you

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1 hour ago, Extremebeginner said:

Simply very anxious, with no evident trigger, throw that on top of the depression which is back with aggression and recovering from a mild bout of Covid, but struggling with the long term effects. 
 

I hope you feel better 

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14 hours ago, anon22ae said:

Usually it's the same with me... except one place had a tire special the other day. But 3 tires, get the 4th one for $1! But it's not so great, because I only needed 3 tires... /s

Of course, they probably jacked up the price of the other three. 🙂 Haha. Aren't we a bunch of cynics?

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18 minutes ago, sober4life said:

Luckily I don't have any teeth to worry about.😃

You and me both. Mine are in the process of falling out. They have always sucked. I wish I hadn't spent so much money repairing them over the years...they busted off and fell out anyway.

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Sunday night is the worst time of the week for me. The dread of Monday morning comes crashing down like an avalanche on top of me. I've tried to think of ways to adopt a more "positive" attitude about work but it ain't happening. I come face to face with my failures and shortcomings every minute of every day at work.

Edited by JD4010
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2 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Sunday night is the worst time of the week for me. The dread of Monday morning comes crashing down like an avalanche on top of me. I've tried to think of ways to adopt a more "positive" attitude about work but it ain't happening. I come face to face with my failures and shortcomings every minute of every day at work.

Same with me... and the Sunday night before the first Monday morning of the new year is the worst of all. My own failures and shortcomings may be due to limitations beyond my control, but this doesn't change the fact that it's all too easy to be kicked out onto the street with nothing.

Edited by anon22ae
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2 hours ago, JD4010 said:

Of course, they probably jacked up the price of the other three. 🙂 Haha. Aren't we a bunch of cynics?

Yep, it's sort of like "Normally they're 30 cents each, but for you they're two for a buck." Or even "It's free if you pay."

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1 hour ago, cherryapplez2020 said:

Thanks I took something for it it helped my head a little but not my back

Did you physically hurt your back? Im guessing you cant get a massage right. Ow, so why not take a bath or hot shower? Helps the head too....

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9 minutes ago, Extremebeginner said:

Did you physically hurt your back? Im guessing you cant get a massage right. Ow, so why not take a bath or hot shower? Helps the head too....

No I didn’t hurt it

showers don’t help in fact there very difficult and I don’t think I could get out of a bath

Message sounds good but I would have to pay for it and I don’t think it’s a good idea with covid and all that crap

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On 1/2/2021 at 2:17 PM, sober4life said:

To sum up it up my mind has been torturing me with things that happened to me as a child since Christmas Eve.

:hugs:

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I don't know whether it's all the pain and anxiety I felt last year trying to escape or what but it feels like I have a heavy iron weight on my body and I'm trying not to cry.  I know evetyome went through a lot last year and I'm not alone, but idk, everything just hurts so much. 

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