JD4010 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 The universe has affixed yet another giant "KICK ME" sign to my back. I'm starting to think that Hell would be a move up compared to where I am now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Hade a freak out and today lost very important paperwork But am fine know 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 ...and, now my daughter has to put her new little kitty down because of some kind of peritonitis that's not curable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 I thought I would feel better this month. I don't really have months where I feel better anymore. I feel the same all year. I'm able to do just enough to get through another day and quality of life is garbage. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Depressedgurl007 Posted March 5, 2020 Share Posted March 5, 2020 Useless, worthless, pathetic..what’s wrong with me..i thought things can change i can improve but then it always goes back and i don’t even know why i still try 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 On 3/4/2020 at 7:15 AM, sober4life said: I know how you feel. Past hurts are constantly on my mind. It's not enough for them to hurt us. They leave that poison in us as well that never seems to go away. Thank you Sober. You hit the nail on the head. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 6 hours ago, JD4010 said: The universe has affixed yet another giant "KICK ME" sign to my back. I'm starting to think that Hell would be a move up compared to where I am now. You maybe right. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGiftedOne Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 I feel like everything is all wrong. With me, with what I do. Everything. I feel so much confusion and unhappiness. I'm just wandering through life going through the motions, like I'm not really living. I'm just existing here in this world, never having any real friends or loving anyone. I've always just endured all of the fear and pain, but now I've become that fear. It's no wonder people don't want to get close. They sense all of that pain and anxiety and twisted up inside me and avoid it like the plague, and I don't blame them. Nobody with any sense would want that. I feel like the world has no place for me. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tilted Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 3 hours ago, JD4010 said: ...and, now my daughter has to put her new little kitty down because of some kind of peritonitis that's not curable. Oh god that is brutal. So sorry for you and your daughter. Thinking of you both... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tilted Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 1 hour ago, duck said: You maybe right. It is how I feel too. Today was especially craptacular. I'm so ready for all of this to be over... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 Yeah I understand how you feel. I'm very proud of my sobriety but at the same time if I was told I had a few months left to live so I could just sit around wasted watching cartoons until the end I wouldn't be too upset about it. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 (edited) Bad day Edited March 6, 2020 by Devlinkyla 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 I feel like today is going to be a good day 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 I did my time and I want out! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
watalife Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 Another day of eating, tv, and internet. The new American Dream 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 Anxious today. I've perhaps overdone it a bit this week. I pushed through in spite of the drama with Narc mom and went out of my comfort zones. I'm pleased but feel like I'm paying the price a little bit with some anxiety. All of the stress adds up I guess. All of the good stress and all of the bad stress. Still I'm not too bad. Lonely as usual but that goes without saying at the minute. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shijima Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 (edited) I currently feel content and calm. However I do still have lingering thoughts if I should stay on DF or take my leave. Though the good DF has done for me with a few people's advice and kind words of encouragement makes me want to stay. Even if I don't speak much to anyone since it's hard for me. It is a very relaxed, friendly and supportive place though so bless you all~ *sending everyone good and positive vibes you're way * Edited March 6, 2020 by Shijima 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 The story of my life has been pretending to be well when I'm nowhere close. I remember back in the hospital when I and the doctor were covered in cats and glowing worms. The doctor had so many cats on him I couldn't even see him. How are you today. I'm fine. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floor2017 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 2 hours ago, watalife said: Another day of eating, tv, and internet. The new American Dream I feel you but I’m going to have to learn to disrupt the dream of eating to much and watching the 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 1 hour ago, sober4life said: The story of my life has been pretending to be well when I'm nowhere close. I remember back in the hospital when I and the doctor were covered in cats and glowing worms. The doctor had so many cats on him I couldn't even see him. How are you today. I'm fine. I know that's not really "funny" but your deadpan response was great! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 16 hours ago, Tilted said: Oh god that is brutal. So sorry for you and your daughter. Thinking of you both... Thanks. This will be her second kitty that had to be put down when very young. Actually the third. I have this horrible feeling that her bad luck is overflow from my own. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 Am so tired going crazy and on and on send help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 24 minutes ago, Devlinkyla said: Am so tired going crazy and on and on send help Do you need to have somebody call the emergency number for you? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nojoy Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 I'm ok. I spent 30 minutes with the therapist talking about this. I said I wasn't happy nor was I sad; I'm just here in the middle. Her reply was "That's called being ok.That's good. That's where we want you to be." 30 minutes later I still don't know what the heck 'ok' is. and 15 minutes of us discussing that this is a new feeling for me and I should embrace it. So if anyone knows what the feeling "ok" is defined as, please let me kno 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
APFSDS Posted March 6, 2020 Share Posted March 6, 2020 Depression seems to be under control, but I've been ill with something for 2 weeks now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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