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How do You Feel Right Now? #12


Lindsay

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WOW!  The last several posts really meant a lot to me.  I do not have the same situations going on in my life, but the feelings expressed are what I have been feeling lately.

 I did not realize that I have been feeling so alone and 'different' until I read this.  Knowing that others have and understand these feelings helps somehow.  I know this is the same message we are often told ('You are not alone.  You will be OK.'), but it is different when I feel the message instead of just hear it.  

For now, I feel better -- mostly relief.  Hopefully, I can hold onto this feeling and use it to move forward.

Note to all:  Never accept that you, or your posting here, is worthless.  You count and your posts can help others in ways you may never know.   Best wishes to all!

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On 10/16/2020 at 5:08 PM, samadhiSheol said:

Glass half full or empty? 

Just give me the goddam glass!!! 

”I think not of the glasses but of the drink”

Lyrics from ”Caucasian Walk”, Virgin Prunes.  
 

I am a bit of a lush at times..as in I like my vino..

I have also always been drawn to the cthonic and murky, e.g. music, theatre, literature and movies that hits you in places you didn’t even know thst existed. The dark places you need to integrate, instead of fighting against.

Dunno how I actually feel right now though..
 

 

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On 10/16/2020 at 6:52 AM, sober4life said:

I honestly think they will work on the stimulus checks after they are done with the supreme court not because they care.  Both sides will come at each other with everything they have right before the election.  Telling everyone they're getting a free check will be in both of their best interests during this time.  Yes that sounds awful but we live in an awful world and sounds like something they would do.

Maybe they will get into a bidding war. "Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna send the American people a check for $10,000!"

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On 10/16/2020 at 5:15 AM, anon22ae said:

Yes, I think the Daily Pfennig covers the BS of the BLS unemployment reports pretty well. The guy who writes it used to be in banking and finance, and always has some choice words, along with factual explanations.

There's really something wrong with this picture: On one hand, you have the world's richest man becoming $80 billion richer, thanks to Amazon stock. On the other, many of the rest of us can't make ends meet, and await peanuts from a government that can't even get its act together to send us those peanuts. The gap between rich and poor is expanding catastrophically.

In all fairness he had a dream and he went for it.  I have to disagree with you on this.

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2 hours ago, samadhiSheol said:

”I think not of the glasses but of the drink”

Lyrics from ”Caucasian Walk”, Virgin Prunes.  
 

I am a bit of a lush at times..as in I like my vino..

I have also always been drawn to the cthonic and murky, e.g. music, theatre, literature and movies that hits you in places you didn’t even know thst existed. The dark places you need to integrate, instead of fighting against.

Dunno how I actually feel right now though..
 

 

I think of the glass being full of very tasty coconut water. 🙂

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Today I was moved to a new position at work that I've been waiting on for a few months now but one thing that already is a small inconvenience... Christine is pretty much around me the entire time. I say it's a problem because when I saw her with her new boyfriend it hit me really hard. So much so that at the last bit of the day I stepped out into the restroom and cried. I feel so stupid because she didn't say anything to me so indirectly I've been hurt by something so simple. I'll just keep going on with everyone else being happy... While they judge me quietly on everything. 

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1 hour ago, JD4010 said:

Maybe they will get into a bidding war. "Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna send the American people a check for $10,000!"

Well it's illegal to pay us off to buy votes but technically they can do it this year legally so I think they will.  It's really our last chance I think.  After the election the winner will prop his feet up on the desk with a big boss hogg cigar for the next 4 years.  I mean he will be the first president so far to do what he said he would do on the campaign trail.:ermm:

Edited by sober4life
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8 hours ago, roadking02 said:

Today I was moved to a new position at work that I've been waiting on for a few months now but one thing that already is a small inconvenience... Christine is pretty much around me the entire time. I say it's a problem because when I saw her with her new boyfriend it hit me really hard. So much so that at the last bit of the day I stepped out into the restroom and cried. I feel so stupid because she didn't say anything to me so indirectly I've been hurt by something so simple. I'll just keep going on with everyone else being happy... While they judge me quietly on everything. 

It hurts!  I can relate.  

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21 hours ago, roadking02 said:

Today I was moved to a new position at work that I've been waiting on for a few months now but one thing that already is a small inconvenience... Christine is pretty much around me the entire time. I say it's a problem because when I saw her with her new boyfriend it hit me really hard. So much so that at the last bit of the day I stepped out into the restroom and cried. I feel so stupid because she didn't say anything to me so indirectly I've been hurt by something so simple. I'll just keep going on with everyone else being happy... While they judge me quietly on everything. 

That's gotta be really rough. I find that there's no "rational" way of dealing with this kind of thing either...I just continue to silently suffer.

Wish I had some great advice. Hang in there, my friend. 

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My daughter found a stray cat yesterday. She's really pretty; all black. She is craving love because all she wants to do is sit on you and purr. I have her in the spare bedroom of my apartment right now. She has a virus of some sort because she's sneezing a lot and one of her eyes is running. I worry because one of my cats might catch it, even though she's in a separate room. I don't know what to do with her. I'm feeding her because she is skin and bones. I'll take her to the vet tomorrow or Tuesday I guess. 

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2 hours ago, JD4010 said:

My daughter found a stray cat yesterday. She's really pretty; all black. She is craving love because all she wants to do is sit on you and purr. I have her in the spare bedroom of my apartment right now. She has a virus of some sort because she's sneezing a lot and one of her eyes is running. I worry because one of my cats might catch it, even though she's in a separate room. I don't know what to do with her. I'm feeding her because she is skin and bones. I'll take her to the vet tomorrow or Tuesday I guess. 

Lucky cat, more people cared for her than any DF member, ever.

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4 hours ago, JD4010 said:

My daughter found a stray cat yesterday. She's really pretty; all black. She is craving love because all she wants to do is sit on you and purr. I have her in the spare bedroom of my apartment right now. She has a virus of some sort because she's sneezing a lot and one of her eyes is running. I worry because one of my cats might catch it, even though she's in a separate room. I don't know what to do with her. I'm feeding her because she is skin and bones. I'll take her to the vet tomorrow or Tuesday I guess. 

You're a good man, Charlie Brown!  💕

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11 hours ago, JD4010 said:

My daughter found a stray cat yesterday. She's really pretty; all black. She is craving love because all she wants to do is sit on you and purr. I have her in the spare bedroom of my apartment right now. She has a virus of some sort because she's sneezing a lot and one of her eyes is running. I worry because one of my cats might catch it, even though she's in a separate room. I don't know what to do with her. I'm feeding her because she is skin and bones. I'll take her to the vet tomorrow or Tuesday I guess. 

Black cats are good luck.  Especially at Halloween!

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4 hours ago, TopekaK said:

I have to be super strong for the next "chapter" in my life.  Having a hard time,  though.

Is anyone actually seeing a therapist anymore?  In real life?

All virtual where I am... pretty sure it's the case almost everywhere else in the US. I suppose I could request a session in-person, but I might need to move heaven and earth to succeed.

On the other hand, dentists are open again and I've been to one. I know it's hard to do dentistry virtually, but if I can see a dentist in person, why not any other doctor?

 

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16 hours ago, JD4010 said:

My daughter found a stray cat yesterday. She's really pretty; all black. She is craving love because all she wants to do is sit on you and purr.

My parents adopted a few strays like this. These were some of the most loyal and loving of cats in my life. I guess they know what it's like "on the outside" and reciprocate for being taken in and loved.

 

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Fed up with news.Fed up with fake news. Fed up with trump, BoJo, Brexit, religion, science.. Fed up with covid. Fed up with people. Fed up with myself and this world void of any hope getting better. I see nothing good on the horizon.

It's not as if everything is worse than before. . F ucking up is what humanity does by default. But in the last 60 years or so, the impact of humanty is devastating and we can now destroy life on this planet,. Global warming. Covid. Aholes as presidents, prime ministers, CEO's.. Forest fires, chopping down rainforests for a swift buck. Our insistance and obsession on a fossil fuel based liberal capitalist economy.

And nothing is ever going to change because we are all aholes.Humanity sucks and the sooner covid or something else k ills us all the better the universe will be. I am tired of life. Tired of this bulls hit called life.

I can't stand it anymore.

Edited by samadhiSheol
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21 minutes ago, samadhiSheol said:

Fed up with news.Fed up with fake news. Fed up with trump, BoJo, Brexit, religion, science.. Fed up with covid. Fed up with people. Fed up with myself and this world void of any hope getting better. I see nothing good on the horizon.

It's not as if everything is worse than before. . F ucking up is what humanity does by default. But in the last 60 years or so, the impact of humanty is devastating and we can now destroy life on this planet,. Global warming. Covid. Aholes as presidents, prime ministers, CEO's.. Forest fires, chopping down rainforests for a swift buck. Our insistance and obsession on a fossil fuel based liberal capitalist economy.

And nothing is ever going to change because we are all aholes.Humanity sucks and the sooner covid or something else k ills us all the better the universe will be. I am tired of life. Tired of this bulls hit called life.

I can't stand it anymore.

There is no news anymore.  It's probably in their contracts after every 5 words I don't care what they are it could be ice cream santa smurf village you must blame the other side for everything.  What you say doesn't even have to make any sense anymore just point over there and blame that person for everything.

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Pretty low energy and anxious. Feel a little shaky inside. I think it's mainly due to SAD (seasonal affective disorder) . I know it makes me feel better to get outside at this time of year so Ima get myself dressed an outta the door for a walk after this cuppa. 

... Then hopefully do some yoga later after mini lion's play time ☺️

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8 hours ago, TopekaK said:

I have to be super strong for the next "chapter" in my life.  Having a hard time,  though.

Is anyone actually seeing a therapist anymore?  In real life?

Nope. I don’t see the point. After three years of therapy(chronic insomnia and exhaustion)  the outcome was I was chronically dissatisfied with myself and life in general. Wow. What a revelation.
 

since then I tried to just shrug it off. Didn’t work. I tried therapy again, three or four different therapists, after 15 years of feeling frustrated and empty within. No one has a clue what to do with me. The last therapist I saw was more interested in telling about his exploits and achievements than me. I gave up after seeing him 5 or 6 times.

I think I just gave up in general. No I am just waiting to die or get the he courage to end this all
 

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