jkd_sd Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 WOW! The last several posts really meant a lot to me. I do not have the same situations going on in my life, but the feelings expressed are what I have been feeling lately. I did not realize that I have been feeling so alone and 'different' until I read this. Knowing that others have and understand these feelings helps somehow. I know this is the same message we are often told ('You are not alone. You will be OK.'), but it is different when I feel the message instead of just hear it. For now, I feel better -- mostly relief. Hopefully, I can hold onto this feeling and use it to move forward. Note to all: Never accept that you, or your posting here, is worthless. You count and your posts can help others in ways you may never know. Best wishes to all! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 On 10/16/2020 at 5:08 PM, samadhiSheol said: Glass half full or empty? Just give me the goddam glass!!! ”I think not of the glasses but of the drink” Lyrics from ”Caucasian Walk”, Virgin Prunes. I am a bit of a lush at times..as in I like my vino.. I have also always been drawn to the cthonic and murky, e.g. music, theatre, literature and movies that hits you in places you didn’t even know thst existed. The dark places you need to integrate, instead of fighting against. Dunno how I actually feel right now though.. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 On 10/16/2020 at 6:52 AM, sober4life said: I honestly think they will work on the stimulus checks after they are done with the supreme court not because they care. Both sides will come at each other with everything they have right before the election. Telling everyone they're getting a free check will be in both of their best interests during this time. Yes that sounds awful but we live in an awful world and sounds like something they would do. Maybe they will get into a bidding war. "Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna send the American people a check for $10,000!" 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 On 10/16/2020 at 5:15 AM, anon22ae said: Yes, I think the Daily Pfennig covers the BS of the BLS unemployment reports pretty well. The guy who writes it used to be in banking and finance, and always has some choice words, along with factual explanations. There's really something wrong with this picture: On one hand, you have the world's richest man becoming $80 billion richer, thanks to Amazon stock. On the other, many of the rest of us can't make ends meet, and await peanuts from a government that can't even get its act together to send us those peanuts. The gap between rich and poor is expanding catastrophically. In all fairness he had a dream and he went for it. I have to disagree with you on this. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 2 hours ago, samadhiSheol said: ”I think not of the glasses but of the drink” Lyrics from ”Caucasian Walk”, Virgin Prunes. I am a bit of a lush at times..as in I like my vino.. I have also always been drawn to the cthonic and murky, e.g. music, theatre, literature and movies that hits you in places you didn’t even know thst existed. The dark places you need to integrate, instead of fighting against. Dunno how I actually feel right now though.. I think of the glass being full of very tasty coconut water. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadking02 Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 Today I was moved to a new position at work that I've been waiting on for a few months now but one thing that already is a small inconvenience... Christine is pretty much around me the entire time. I say it's a problem because when I saw her with her new boyfriend it hit me really hard. So much so that at the last bit of the day I stepped out into the restroom and cried. I feel so stupid because she didn't say anything to me so indirectly I've been hurt by something so simple. I'll just keep going on with everyone else being happy... While they judge me quietly on everything. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 17, 2020 Share Posted October 17, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, JD4010 said: Maybe they will get into a bidding war. "Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna send the American people a check for $10,000!" Well it's illegal to pay us off to buy votes but technically they can do it this year legally so I think they will. It's really our last chance I think. After the election the winner will prop his feet up on the desk with a big boss hogg cigar for the next 4 years. I mean he will be the first president so far to do what he said he would do on the campaign trail. Edited October 17, 2020 by sober4life 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 8 hours ago, roadking02 said: Today I was moved to a new position at work that I've been waiting on for a few months now but one thing that already is a small inconvenience... Christine is pretty much around me the entire time. I say it's a problem because when I saw her with her new boyfriend it hit me really hard. So much so that at the last bit of the day I stepped out into the restroom and cried. I feel so stupid because she didn't say anything to me so indirectly I've been hurt by something so simple. I'll just keep going on with everyone else being happy... While they judge me quietly on everything. It hurts! I can relate. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 21 hours ago, roadking02 said: Today I was moved to a new position at work that I've been waiting on for a few months now but one thing that already is a small inconvenience... Christine is pretty much around me the entire time. I say it's a problem because when I saw her with her new boyfriend it hit me really hard. So much so that at the last bit of the day I stepped out into the restroom and cried. I feel so stupid because she didn't say anything to me so indirectly I've been hurt by something so simple. I'll just keep going on with everyone else being happy... While they judge me quietly on everything. That's gotta be really rough. I find that there's no "rational" way of dealing with this kind of thing either...I just continue to silently suffer. Wish I had some great advice. Hang in there, my friend. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JD4010 Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 My daughter found a stray cat yesterday. She's really pretty; all black. She is craving love because all she wants to do is sit on you and purr. I have her in the spare bedroom of my apartment right now. She has a virus of some sort because she's sneezing a lot and one of her eyes is running. I worry because one of my cats might catch it, even though she's in a separate room. I don't know what to do with her. I'm feeding her because she is skin and bones. I'll take her to the vet tomorrow or Tuesday I guess. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 Nobody on earth would think I was ok if they saw me today so I guess I'll stay away from people. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iWantRope Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 2 hours ago, JD4010 said: My daughter found a stray cat yesterday. She's really pretty; all black. She is craving love because all she wants to do is sit on you and purr. I have her in the spare bedroom of my apartment right now. She has a virus of some sort because she's sneezing a lot and one of her eyes is running. I worry because one of my cats might catch it, even though she's in a separate room. I don't know what to do with her. I'm feeding her because she is skin and bones. I'll take her to the vet tomorrow or Tuesday I guess. Lucky cat, more people cared for her than any DF member, ever. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jkd_sd Posted October 18, 2020 Share Posted October 18, 2020 4 hours ago, JD4010 said: My daughter found a stray cat yesterday. She's really pretty; all black. She is craving love because all she wants to do is sit on you and purr. I have her in the spare bedroom of my apartment right now. She has a virus of some sort because she's sneezing a lot and one of her eyes is running. I worry because one of my cats might catch it, even though she's in a separate room. I don't know what to do with her. I'm feeding her because she is skin and bones. I'll take her to the vet tomorrow or Tuesday I guess. You're a good man, Charlie Brown! 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
duck Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 6 hours ago, sober4life said: Nobody on earth would think I was ok if they saw me today so I guess I'll stay away from people. How are you Sober? What happened? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 11 hours ago, JD4010 said: My daughter found a stray cat yesterday. She's really pretty; all black. She is craving love because all she wants to do is sit on you and purr. I have her in the spare bedroom of my apartment right now. She has a virus of some sort because she's sneezing a lot and one of her eyes is running. I worry because one of my cats might catch it, even though she's in a separate room. I don't know what to do with her. I'm feeding her because she is skin and bones. I'll take her to the vet tomorrow or Tuesday I guess. Black cats are good luck. Especially at Halloween! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TopekaK Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 I have to be super strong for the next "chapter" in my life. Having a hard time, though. Is anyone actually seeing a therapist anymore? In real life? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon22ae Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 4 hours ago, TopekaK said: I have to be super strong for the next "chapter" in my life. Having a hard time, though. Is anyone actually seeing a therapist anymore? In real life? All virtual where I am... pretty sure it's the case almost everywhere else in the US. I suppose I could request a session in-person, but I might need to move heaven and earth to succeed. On the other hand, dentists are open again and I've been to one. I know it's hard to do dentistry virtually, but if I can see a dentist in person, why not any other doctor? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anon22ae Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 16 hours ago, JD4010 said: My daughter found a stray cat yesterday. She's really pretty; all black. She is craving love because all she wants to do is sit on you and purr. My parents adopted a few strays like this. These were some of the most loyal and loving of cats in my life. I guess they know what it's like "on the outside" and reciprocate for being taken in and loved. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 (edited) Fed up with news.Fed up with fake news. Fed up with trump, BoJo, Brexit, religion, science.. Fed up with covid. Fed up with people. Fed up with myself and this world void of any hope getting better. I see nothing good on the horizon. It's not as if everything is worse than before. . F ucking up is what humanity does by default. But in the last 60 years or so, the impact of humanty is devastating and we can now destroy life on this planet,. Global warming. Covid. Aholes as presidents, prime ministers, CEO's.. Forest fires, chopping down rainforests for a swift buck. Our insistance and obsession on a fossil fuel based liberal capitalist economy. And nothing is ever going to change because we are all aholes.Humanity sucks and the sooner covid or something else k ills us all the better the universe will be. I am tired of life. Tired of this bulls hit called life. I can't stand it anymore. Edited October 19, 2020 by samadhiSheol 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 8 hours ago, duck said: How are you Sober? What happened? I'm fighting a war meant for 10 people but I'm winning if there is a such thing. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sober4life Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 21 minutes ago, samadhiSheol said: Fed up with news.Fed up with fake news. Fed up with trump, BoJo, Brexit, religion, science.. Fed up with covid. Fed up with people. Fed up with myself and this world void of any hope getting better. I see nothing good on the horizon. It's not as if everything is worse than before. . F ucking up is what humanity does by default. But in the last 60 years or so, the impact of humanty is devastating and we can now destroy life on this planet,. Global warming. Covid. Aholes as presidents, prime ministers, CEO's.. Forest fires, chopping down rainforests for a swift buck. Our insistance and obsession on a fossil fuel based liberal capitalist economy. And nothing is ever going to change because we are all aholes.Humanity sucks and the sooner covid or something else k ills us all the better the universe will be. I am tired of life. Tired of this bulls hit called life. I can't stand it anymore. There is no news anymore. It's probably in their contracts after every 5 words I don't care what they are it could be ice cream santa smurf village you must blame the other side for everything. What you say doesn't even have to make any sense anymore just point over there and blame that person for everything. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightjar Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 Pretty low energy and anxious. Feel a little shaky inside. I think it's mainly due to SAD (seasonal affective disorder) . I know it makes me feel better to get outside at this time of year so Ima get myself dressed an outta the door for a walk after this cuppa. ... Then hopefully do some yoga later after mini lion's play time 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In2deep4me Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 I have high energy and anxious and shaky inside. Not from SAD though, poison ivy, react badly, see doctor, take prednisone... The upside is I'll get a lot of stuff done for a week on the prednisone before I crash from exhaustion... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 3 hours ago, sober4life said: I'm fighting a war meant for 10 people but I'm winning if there is a such thing. I lost the ”war” just by being born. Any “fighting” I do is all moot. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samadhiSheol Posted October 19, 2020 Share Posted October 19, 2020 8 hours ago, TopekaK said: I have to be super strong for the next "chapter" in my life. Having a hard time, though. Is anyone actually seeing a therapist anymore? In real life? Nope. I don’t see the point. After three years of therapy(chronic insomnia and exhaustion) the outcome was I was chronically dissatisfied with myself and life in general. Wow. What a revelation. since then I tried to just shrug it off. Didn’t work. I tried therapy again, three or four different therapists, after 15 years of feeling frustrated and empty within. No one has a clue what to do with me. The last therapist I saw was more interested in telling about his exploits and achievements than me. I gave up after seeing him 5 or 6 times. I think I just gave up in general. No I am just waiting to die or get the he courage to end this all 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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