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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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34 minutes ago, sober4life said:

I would gladly fight next to you any war like you were my brother!

Thanks, much appreciated, but believe me, I’m not worth the effort.

Besides, there’s no true adversary.

My existence is just a glitch in the matrix.  I don’t belong anywhere. I’m like a virus. I just need to be flushed out into oblivion.

Edited by samadhiSheol
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4 minutes ago, watalife said:

In pain. At least it's a fact that I won't be around for long if I keep neglecting my health. I can't afford the procedure anyway on 9$ a hour. So the world wants me to die and I'm okay with that. I didn't like you anyway.  

I'm in the same boat. I've put off having a tumor removed for almost a year now. I'm using the COVID situation as the excuse. I also have a tooth that broke off and is infected. Why did "God" create teeth with so many pain nerves in them?

Edited by JD4010
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@JD4010 I have the dental issue right now too so I'm really dragging to keep everything going. You would think teeth would be more durable but they are very fragile. One of my injurys was from a dam potato chip (kettle) so the foods are also to blame. I think school should teach a course on health and personal care for those of us raised by a whole family of toothless persons.

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1 minute ago, watalife said:

@JD4010 I have the dental issue right now too so I'm really dragging to keep everything going. You would think teeth would be more durable but they are very fragile. One of my injurys was from a dam potato chip (kettle) so the foods are also to blame. I think school should teach a course on health and personal care for those of us raised by a whole family of toothless persons.

Agreed. I definitely fit right in with my hillbilly ancestry. I have few teeth left, actually. I can't smile now because the top row of front teeth is GONE. I can't afford the dentist; repairing one tooth will run over $1000.

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I have serious health issues too but I've given up on getting checked out.  For someone like me they just want to make as much insurance money as they can before I go.  There is no real help.  It's just lectures and bills for doing nothing.  Who says I want to  live any longer anyway.  If I go to them they will box me in and leave me no choice.  Forget it!

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51 minutes ago, watalife said:

@JD4010 I have the dental issue right now too so I'm really dragging to keep everything going. You would think teeth would be more durable but they are very fragile. One of my injurys was from a dam potato chip (kettle) so the foods are also to blame. I think school should teach a course on health and personal care for those of us raised by a whole family of toothless persons.

Hey, that l'il ginge has a fine pair of teeth by the looks of things. I bet he'd chew stuff up for you, no problem 🐱

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How do I become brave enough to leave this world? I actually feel a bit triggered when people say “I’m sorry for your loss.” Because I want to be able to leave this world too. I’m not sorry, but I wish I’m them and I wish I can escape from reality forever. How lucky they are to be gone. I hate myself so much. 

Edited by Depressedgurl007
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1 hour ago, babyxgothxx said:

Like I'm not needed or wanted here on DF, even though I'm doing good in real life. I don't know why 😔  

We love you here!  Don't let your mind tell you that we don't care about you.  I know how you feel though.  I feel like everyone is against me all the time.

Edited by sober4life
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2 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

Like I'm not needed or wanted here on DF, even though I'm doing good in real life. I don't know why 😔  

 

32 minutes ago, sober4life said:

We love you here!  Don't let your mind tell you that we don't care about you.  I know how you feel though.  I feel like everyone is against me all the time.

Indeed. @sober4life Took the words out of my mouth. 

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On 10/19/2020 at 2:22 PM, JD4010 said:

I'm in the same boat. I've put off having a tumor removed for almost a year now. I'm using the COVID situation as the excuse. I also have a tooth that broke off and is infected. Why did "God" create teeth with so many pain nerves in them?

JD4010, please go and get medical help.  

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Feeling a bit better today. I notice a strong correlation between my sleep patterns and my mood. If I stay up late watching movies, I feel anxious and depressed the next day. 

I'm nowhere near as bad if I go too bed earlier. I definitely suffer with SAD and my energy levels are down but if I get to bed earlier, it's much more manageable. 

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23 hours ago, babyxgothxx said:

Like I'm not needed or wanted here on DF, even though I'm doing good in real life. I don't know why 😔  

I'm happy to hear that you are doing well in real life at least! DF has slowed down quite a bit over the past six months...might be the whole COVID business, I don't know.

Far as I'm concerned, you are a very important member of the DF family. I'd miss the hell out of you if you left us.

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Took the stray kitty to the veterinarian yesterday. He checked out well. His biggest issue is that he's malnourished. That's easy to fix. :) He has an abscessed tooth that needs to be removed but that's about it. They put his age around 6.

I'm tempted to keep him--and my daughter wants me to--but I still struggle with having him integrate with the other two cats who've had me to themselves for five years. I dunno. 

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I seriously wonder if EVER in my lifetime I will be able to go out enjoy my favorite meal, enjoy the weather, laugh without my mind running in the circles of anxiety/ocd/depression// all the wonderful stuff i've been dealing with since I was a young kid. Right now I am forced like many of you to pretend to be okay, pretend that things are going okay, show the different side of myself when I am out there in the real world, yet when I return home it's a different story..For months now I try to keep myself busy because what else can I do but constantly torture myself in negative thoughts and isolate, etc. But will that day ever come? for me? for many of us who can't get any relief? I suppose one can hope, but I sadly don't see that day in my lifetime..

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4 hours ago, Nightjar said:

Feeling a bit better today. I notice a strong correlation between my sleep patterns and my mood. If I stay up late watching movies, I feel anxious and depressed the next day. 

I'm nowhere near as bad if I go too bed earlier. I definitely suffer with SAD and my energy levels are down but if I get to bed earlier, it's much more manageable. 

i get like that too, here's a little research i did i couldn't paste the website I don't think we are allowed. but maybe look into lamps if you haven't already

Two different ways of administering light therapy

1. A light box delivers light that with up to ten times the intensity of normal domestic lighting. In most cases, you simply sit about 12 inches in front of a 10,000-lux light box for 15 to 30 minutes each morning. The light box emits a controlled amount of white light, with harmful ultraviolet (UV) rays filtered out.

While the light needs to enter the eyes, you shouldn’t stare directly at the light box, but rather continue your morning routine, such as eating breakfast, reading the newspaper or working at the computer. Most people notice an improvement in their SAD symptoms after a few days and experience the full antidepressant effect in about two weeks.

You can buy a light box without a prescription, although you may want to work with a professional to monitor the benefits of the treatment. While light therapy carries few side effects, consult your doctor about any eye or skin problems before using a light box. Also, beware that light therapy may trigger a manic episode if you have bipolar disorder.

2. A dawn simulator is a device that gradually increases the amount of light in your bedroom in the morning to simulate the rising sun and wake you up. The light gradually increases, just as natural sunlight does, over a period of 30 to 45 minutes. Instead of waking in darkness, you wake to what looks like a sunny morning. This can help reset your circadian rhythm and improve your mood. While light boxes may trigger hypomania or mania in those with bipolar disorder, there is no such risk with a dawn simulator.

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I dumped $330 at the vet yesterday having this stray kitty checked out. He's doing better than I thought he would be. Now I have to go get a tooth yanked because I'm in absolute agony. That will be a minimum of $300 as well. I can no longer afford to simply live. I don't have cable or wi fi in my dump of an apartment. I face tremendous anxiety and stress every single day yet I can't come close to breaking even. Tell me why I should burn myself out at work if I only get further behind?

Edited by JD4010
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