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Lindsay

How do You Feel Right Now? #12

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22 minutes ago, anon22ae said:

Same here... except I imagine it would have been a great deal better had the feelings been reciprocated. I imagine that must be quite something, if one is lucky enough to experience it...

Honestly it did happen to me once.  Someone else did feel that way too but I found out from someone else too late.  Anyone else but me was a better choice back then.  Now things are much different.  I could actually give that person a good life now I think.  Maybe the briars are worth it.:unsure:

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I feel the same way too.  I overdid it when I was young and now I'm burnt out.  It's that simple.  Not a chance that "normal" life will seem good at this point.  It never seemed good in the first place.

Edited by sober4life

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9 hours ago, anon22ae said:

Same here... except I imagine it would have been a great deal better had the feelings been reciprocated. I imagine that must be quite something, if one is lucky enough to experience it...

I did experience that once. In fact, I met the person here on DF. We had a great couple of years (or so I thought) but then, in my typical way of doing things, I screwed it all up. I can see it perfectly in hindsight...which allows me to add that disaster to the long list of failures in this pathetic life. I get to ruminate on it constantly.

Nobody else to blame except myself.  As always.

I finally found one thing I'm good at: sucking. Truly and completely sucking. 

Edited by JD4010

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Sunday night. My least favorite time of the week because I know Monday morning is just around the corner. Soon I will get to face the main source of my anxiety and stress full blast. Thinking about it wrecks my Sunday evenings and night. I try to watch something "funny" on DVD to take my mind off of it but I've seen everything so many times now. My go-to has always been Mystery Science Theater 3000 but I've seen all the episodes several times, including the most recent two seasons. 

I used to get absolutely bombed on Sunday evenings just to blot out all of the thoughts. Fortunately, I quit drinking. Nothing worse than a Monday morning at work, except a Monday morning at work while suffering with a hangover. 

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8 hours ago, JD4010 said:

I did experience that once. In fact, I met the person here on DF. We had a great couple of years (or so I thought) but then, in my typical way of doing things, I screwed it all up.

But is the bridge fully burned? If something is meant to be, a bridge can always be rebuilt. At least that's my (naive?) viewpoint...

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7 hours ago, anon22ae said:

But is the bridge fully burned? If something is meant to be, a bridge can always be rebuilt. At least that's my (naive?) viewpoint...

I would normally agree, but she went off the radar after we "broke up." Again, it wasn't her doing, it was me being too stupid to realize why she wanted to end the relationship.

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The ad I have now is a course to be a life coach!  It's as absurd as Leo from That 70s Show being a life coach.  I can show you how to be the biggest loser on earth maybe.  When was the last time you had a job?  When was the last time you had a friend?  When was the last time anyone else was at your house?  What did you do today?  A bunch of shrugged shoulders from me.🤷‍♀️

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On 11/22/2020 at 1:22 PM, sober4life said:

I feel the same way too.  I overdid it when I was young and now I'm burnt out.  It's that simple.  Not a chance that "normal" life will seem good at this point.  It never seemed good in the first place.

my life was robbed from this illness. its very unfair to feel this way, i don't wish it on ANYONE

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I missed all of you.  I was feeling ill for several days.  I had some kind of flu bug.  I am feeling better now. 

I am still seeing blurred with my right eye.  I have another appointment with my optometrist for Nov 26.  I saw him two weeks ago and he did not find anything wrong with my eyes. 

I am hearing we are going into a lockdown again.  It will be announced on Tuesday. 

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2 hours ago, duck said:

I am still seeing blurred with my right eye.  I have another appointment with my optometrist for Nov 26.  I saw him two weeks ago and he did not find anything wrong with my eyes.

If you continue to have the blurred vision in your right eye and your optometrist still cannot find anything wrong, maybe ask him about the possibility of 'optic neuritis' -- been there, done that.  I am not saying that is what it is; just one possibility.   

Good luck!

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17 hours ago, sober4life said:

When was the last time you had a job?  When was the last time you had a friend? 

Hey, your job is to do what you are doing here. You help so many people every day for free. You should be paid for it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Also, you definitely have friends. I am one and you have many others here. I realised this the other day when you all told me as much: These people and these connections are real and meaningful. Keep up the good work!!! ❤️

Edited by Nightjar

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35 minutes ago, Nightjar said:

Hey, your job is to do what you are doing here. You help so many people every day for free. You should be paid for it 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ Also, you definitely have friends. I am one and you have many others here. I realised this the other day when you all told me as much: These people and these connections are real and meaningful. Keep up the good work!!! ❤️

I don't want to be paid.  I'm here because I care about the people here.  I would have offed myself a long time ago if it wan't for the people here.  I start to feel better and then I have some of the most ridiculous conversations with people in real life.  I think I would be much better in life if I didn't have family like the grandma on Sopranos.  There's no nurturing comments.  It's all poison.  You never feel like they even want you to succeed.  So you realize you're on your own.  You have to fully get the strength to go on because you know if you lose everything and end up on the streets again you'll never see them.  They'll say the hell with me.

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1 minute ago, sober4life said:

I don't want to be paid.  I'm here because I care about the people here.  I would have offed myself a long time ago if it wan't for the people here.  I start to feel better and then I have some of the most ridiculous conversations with people in real life.  I think I would be much better in life if I didn't have family like the grandma on Sopranos.  There's no nurturing comments.  It's all poison.  You never feel like they even want you to succeed.  So you realize you're on your own.  You have to fully get the strength to go on because you know if you lose everything and end up on the streets again you'll never see them.  They'll say the hell with me.

I completely understand sober.  :hugs:I'm no contact with narc mom again. It's lonely, but I'm healthier for it. My confidence starts to rise, the minute I'm away from her. Crappy interactions do nothing for our self esteem and make us feel unworthy of good relationships. But we are worthy. And good relationships are out there if we are willing to open our hearts to them ❤️

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22 hours ago, watalife said:

Physical dead tired and mentally screwed but I guess this is all apart of God's plan 😵 thank you for my life im so lucky to be alive 😬

I could go on a long rant about "God's plan" and "counting our blessings," but nobody wants to read that. Fortunately, for other people's sake, I'm weary enough that I don't even want to write about it.

Hope your doing better today, my friend.

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I've felt ok for a week.
Seems my dad's "illness" was a false alarm, I felt really scared. He doesn't really talk about things at all - just like me. Seems he's ok.


I wish each and every one of you all the best! You people are courage personified!

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10 hours ago, duck said:

I missed all of you.  I was feeling ill for several days.  I had some kind of flu bug.  I am feeling better now. 

I am still seeing blurred with my right eye.  I have another appointment with my optometrist for Nov 26.  I saw him two weeks ago and he did not find anything wrong with my eyes. 

I am hearing we are going into a lockdown again.  It will be announced on Tuesday. 

Good to hear from you, Sir Duck! Happy you are feeling better. I hope they figure out what's causing your vision to blur...

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15 minutes ago, APFSDS said:

I've felt ok for a week.
Seems my dad's "illness" was a false alarm, I felt really scared. He doesn't really talk about things at all - just like me. Seems he's ok.


I wish each and every one of you all the best! You people are courage personified!

Well, that's a relief about your dad. 

Best wishes right back at you...you are one of the courageous ones as well!

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