Nightjar Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 (edited) 9 hours ago, BlueCycloBlog said: YES exactly. I just showered and washed my hair and practiced some actual self-care and I say "yay me!" and then Depression snickers, "Seriously? You're proud that you brushed your teeth?" Oh yes. All of the above is true for me. But this is where we are. And we don't have to beat ourselves up for it on top of dealing with the depression and low energy. We can just say, well done me for brushing my teeth OK, easier said than done sometimes but doable. Honest. And when I manage to brush my teeth without beating myself up for not finding it easy, it's a good day Edited November 11, 2020 by Nightjar 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 I am looking at beautiful flowers from tropical countries. I do not feel well. I am quite upset now because of past abuses. I am doing breathing exercises. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 1 minute ago, duck said: I am doing breathing exercises. Well done you for practicing the breathing exercises 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iWantRope Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 9 hours ago, Depressedgurl007 said: When it gets very bad n u just want to disappear but u can’t cos u have responsibilities, so instead of wasting time staring at the ceiling, u drag yourself to do them..do u end up doing everything in slow motion n end up taking hours to do a single task? N u realise u have wasted time anyway? N end up hating yourself n hating this world n then hating yourself again cos the pathetic one is me? Is it just me? How do I get out of it? Why hate yourself when it's the world that favors fast, efficient multitaskers? It's not your intentional fault As to getting out of it, unfortunately even if all of us DFers combine our efforts we can't change how the world thinks. Which is why I'm back to looking for jobs that's okay with everything done at slow pace 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tux Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 I feel numb and stressed, all wrapped into one. I feel like the meds I have been taking has made life a lot more difficult and I lost my ability to use DBT skills, at least at the moment it seems that way. My doc constantly brings up admission and at this point it feels like a threat. I appreciate the extra help I am getting, or should I say: The constant checking in on me. But it is so overwhelming. The nurse who rang today again brought up how the doc wants to admit me. I am upset, I can't be this much of burden to my family. Is there ever a right time to get admitted? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 14 hours ago, samadhiSheol said: In the rare instances I can calm my mind and silence the eternal natter in my head, I hear, see, feel absolutely nothing. All there is is a void, a suffocating nothing that smothers and compresses. That is the true nature of existence, ladies and gentlmen. That is essence of the cosmos. Nothingness, futility and indifference. There is nothing out that cares are we alive or dead. I have no intention of sticking around any longer than I have to. I sometimes wonder why "the universe" evolved all these billions of years and the conditions coalesced exactly as they did such that it shat me out 60 years ago, and then didn't off me at some point. I wasn't supposed to live because I was born almost eight weeks early. My lungs didn't work. But for some inconceivable reason, I pulled through so that I could use up precious resources that could have been put to much better use by someone else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladysmurf Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 I know I have said this before many many times, and I apologize, but I wonder if the day will come when I will be able to enjoy my favorite meal in this lifetime.... 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladysmurf Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 12 hours ago, duck said: I am looking at beautiful flowers from tropical countries. I do not feel well. I am quite upset now because of past abuses. I am doing breathing exercises. breathing exercises are good duck! than the flowers i hope you feel better 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted November 11, 2020 Share Posted November 11, 2020 I'm trying to get my turkey sounds perfect. I think if I talk in turkey language the rest of the month it will sum up how much I care. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 14 hours ago, duck said: I am looking at beautiful flowers from tropical countries. I do not feel well. I am quite upset now because of past abuses. I am doing breathing exercises. The only "traveling" I do now is via the internet. Sometimes I get on Google Maps Street View and "drive around" places I'd like to visit someday. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 I'm to the point where I don't want to travel anymore. There's no getting out of here. There's no escape. Maybe if I just calm down and accept my circumstances I'll just die. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nojoy Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 empty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherryapplez2020 Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 I have a bad headache it’s making me feel light headed feel depressed today and anxious Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BlueCycloBlog Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 If there were a gameshow called Who Can Be the Most Negative? I'd totally win the grand prize. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 So, in a weird way I feel like something has lifted from me.. Not sure what it is yet, but I feel a bit lighter Maybe it was just the fact that I got things off my chest here. I usually just swallow it all down. You guys definitely helped me out the other day during my meltdown so I Thankyou 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 I remember as a kid waking up at 5 oclock to watch cartoons. I'm still doing the same thing today. I wish I had a smurf hat to wear today. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Depressedgurl007 Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 Sleep, wake up, work, eat, sleep, wake up, work, eat, sleep, wake up, work, eat.. on repeat.. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bulgakov Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 (edited) On 11/10/2020 at 6:49 AM, jkd_sd said: A computer would not have a hope in heck of generating me -- too many quirks, flaws, and failures. Hey! If by some fluke I am computer generated, will someone please tweak the program to resolve some of these crappy issues in my life? Reality is still in beta testing, lots of bugs. Bulgakov Edited November 12, 2020 by Bulgakov 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 32 minutes ago, Bulgakov said: Reality is still in beta testing, lots of bugs. Bulgakov “This program has performed an illegal operation and will be terminated.” 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 On 11/11/2020 at 11:54 AM, iWantRope said: Why hate yourself when it's the world that favors fast, efficient multitaskers? It's not your intentional fault As to getting out of it, unfortunately even if all of us DFers combine our efforts we can't change how the world thinks. Which is why I'm back to looking for jobs that's okay with everything done at slow pace Sound advice. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 12 hours ago, BlueCycloBlog said: If there were a gameshow called Who Can Be the Most Negative? I'd totally win the grand prize. I would lose even at this show. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iWantRope Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 (edited) On 11/10/2020 at 9:49 PM, jkd_sd said: Hey! If by some fluke I am computer generated, will someone please tweak the program to resolve some of these crappy issues in my life? If I am computer generated, the only way to resolve the issues in my life format c colon Edited November 12, 2020 by iWantRope Wow, emojis cannot be deleted when on mobile browser 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkd_sd Posted November 12, 2020 Share Posted November 12, 2020 37 minutes ago, iWantRope said: If I am computer generated, the only way to resolve the issues in my life format c colon Funny! I am in the 'IT' field and old enough to get that joke. Reminds me of this one -- Only 1 person in 100 understands hexadecimal; the other 255 don't get it. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted November 13, 2020 Share Posted November 13, 2020 20 hours ago, BlueCycloBlog said: If there were a gameshow called Who Can Be the Most Negative? I'd totally win the grand prize. We might have to split that prize. I'd give you one helluva run for your money with negativity. I see Eeyore as an optimist. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted November 13, 2020 Share Posted November 13, 2020 (edited) My life is one long irony. I find myself having to discipline an employee for having THE SAME PROBLEMS THAT I DO with work. Talk about the ultimate "people who live in glass houses" dilemma. FML. F it all to hell. On edit: my life is already hell. What's worse than hell? Edited November 13, 2020 by JD4010 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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